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Postby Dora » Wed Aug 05, 2009 7:23 am

josinella wrote:I took the test and scored pretty high. Hum, yeah. He has been busy in my life this year.
*Clap*
Yeah Josi!

You're in my prayers sis as the Lord continues to guide you.
God bless and keep you *hug*
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Postby mlg » Wed Aug 05, 2009 7:34 am

psssttt God believes ya and that's what matters. Sis, God has opened my eyes to things that make a lot of people think I'm crazy...but the Holy Spirit tells me the Truth.

Ok so you've taken the test yay...enjoy the next 14 steps they are awesome.

luv ya
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Postby josinella » Wed Aug 05, 2009 11:30 am

To Pine and Mlg1279:

Just an FYI: Not to put a time demand on God, the issue that I privately posted to you I have taken to God. I know that God's hand is in it but the waiting has made me vulnerable & tempted to sin (in other areas). I know that the 'wait' is faith building but I hate that Satan is tempting me, it depresses me because I struggle with it. I pray about it but it is like God is putting me through this and won't answer.

Maybe I should spell it out so you know. God blessed me with intelligence, attractiveness, and health. Over the years when I turned my back against God, I quit taking care of my health, I have gained a lot of weight, and I'm in debt. I have been a drinker and in my early years I was anorexic. During this period of transformation, I am back in class getting my career going, paying off debt, exercising and loosing weight, not drinking or smoking. I never was into sex or keeping company with the opposite sex. (I have to set an example for my kids.) Being attractive, it's like I am invisible to men, anyway.

When I say that I am prone to temptation, it's when I feel so down that I need a flesh outlet, mainly smoking. I am too virtuous to fornicate, I stay far away from the bars and my exercise is part of my daily devotion. I smoked yesterday and God let me know He didn't want me doing it by making me throw-up! I think I got the message. But I also feel that He needs to have this. I can't deal with this anymore and I am afraid that if it continues much longer, I will be taken off track in the other areas of my life.

So I put it to God, I know He saw me yesterday vulnerable and weak. I quit posting because I know what this is and we (God & I) are waiting to see if someone else is going to follow Christ and serve His will or choose to be legalistic. God is also preparing me. This morning I had a revelation. Satan knew back when I was a child that God was going to call me to ministry (Yes, I admit I knew. God has been telling this over the last year, too!). That is why I had the childhood that I had, he (Satan)hoped that he could beat me down so that I wouldn't be where God wants me to be, now.

The Bible is full of people who have sinned and God used some of the biggest sinners for His greatest purposes. David & Bathesheba ring a bell. And I really feel sorry for King Solomon. He had it all, ALL (abundantly more than he asked for) but lost it because he suffered from Bill Clinton's disease :). All that I am asking for is that God not allow me to loose my calling by keeping me in a situation that isn't healthy for me. It is not feeling right to me now. I was okay with it a while back but now it just doesn't feel right, when it isn't healthy to me, too much temptation, and too much silence from God. It's not about patience, it's about someone else's choice.
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Postby mlg » Wed Aug 05, 2009 11:54 am

josinella, we can all take some lessons from David. How many times did he fall to temptation, and how many times did God restore him? Now there were some times that God did punish David. Remember when God asked David to choose his punishment? David chose God's punishment over man's because he knew God is merciful. God wants us to have good things, but He also wants us to follow His call. God has something good for you in mind sis.

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Postby josinella » Wed Aug 05, 2009 1:27 pm

Why do you feel God loved David so much? You see indications of His love for him throughout the Bible.
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Postby Dora » Wed Aug 05, 2009 1:41 pm

I wonder if it's because David worshiped God.
God loves it when his children worship him. :)

*harp*
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Postby josinella » Wed Aug 05, 2009 2:05 pm

I identify a lot with David (i.e. dance, worship, love of Him and compassion). Our interim pastor gave a sermon on depression in servants of God. David was one of them. Our pastor wasn't complaining about depression but making a point that it sometimes has a purpose and some of God's 'cherished' servants suffered from it.

I think I understand about my being willing. I think my being willing is why I get depressed at times and why I feel different. I take being willing for granted. We are a peculiar people. (not ever being haughty, just trying to understand who I am and why I am). Because of my background He is all I had, even when I turned my back on Him, He was still there. Now that He has my attention, I don't want to lose Him again! I'm the one that satan wants and I am too vulnerable now.
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Postby mlg » Wed Aug 05, 2009 2:55 pm

Ohhh josinella I think God loved David so much, because he loved God so much. Everytime David fell into a snare, he went to God and either repented or cried out to God for help. David was faithful. God loved David for exactly who he was.

It's not a bad thing to be able to identify with David...actually it's good because you now see that God loves you very much. Yes the enemy was after David too continually, but David always ran to God, and God was there to lift him up out of the temptation. God will always do the same for you...if you will rely totally on Him.

luv ya
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Postby josinella » Thu Aug 06, 2009 8:16 am

I'm going to just follow God and quit worrying about people. He continues to bless me and sustain me (like David). I posted a praise on Facebook that no one responded to. I am not ashamed of my relationship with God, I am ashamed that I didn't let Him in a long time ago! But that is in the past.

My spiritual sister has been emailing daily because she knows that it's rough going for me this week. I'm just letting God call the plays this week, day by day. He lets me know everyday, everytime I call on Him it's just about me and Him. It's not selfish to self-centered in Christ. I just in a learning about Him.
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Postby mlg » Thu Aug 06, 2009 9:49 am

:) Sounds like a great thing going there for you...giving it all to God. It really is the best way, and will bring such peace. As for noone responding to your post...know that as long as you post here, I will respond, cuz I luv ya.

Take care and have a great day.
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Postby Dora » Thu Aug 06, 2009 10:31 am

Josinella

Don't stop posting scriptures or praise on Facebook just cause no one responds. You very well are planting seeds that will seep in and grow. :)

Just know you are in and have been in my prayers. *hug*
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Postby josinella » Fri Aug 07, 2009 10:10 pm

Thanks for the encouragement and keeping me in your prayers. I need to get on my knees a little more often.
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