Christianity Oasis Forum

[Mackenaw]

2/23/09 Monday 12:26AM

I love studying God's Word. I love how He guides me through His Word, pointing things out to me, and even those times when I find a little humor in it when applying it to my walk.

The other day I was reading aloud to hubby something that The Holy Spirit pointed out to me. I happened to be reading from my hubby's Bible which is a side-by-side KJV and Living Bible.

I Peter 1:1 (KJV) Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to the strangers scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappodocia, Asia, and Bithynia.

I Peter 1:1 (Living Bible) From: Peter, Jesus Christ's missionary. To: The Jewish Christians driven out of Jerusalem and scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappodocia, Ausia, and Bithynia.

When I read the KJV I was struck by the word "stranger" so did a double take and thought about it for a bit. Stranger? Stranger to what, and where? See, I like to read the KJV for this very reason. Sometimes if I read another version, I miss out on some things The Holy Spirit wants to give me revelation on or about. He knows how I think, and He knows how I love to explore and study His Word. Awwwww, Thank You Lord.

So often I've felt like a stranger -- like I didn't fit in, like I was an odd duck. Growing up I rarely was alone -- seems coming from a large family and even larger extended family did train me how to rally others around, but one thing I didn't learn was how to be alone. That condition was one I would not experience fully until adulthood and it caused me great fear. But then I realized loneliness could come knocking even in the midst of others.

Hmmmm, I do tend to get off topic sometimes, but oh how I love how He guides me through the various situations with one verse of His precious Word.

Here in I Peter 1:1 Peter, inspired by The Holy Spirit, refers to us as strangers. Strangers in the world because we've been separated out. It's a good thing -- it's a God thing. We should be able to find His peace and His joy in being a stranger. Most times I do, sometimes though, I feel alone. God allows for this. In His wisdom, He knows to bring me to that place, at times, to teach me something: about me and to grow me deeper into my faith walk, and then to awaken compassion in me towards others and their lives.

Once I had read the KJV and the Living Bible version, I read it in the NIV: I Peter 1:1 Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ. To God's elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia,

I read the 3 different versions aloud to my hubby. I was pointing out how The Holy Spirit highlights certain words in KJV, whereas if I read them in another version I sometimes gloss over, because the words have been made more common place to my way of speaking and thinking; thus, I don't tend to study or meditate on the words as much.

That's when my hubby said "I wonder if The Message version of I Peter 1:1 reads "homies" or "homeboys" instead of "strangers"? We got a chuckle out of that.

Strong's Concordance shows the word "strangers" (in the Greek to English) as #3927 and shows that this particular # or meaning of the word is used as "strangers" one time, and as "pilgrims" twice.

Hebrews 11:13 These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.

I Peter 2:11 Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;

There was a time that if I heard the word "pilgrim" I would have thought of the first Thanksgiving in America between the Indians and the Pilgrims, or I would have thought of someone doing an impression of John Wayne.

There was a time that if I heard the word "stranger" I would have thought of danger.

Now it is part of my identity -- my Lord has separated me out. I am now a stranger, a pilgrim -- a child of God. From this vantage point, I come to understand the feeling of loneliness from a different prospective, because He often uses it to draw me closer to Him.

Thank You Holy Spirit.

[Mackenaw]

Sunday 03/01/09 4:13 AM

The Holy Spirit has reminded me of a wonderful song, from my past, but one that has been re-recorded many times by many artists. The original; however, is the one that marked a big change in my life. I think reading about some of the details of Lizzie's dream reminded me of this particular time period of my life. I love how The Holy Spirit put music to it.

Picture this, Sicily, 1928 actually it was Virginia, the summer of 1966 -- I was 12 years old and had just finished 6th grade and had loaded up everything I owned into 2 paper grocery bags and was headed down the highway in the backseat of a turquoise 1963 Mercury Comet convertible. My mom was driving and my younger sister was sitting in the front passenger seat. We were making the 30 mile trek to my new home, away from my dad, my step mom, my 3 older sisters and my friends. It was warm and sunny and the wind blew my hair into my face which I was grateful for because it hid the tears streaming down my face. I was so afraid, but also so confused because I wanted to live with my mom and step-dad -- but those 30 miles seemed more like 3000 miles of separation from the life I was leaving behind. Mom even let us choose the radio station -- I let my sister find the station because I knew she would NOT choose Country music (my mom's favorite), despite the fact that she was clueless as to what was really going on.

I don't remember what songs played on the radio that day. I do know though, that music continued to grow and accompany my life in ways I never imagined.

In the summer of 1966 a song was released entitled "What Becomes of The Broken Hearted" sung by Jimmy Ruffin (brother of David Ruffin of the Temptations -- one of my fav Motown groups). It is such a wonderful song. The Holy Spirit has brought it to my mind several times over the last couple of days. As I read and re-read the lyrics, I couldn't help but notice that it reminded me somewhat of a Psalm with it's confessions of sadness and despair, but ending with hope and renewed vigor. I wonder if that song played on the radio that day. Maybe.

Thank You Holy Spirit

"What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted"

As I walk this land with broken dreams
I have visions of many things
Love's happiness is just an illusion
Filled with sadness and confusion,
What becomes of the broken hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind
Maybe.
The fruits of love grow all around
But for me they come a tumblin' down.
Every day heartaches grow a little stronger
I can't stand this pain much longer
I walk in shadows
Searching for light
Cold and alone
No comfort in sight,
Hoping and praying for someone to care
Always moving and goin' no where
What becomes of the broken hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind
Maybe.
I'm searching though I don't succeed,
But someone look, there's a growing need.
Oh, he is lost, there's no place for beginning,
All that's left is an unhappy ending.
Now what's become of the broken-hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind
I'll be searching everywhere
Just to find someone to care.
I'll be looking everyday
I know I'm gonna find a way
Nothings gonna stop me now
I'll find a way somehow
I'll be searching everywhere

[Mackenaw]

Friday, 03/13/09, 3:18pm

Interesting revelation and observations -- sometimes meekness is challenged, even by loved ones.

Throughout my life most would not have used "meek" to describe me. I've always been rather bold -- at least to the eye, or maybe I should say, to the ear. I've usually had much to say because I always had much to express. Expressive would probably be a better description of me. Good or bad, right or wrong -- I had an opinion and rarely hesitated to let it be known.

One of the very cool things that has happened to me over the last few years is that The Holy Spirit introduced me to meekness. I didn't know He was going to introduce me to it, nor did I know I would actually walk in it -- actually I never gave it much thought. But what I've discovered is that His blessed peace ushers in meekness. It all intertwined with His love and is definitely His doing. Being humbled by Him, then being hugged by Him sorta waltzes a person there. To try to describe it is kinda difficult because it is very quiet -- it comes through and settles in a calm mind that is tuned in to Him.

What I've discovered however, is that many in my life don't adjust well when He waltzes me there. Actually it is the enemy of my soul that doesn't like it so he then comes after me by tempting some of my family -- convincing them that I don't care for them or don't care what they are going through. What is not understood is that God took me there on their behalf. I wonder how many times I, in my past, have been fooled by satan into thinking that same thing.

Coming from a people that are big and bold and very, very expressive I've had years of observation -- where all war is fought loudly. But, I also remember my dad, who often sat quietly -- as if he was far, far away from the big, bold and boisterous surroundings when we would all be gathered together for some occasion. Awwwww Daddy, I now know where you were. I now know He had waltzed you there, probably on our bahalf.

Thank You, Holy Spirit.

[Mackenaw]

Thursday 03/19/09 3:56 AM

I've had a couple God dreams the last few days. One was odd in that I knew I was at a training thingy about psychological warfare, and the other people there did not know they were there for that training. Yet, I felt more like a spy. The army that was conducting the training thought I was there to be trained, but I really wasn't, I was there by God's calling -- to counter what they were doing.
The setting was like at a cabin retreat in the woods, with rustic cabins, a lake, surrounded by woods, and with a lodge for group gatherings. Most of the people there had their families with them and acted as if they were on vacation. But a few had an awareness that there could be danger, but became distracted by the vacation aspect of the situation.

There were soldiers seen round about, but they smiled and acted friendly, but I knew they were not. I would exchange looks with them and indicate that I knew what I was there for. At one point, I had gone to the far end of the lodge to sneak a smoke and saw a couple of the soldiers tip-toeing around the outside of the lodge. I opened the door and looked at them and one them hit me in the face with the butt of his rifle. I fell, but it didn't hurt. Odd.

Suddenly I was by the lake and people were swimming, boating, having picnics and such -- children running around. I could see the soldiers positioning themselves behind trees and at various places -- I knew that something bad was going to happen. Then I noticed a couple people with wetsuits on floating on their backs, trying to go unnoticed. They were there for the training, but also knew it was dangerous so were trying to hide themselves in the water. The soldiers saw them and aimed their rifles at them, while screaming for them to get out of the water.

It seemed my role there was to make people comfortable -- helping them find their cabins, directing them to the facilities, etc. But I was really there by God's call, for another purpose. I woke up.

Another dream I had, again I'm trying to make people comfortable. It is my house (but not really my house in real life because it has lots and lots of bedrooms) -- family, friends, strangers are everywhere. I am making beds -- trying my best to make every bed as comfortable as possible -- so everyone will be able to rest. They all seem so preoccupied with such trivial things. I feel sorry for them. I wish I could share my knowledge of the danger that is looming, but I know they won't listen. I hear them all talking -- they all sound friendly enough, but it is all nervous jibber-jabber -- no one is really listening to the other. I am concentrating so hard on making their beds as comfortable as possible. Many are watching me as I work -- they are all talking, and occasionally ask me a question or two, but don't seem to hear my answers. They don't seem to notice the love and care I put in choosing the sheets and blankets and pillows -- just for them. It's as if each one's need to be comforted are going to facilitated by them having a very comfortable bed to sleep in and much needed sleep/rest, but they don't know it. Their minds are preoccupied with other trivial things.

I notice this one young woman outside with a small child. She has planted herself on a fold-up outdoor lounge chair, one of those cheap metal ones. Not ideal for sleeping on through the night. I hurry inside and find a very old quilt I have had for years. It's not in the best of shape, but I know it will add cushioning to that metal lounge chair. I also grab a nice cotton sheet and a coverlet and pillow. Then I dig through my linen closet for one of my daughter's baby blankets to give this young woman for her little child. By now there are others who have started claiming portions of my backyard for the night. I, again, go in search of sheets, blankets and pillows. I wonder what they'll do if it rains -- I don't have any tents. They all look so tired, but they won't stop talking -- just a constant buzzing noise of nervous talk everywhere.

Earlier I had noticed my parents in the kitchen. They were younger -- about the age they were when I was a teen, but I was the age I am now. They had just returned from one of their unannounced weekend excursions -- annoyed to be back and very annoyed at all the people that are there and annoyed that I had not done something. They asked me where my younger sister is and I tell them that she has already gone to bed. It's only 8:30 at night, so that annoys them further. I tell them their beds are made up with clean sheets when and if they get tired. They take a quick look in the refrigerator and then announce that they are going out for dinner, and then they leave again.

One room in the house was like a basement / TV room. Huge. I made up couches as beds and even laid out excercise mats on the floor, with lots of sheets and blankets and pillows, to accommodate as many as possible. I saw a baby centipede and killed it. One of the people down there complained saying something like "oh great, we'll be having to watch for bugs all night." I hoped that wouldn't happen and continued on with my search of beds and linens.

I had this particular dream tonight -- between 10pm and 1am. I awoke and haven't been able to get it out of my mind. He'll give me more on this.

Thank You Lord.

[Mackenaw]

Sunday 050309 1:16 PM

The end of April marked 3 1/2 years of being a member at Christianity Oasis. In some ways it feels much less, yet in some ways it seems I've been a member for many more years.

Jesus' ministry was 3 1/2 years. John the Baptist's ministry was 3 1/2 years too. In the End Times, antichrist will have a reign of 3 1/2 years. Also, those that will be hidden away in the second half of The End Times -- they'll be hidden for 3 1/2 years, plus an additional 75 days.

I can't and don't say I've had a ministry or a reign for 3 1/2 years. But I do say I've been so incredibly blessed these last 3 1/2 years.

I remember back at the beginning of my time here. I remember a member that made me feel so inadequate, so helpless and so ignorant. He was different, and his message strange and accusing. Even though I really didn't know the scriptures, I knew the things he said weren't right. But it frustrated me -- knowing but unable to prove it.

I wanted to defend myself. I wanted to arm wrestle with the guy. I wanted him to lose.

God gave me to a passion for His Word which led me into blessed love and joy and peace. He healed me of my desire for that guy to lose. I sometimes wonder what ever happened to that guy. Did he find Truth, did he find healing, did he find Love? I pray he did.

I remember when The Holy Spirit first started giving me lyrics to songs from my past. He used this means so I would start recognizing His voice. Knowing that my mind was like a tornado of thoughts -- constantly spinning -- He would give me a lyric or two that would make me stop, sorta like a doggy when it hears something and stops dead in his tracks and his ears perk up, listening. When He gave me "Bridge over troubled waters" -- like the other songs, I would run to the computer and look up the lyrics. It always blew me away. The whole song blessed me, but the lyrics:

Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.

had me cry and cry and cry. I cry now remembering it.

As John said in John 21:7 ...It is the Lord...

Love,
Mack

[Mackenaw]

7/1/09 Wednesday 5:39 pm

Today I'm having bouts of sadness. One of my dogs is very ill. The vet says it is pancreitis (sp?). Poor little fellow, he's such a sweet dog. Ever since March of this year he has to endure insulin shots twice a day, and now this. But with this sickness, he moans. He is in such terrible pain. It makes me cry. Awww, sweet little Roscoe. Even he is one of God's blessed creations, so I'm trusting God and His will. The tears, though, they still keep streaming.

I know God is with me and my hubby in this and with all the other huge trials we've been through these last couple years, and especially since February, and that He is using them all for His blessed purpose.

It's interesting how when you mourn with and try to console another creature of God's, that you, yourself, can become so melancholy. I guess it's the vanity thing that Solomon talked about so much in Ecclesiastes. It's very easy to get tripped up there, but yet he also said it's better to have a mournful heart than a happy one in Proverbs.

Sometimes Solomon ticks me off. Sometimes he makes it sound like there is no use even trying or seeking comfort. But, I know it's just vanity talking/typing when I dare say/type such a thing. The soul should cry out to God, not try to speak when it's clamoring.

The enemy of my soul is most assuredly not gonna let up just because I'm sad -- he doesn't play fair and is most relentless, and he has his way with man to do his bidding for him.

I am once again reminded of a movie -- Joe Pecshi (sp??) or was it? ...spouting "you talking to me?"

When the doctors and the medical reports give you startling news, gut wrenching reports, you try to maintain faith.
When you explain to someone that you have no defense, that you screwed up and you are sorry and the well is dry -- they aren't satisfied. If you are quiet and keep your mouth shut, they aren't satisfied. So they keep goading and keep punching and keep whispering and keep hounding, keep, keep, keep.

Where's a cave when you want one?

But I've learned from Him, that fleeing to a cave is not such a good idea -- seems there's lot of overcrowding there.

So I seek Him all the more. He gives me cool songs. I want so much to share, but alas, guess it's more like "you had to be there" type thang, 'cause it doesn't have the impact you were hoping and praying for. Sorta like you taste something that is sooooooo delicious and you say to someone else "here, taste this" and they do and they squinch up their nose and you notice a gag. Not, zackly what you were going for, huh?

Try A Little Tenderness
Otis Redding

oh she may be weary
them old girls they do get wearied
wearing that same old shabby dress
but when she gets weary
you try a little tenderness


Zechariah 3:3-4 Now Joshua was clothed with filthy garments, and stood before the angel. (4) And he answered and spake unto those that stood before him, saying, Take away the filthy garments from him. And unto him he said. Behold, I have caused thine iniquity to pass from thee, and I will clothe thee with change of raiment.

God is Good. God is Good all the time.

[Mackenaw]

Tuesday, 07/28/09 5:50pm

I just finished reading a book that had such an impact on me. It was a blessed surprise.

The other night I actually sobbed while reading it. It was a much needed release while sitting here all alone, in the wee hours of the morning, while everyone else in the household slept.

God often moves me to tears. I found in recent past, however, that some people had started using my tears as a barometer of sorts, as to whether or not The Holy Spirit was present. That's too much pressure, and obviously a work of the enemy -- a temptation to turn passion into performance. Eeeuuuwwww I hate when that happens.

Reminds me of when I was a kid. I loved music and dancing. They just went hand-in-hand. Dancing was an honest, pure and sweet expression to accompany the music. Then I remember when I was about 12, some visiting exchange students happen to be at the same dance that I was. Awesome music playing -- a live band -- COOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL. I danced to my hearts content. Then one of the exchange students told me that I danced really really well, and a couple others agreed with him. Suddenly it all went bonkerz. I started dancing to please them, I was proud and I wildly performed. One of my older sisters eventually pulled me aside and sweetly suggested I hold back some in my dancing, and then said that I need not dance every dance step I knew. I felt embarrassed. I wanted to cry, but dared not because that would have only drawn more attention to my already bruised ego, an ego I was just starting to get to know.

I didn't dance much more that night. Unfortunately, the lesson my sister taught me didn't stick with me, but the temptation to please and the accompanying compliments sure did stick and grew like Jack's beanstalk. Eeeuuuwwww, I hate when that happens.

Hubby shared with me a similar experience. He loved baseball growing up. He pitched, and could throw a ball extremely fast at an early age. On top of that, he was a lefty. His dad used to brag about him. It pleased my hubby. He says he remembers his dad bragging about him at a family reunion when he was about 12 or 13, to the point older male cousins and uncles wanted to witness his amazing talent. Suddenly someone presented him with a baseball, and someone else had a glove to catch. Hubby said he threw a few balls and he heard their cheers, and he threw a few more and the more he threw the more out-of-control and wild he pitched. Hubby was embarrassed. Slowly their cheers stopped and they found other things to discuss. He didn't dare tell his dad that he had hurt his pride in that demonstration. It all sorta got lost in hubby's quest to retrieve the last wildly thrown ball.

There have been many "lost ball in tall weeds" experiences in both our lives. There will most likely be more.

Thank You Lord.
Love,
Mack

[Mackenaw]

Saturday, 8/8/09, 3:53 A.M.

I think that's the date and day??? Not sure at this point.

Yesterday was one of those days where I never fully awakened. It felt like I was in a thick fog all day, rythmn all off. Weird. Sounds seemed intrusive and obnoxious, I felt restless -- pacing like a caged panther.

I craved to be completely alone. I tried imagining a tiny cabin in the woods with no sounds of man or man-made machinery, but sounds kept exploding the vision.

This too shall pass. God is Good.

I love You, Lord.

[Mackenaw]

Monday, 9/14/09, 2:38pm

God is Good. He has us all in His hands.

Love,
Mack

[Mackenaw]

Monday 10/26/09 8:22 pm

I love The Lord -- Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

I love His Word, and how He leads me into a deeper love relationship with Him and in the midst of it, He gives me revelations and blessed healing. Awesome, Awesome God.

When going through serious challenges, and knowing you, yourself, played a part in it, sometimes it's difficult to understand fully what is a result of bad seed planting, a.k.a. repercussions via God's law of harvest, as opposed to correction.

I've done things in my past that were not wise, and in many ways sinful. Once we've repented, and lived with the repercussions, how long does that bad seed bring a harvest?

In seeking Him daily, and in my search to find His answers to my questions, He has guided me with such gentleness and kindness. Even in those darker moments when the enemy of our souls tries to condemn me for those past sins and even to try to taunt me in the repercussions, The Lord has always been right there to comfort me. No, He didn't take away the repercussions, but He did and continues to go through them with me. And, because He is with me through them, the repercussions are changed too. His grace is ever reaching, even in the harvest. Thank You Lord.

Psalm 103:10-11
(10)He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
(11) For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward them that fear Him.

Soon after coming to Christianity Oasis (four years ago this month ), I saw a teaching of Beth Moore on TV. I remember saying out loud, I want that -- I want what she has, that passion for His Word. I remember her telling me, and her TV audience, pray for a passion for His Word -- ask Him for it. So I did, and whoa, did He fulfill my request!!! Thank You Lord.

Beth Moore has a teaching on "Thriving in a season of chastising". I've been watching and listening to it for the last week. It has blessed me so very much. My spirit is very sensitive to what I hear, and because of that I am careful what I allow my physical ears to hear. I am so elated that The Holy Spirit led me to hear this teaching. He absolutely blew me away with what He shared through Beth in this teaching. My spirit received and gloried in His revelations and healing . My hubby listened to it too, and his spirit received His message and was so blessed, as well.

Hebrews 12:12-13
(12) Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;
(13) And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.

The teaching concentrates mostly on the 12th Chapter of Hebrews. God is so Good.

Thank You Lord.

Love,
Mack

[Mackenaw]

Thursday, 12/10/09 2:40pm

"You don't know Me" (Ray Charles)

You give your hand to Me
And then you say, "Hello."
And I can hardly speak,
My heart is beating so.
And anyone can tell
You think you know Me well.
Well, you don't know me.
(no you don't know Me)

No you don't know the One
Who dreams of you at night;
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I'm just a friend.
That's all I've ever been.
Cause you don't know Me.
(no you don't know Me)

For you never knew the art of making love,
Though My heart aches with love for you.
Afraid and shy, you let your chance go by.
A chance that you might love Me too.
(love Me too)

You give your hand to Me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside that other guy
Oh, you'll never ever know
The One Who loved you so.
Well, you don't know Me

For you never knew the art of making love,
Though My heart aches with love for you.
Afraid and shy, you let your chance go by.
A chance that you might love Me too.

Oh, you give your hand to Me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside that other guy
Oh, you'll never ever know
The One Who loves you so.
Well, you don't know Me

John 17:3 And this is life eternal, that they might know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, Whom Thou has sent.

Love,
Mack

[Mackenaw]

Thursday 12/17/09 2:53pm

I'm reminded of the times I type "God is Good" after I've received an answer to prayer, and others celebrate with me -- but what about while I'm still in the thick of the challenge? Same when others are going through a huge challenge -- do I wait? do I wait until their prayers have manifested before I type "God is Good" ...?

Would they think it odd or cruel for me to type "God is Good" right after they just shared a trial that they are currently going through? I think most would. How sad is that? Is not God Good All The Time? Yes, He Is!!!

Several months ago I read a book -- the story was fiction, but His Truth was still shared throughout the book. The main character in the book was a mystery, as others suspected that he just might be the Apostle John, here in the 21st Century. I loved how he, John, (yes his name was John :-) ) would arrive on the scene -- right in the middle various groups of people involved in discussions about God. He would listen intently, and then he might say something like this: "you don't know Him at all, do you?" or "you have never experienced His love, have you?" and then he would start sharing Jesus. People would stop in their tracks, and listen with great wonderment -- totally awe struck.

I often want to make those kinds of statements to others. I've spoken those words to myself on numerous occasions over the last couple months. Because sometimes, when I'm in the thick of things, I can forget -- because the struggles of the flesh can be so convincing and all-consuming. But praise God, He knows His children.

God is Good.

Love,
Mack