Christianity Oasis Forum
Time to Change-My journal
This is the fisrt post for me and I have decided that I am going to do the 14 day couseling commitment and today being my first day I am supposed to say what is bothering me and what brought me to this site. Actually several things brought me to this site. For sake of getting everything out I am going to put them on this post like bullets. Then I can keep track of everything.
1. I was sexually abused by my grandfather and uncle and have alot of issues dealing with the fact that this has happened. There is a long story that goes with it but I will update that as I feel fit to do so.
2. Depression-I have been clinically depressed for several years now and I want to get out from under the depression. I know that I can do it but I need God's help. I've tried it on my own and I haven't been able to make it.
3. Cutting-I've been a cutter for just as many years as I have been depressed. It has been getting steadly better but I am worried that I will backslide to it again becuase the depression is coming on hard. I want to stay away from it.
4. Suicide-I've had several suicide attempts. I'm really scared that if the cutting gets bad that I might accidently cut myself to the point where I end up killing myself. I never cut to kill but I do worry about it.
5. Pornography-This is something that I have never had to deal with before. Within the past 9 months I have been watching porn more and more. I enjoy it but I know that it is wrong and I don't know how to get rid of it. I know its wrong and I sit in bed at night and that is one of the first things that I do after I get ready for bed. I don't want this to be apart of my life. I am scared that it will take over and I won't be able to get it back.
As of right now those are the big things that I am dealing with. I want to get the evil out of my life and give my life back to God. For I know that he is the only one the can truelly heal me.
1. I was sexually abused by my grandfather and uncle and have alot of issues dealing with the fact that this has happened. There is a long story that goes with it but I will update that as I feel fit to do so.
2. Depression-I have been clinically depressed for several years now and I want to get out from under the depression. I know that I can do it but I need God's help. I've tried it on my own and I haven't been able to make it.
3. Cutting-I've been a cutter for just as many years as I have been depressed. It has been getting steadly better but I am worried that I will backslide to it again becuase the depression is coming on hard. I want to stay away from it.
4. Suicide-I've had several suicide attempts. I'm really scared that if the cutting gets bad that I might accidently cut myself to the point where I end up killing myself. I never cut to kill but I do worry about it.
5. Pornography-This is something that I have never had to deal with before. Within the past 9 months I have been watching porn more and more. I enjoy it but I know that it is wrong and I don't know how to get rid of it. I know its wrong and I sit in bed at night and that is one of the first things that I do after I get ready for bed. I don't want this to be apart of my life. I am scared that it will take over and I won't be able to get it back.
As of right now those are the big things that I am dealing with. I want to get the evil out of my life and give my life back to God. For I know that he is the only one the can truelly heal me.
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verdad100
verdad you are right God is the one that can heal you.
I am certain you'll find the help you desire with in the counseling steps.
I'll be here for you to help you along the way.
Prayers for you.
GB
I am certain you'll find the help you desire with in the counseling steps.
I'll be here for you to help you along the way.
Prayers for you.
GB
Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Dora - Posts: 3759
- Location: In Gods Hands
- Marital Status: Married
a person usually replaces one addiction with another, the one thing is to find the right addiction I chose to be addicted to god my healer. replace the bad with good read bible, listen to worship music, write a letter to yourself, call a friend to walk you through. find good spiritual friend. first of all I know this is fact God will bring you through.
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bonbon1
Welcome, well you have a lot of pain going on and sometimes like bonbon said we replace one addiction with another but you are taking the first step you are looking to GOD you have to recognize when you make the right decision. And yes this will not be easy because turning your life around takes commitment and dedication but you are aware of the one fact that really matters you need GOD in your life. Things wont just happen overnight but when you start to feel depressed get up read the bible or get inspirational movie's or watch shows like cbn instead of watching porn. Listen to Christian music the devil doesn't like when we concentrate on GOD. So make GOD your focus get to know him better talk to him let him know your problems because even though you can't see him know that he is always there, and he loves you.
GOD BLESS
GOD BLESS
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Hi Verdad Im so glad you are here at Oasis. Know that you arent here by mistake. The Lord has led you here and you will find healing and truth in doing these steps.
wanted to say this....being abused as you were as a child opens the door to all the things you are struggling with now. Somehow, when we are abused, we blame ourselves, live with unforgiveness..for the abuser(s) and ourselves....which leads to all of the things you are describing here. This is how the enemy of your soul keeps you trapped in what seems like an inescapable prison within your own mind...and body.
As you go through these steps, however, and read other people's blogs here, you will see that you arent alone in this. You are a child of the most High God, He loves you more than you will ever understand, and sees you as precious and priceless in His eyes. The TRUTH will set you free. Its not going to be easy and the tempter will lie to you...but keep going and know that greater is He in you than he who is lying to you. There is healing...surrender, and receive what He has for you....what His plan is for you. He has had a plan for you since before He created you.
we are here for you...and standing in prayer with you. keep going...you will get there. dont give up.
love in Jesus,
momo
wanted to say this....being abused as you were as a child opens the door to all the things you are struggling with now. Somehow, when we are abused, we blame ourselves, live with unforgiveness..for the abuser(s) and ourselves....which leads to all of the things you are describing here. This is how the enemy of your soul keeps you trapped in what seems like an inescapable prison within your own mind...and body.
As you go through these steps, however, and read other people's blogs here, you will see that you arent alone in this. You are a child of the most High God, He loves you more than you will ever understand, and sees you as precious and priceless in His eyes. The TRUTH will set you free. Its not going to be easy and the tempter will lie to you...but keep going and know that greater is He in you than he who is lying to you. There is healing...surrender, and receive what He has for you....what His plan is for you. He has had a plan for you since before He created you.
we are here for you...and standing in prayer with you. keep going...you will get there. dont give up.
love in Jesus,
momo
James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up.
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momof3 - Posts: 1402
- Location: Texas
- Marital Status: Not Interested
verdad100, Welcome to the Oasis. So glad to have you here.
You know sis, from what I read you are already starting to work on fighting through the problems in your life. What's more now you are stepping out to allow God to help you heal and move forward as well. Jesus can bring peace to your heart, and He will be there for you anytime you need Him. When you feel temptation coming your way, call out to Him, and ask Him to be your help in fighting the temptation.
Something I want to mention about the pornography, maybe a blocker if you are looking at it on the computer, would help. If you have videos or other items, throw them out sis. Time to clean out the old bad habits and replace them with new Godly ones.
I will be walking with you on your journey sis. Let me know if you need any help.
Take care and God Bless you
You know sis, from what I read you are already starting to work on fighting through the problems in your life. What's more now you are stepping out to allow God to help you heal and move forward as well. Jesus can bring peace to your heart, and He will be there for you anytime you need Him. When you feel temptation coming your way, call out to Him, and ask Him to be your help in fighting the temptation.
Something I want to mention about the pornography, maybe a blocker if you are looking at it on the computer, would help. If you have videos or other items, throw them out sis. Time to clean out the old bad habits and replace them with new Godly ones.
I will be walking with you on your journey sis. Let me know if you need any help.
Take care and God Bless you
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mlg - Posts: 4428
- Marital Status: Not Interested
hii verdad welcome to oasis..
God will heal u..open ur heart and let Him heal ya.
love ya!
God will heal u..open ur heart and let Him heal ya.
love ya!
walk the Faith..
walk the Love..
walk the Love..
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sweetlittleangel - Posts: 221
- Location: under the wings of His love..
- Marital Status: Single
Day 2
So the second day told us about weeding. I believe it said that my mind was a garden and all of the sin it contained were all the weeds. I think that I would rather say that my body is a graden and all the sins within are weeds. Either way I have sin in my life that needs to be removed. I am well aware of the sin in my life and despriately want it to change. With Gods help I am weeding out the sin. And I know all to well that it is a constant battle. The weed(sin) keep poping up...all the time. But God and I are working at making sure that they get pulled each time. Also I do have a praise report. It may seem small to some but to me it is huge. Last night I really really wanted to go to a porn site to watch and instead I went to the chat room and there were actually people in there to talk to(except when the room decided to book one of us) and I was able to stay strong and I didn't go on the site last night. I went to bed and had some really great sleep after that to. God is so good!!!! Thank you father for looking out for me and for keeping me strong. I'm glad Oasis was here!!!
Brandy
Brandy
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verdad100
Yay verdad...God is so good to those who love Him...God brought you to the Oasis to give you a choice of choosing Him over the temptation...and you did. I'm so very proud of you, and so is Jesus. Anytime you turn to God, He will be there for you, and He brought you peace afterwards so that you could sleep well. I smile sis.
Keep weeding your garden sis, one weed at a time. Eventually your garden will be clean and beautiful.
luv ya
Keep weeding your garden sis, one weed at a time. Eventually your garden will be clean and beautiful.
luv ya
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mlg - Posts: 4428
- Marital Status: Not Interested
woohoooo! verdad! God is good. Im so glad you turned to God instead of giving into the temptation. One step at a time, sis. What you posted reminded me of this truth found in the bible.
1 Corinthians 10:13 (King James Version)
13There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
He is so faithful. Keep going sis. You are doing an awesome job!
in Jesus,
momo
1 Corinthians 10:13 (King James Version)
13There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
He is so faithful. Keep going sis. You are doing an awesome job!
in Jesus,
momo
James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up.
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momof3 - Posts: 1402
- Location: Texas
- Marital Status: Not Interested
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