Christianity Oasis Forum

by **Dora** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 6:46 am

Sweet sister of mine you've recognized the lies. Now speak the truth.

You are wonderfully and fearfully made. In the image of God. He calls you his own. You are his child whom he dearly loves.

I would love to see the look on those people faces when they see how very wrong they are.

I love you.
You bless me so.
Your posts are healing to many.
Don't give up.
Take my hand lets walk this through together.

by **Poefenjaf** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 6:51 am

Thanks my Pinenuttiest. I am trying to be brave, but today is just an awful day for me.

I felt God whisper something to me just now ... "Pack your mirror away until you see the Truth of who you are through Me!"

I may look a bit disheveled with uncombed hair and weird make-up in the upcoming days ....

*Halo*

by **mlg** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 7:43 am

Poe, God creates each of us, and we are wonderfully made. He made you just the way He wanted you to be, and He finds you to be a beautiful creation. Man often tries to put a scale on people's looks. Trying to see the flesh, and use that to decide if they like someone or don't. Reality is, that God knows who we are, and He doesn't see the flesh but our heart. One day our earthly bodies will pass away, and all we will have left is our soul. Work on making your soul a beautiful one sis, as this is what God will see in the end.

Keep doing the steps sis. I know they aren't easy, but yes they are worth it.

luv ya

by **Poefenjaf** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 7:47 am

Thanks mlg ... keep the hugs comin ok sis?

*Halo*

by **Dora** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 8:28 am

"Pack your mirror away until you see the Truth of who you are through Me!"

Wow poe! How Awesome!
You know what that means?
He's began the work in you to see who you REALLY are and he always finishes what he start.
One day you'll look in that mirror and be able to love yourself.

hair and make-up lol

by **momof3** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:51 am

funny, how those little deeds and words spoken by others into our lives can seat so deeply that we grow up believing the lies..and know no different..till God begins to show us the truth. Our own beliefs about ourselves literally fight what God says is the truth. He sees us the way He created us to be, not the image of the world has given us. Keep digging, poepoe. You are on your way to a deeper truth and understanding of who He is in you and who you are in Him. love you, girl. *hug*

in Jesus
momo

by **Poefenjaf** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 12:25 am

Day 3

So ... I have always had a pretty good understanding of grace thanks to the awesome woman I had who discipled me. Funny enough though, I could always very easily extend grace to others, even if they have hurt me intentionally and intolerably (how else could I forgive those men that took what was precious from me?).
Oh I KNOW God's has immeasurable grace for me ... I just don't have immeasurable grace for me.

I guess I am very self-critical - to the point of it being sinful. Maybe it's because I have been so severely criticised by others while growing up. Sheesh even when I got 96% as a term total at school, I wasn't congratulated, but asked "Why isn't it 97%?".

Yeah, I know now that that's not an excuse for being self-critical, but I am just sharing where I come from.

I guess when we ask for God's forgiveness and receive His grace it is awesome, but if we can't do the same to ourselves, we kinda throw His priceless gift back in His face - therein saying that it's fine for HIM to forgive me, but not fine for ME to forgive myself ... It's kinda like placing myself ABOVE God in a round-a-bout way :oops:

Guess I have to work on that.

I just get so angry and disappointed in myself when I trip over something I thought I have let go, but then, in my heat I hear my aunt and grandpa saying "You worthless piece of good-for-nothing trash" and I end up calling myself that.

Another thing I have to work at.

I am not comfortable with this process, because the scab over the wounds were safe and comfortable, but I can see the fruits of it already. Just last night I was with a family from church that I lived with for a while and I am kinda part of the family. I got invited by one of the kids to a school thing (they have limited invitations) and the sister said "No she ISNT real family..."
A few days ago that would have hurt me, but I could just laugh and hug this same child.

The process has begun I guess.

*Halo*

by **mlg** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:33 am

Poe, the words of others do not define who you are. Many people say hurtful things, because they don't know any better. We have to overlook them often, and forgive them. Then we should try to be an example to show them there is another way to speak to people, and that is out of love.

Keep doing the steps sis.

luv ya

by **momof3** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:31 am

i just had a conversation with my son about this the other day. Usually when someone is critical of someone else, they are trying to take the light and the load off of themselves so no one else can see their flaws, and they want to feel better about themselves. in trying to do so, they will put someone else down. this is a tool the enemy uses too. But, you arent defined by them. You are defined by the King of Kings...the Lord God, Himself. Others will see Him in you, and want what you have! I know they already do. That, me dearest poepoe, is a seed planted. when you can love them in spite of the way they treat you.......a seed is planted. i love you, girl. Keep going!

In Jesus,
momo *Pray*

by **sweetlittleangel** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:39 am

heyy mama

God is proud of ya doing the steps...so am i.

by **JCsmediator** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:36 pm

amen sweet so am I niecyyyyy ...

and so many here who love you dearly moma, sisters and a aunty here who thinks the world of ya too and who sooo misses and thinks you sing like an angel too *Halo*

99.99 % in me book the others is Gods where He has ur other 1% waiting for you in eternity!

I know is not easy being cut on its very painful and Im so sorry you had to go thru sooo much *hug*

but I am sooo blessd to hear you say that you are able to see that and know the difference and for you to share how you even have enough grace for even the ones that hurt you amen sis that speaks louder than words that cut, the walk God wants and the example that you are can be even back to them that hurt you can heal a multitude of sins and even win them to the Lord ...

niecy can't wait to read some more all God has in store I dont have me niece she in heaven but I thank God gave me another ...

luv yaaa poe and very proud of ya in de Lord and soooo is Heeeeeeee!!!!
Your humor and life here has been a blessing to many and ur steps will be a blessing to even sooo many many more ...

God just beginning in you... woop! *harp*

I say this calls for the Glomp Master to get Glomped *Glomped*

by **Poefenjaf** » Wed Jun 10, 2009 1:10 am

DO NOT READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE DETAILS

Day 4

For the record ... I HATE gardening!! Ugh!

Ok So I have pulled those weeds of unforgiveness against others a long time ago - and I can HONESTLY say that. My aunt, my grandpa, my dad, the guys who raped me, the guy who I was engaged to and I found out he was marrying someone else ... I have let them go. But I have realised that there were feelings that were created by each situation with some of these that I CHOSE to hang on to - and those are the ones I am going to share here today.

Why share them publicly? Because I am tired of hiding things in the dark. If you can't handle details, I would ask you not to continue reading.

My list of lies

1. My aunt always told me that I was ugly and useless and fat and all that and I may as well be a boy. My lie to myself was that because of how others see me, I don't have to look after myself, so I MADE myself ugly. I wore baggy clothes, never wore dresses, ate what I wanted and didn't care if I picked up weight. I made MYSELF sexless. I pull this weed out.

2. The first guy who raped me said that his girlfriend wouldn't give him sex, and that by him "taking" it from me was my duty to fulfill as his best friend. My lie to myself was that I would have to do whatever any man asked me to do because it was my duty ... so that's what I did. I pull this weed out.

3. The guy who I was engaged to said that the reason he found someone else and still kept me "around" was because I was someone who would do anything to keep a man happy and that was convenient for him. My lie to myself was that I have to be a doormat in order not to lose someone's attention. I pull this weed out.

4. The second guy who raped me said that he couldn't find any pleasure in my body and that because of how I looked and how unresponsive I was, he couldn't ... uhm ... orgasm (I told you I would share details) meant that I was useless in bed and no man would ever find pleasure in me. My lie to myself was: No man would ever want me and no man would ever find any kind of pleasure in my body, so don't even try to think you could be desirable to the right man. I pull this weed out.

5. I lost the baby (naturally and not through abortion) that came out of the first rape. My lie to myself was that the baby died because I didn't want it and it was my fault and that I don't deserve to ever be a mother. I pull this weed out.

6. I have always been disappointed and hurt and put down by men in my life. My lie to myself was that all men are the same and I will never find one who will not hurt me and I will NEVER trust any man. I pull this weed out.

Now I have dirt under my nails

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