Christianity Oasis Forum

[Mackenaw]

01/16/09 1:07 AM (Friday)

I just woke up about 12:15 AM after crashing a little after 8 pm. I found this awesome Crew Journal area, and am feeling so appreciative. This has deeper meaning to me than I'll ever be able to explain, I'm so glad God knows my innermost thoughts and yes, those feelings, the lump in throat ones.

My mind is reeling (I wonder if I spelled that right???) I dreamed of prisms and how vision/seeing works -- in the natural. It all felt like a science lesson, and science was not my best subject. I'm a little confused by it. I tried to google stuff about prisms and prism principles, but only got more confused. So, I'll just have to wait for Him to explain it to me.

Seems I'm waiting for His understanding on numerous topics, lately. Maybe it's the excessively cold and yucky weather -- I've got brain freeze maybe. The current temperature is 7, with a windchill temp of -12. That's just too cold for anything. The wind sounds like a train jumped track and is coming down our street.

Wow, I'm still overwhelmed with emotion...


01/16/09 1:56 AM (Friday)
Notes on dream: eyes seeing, then those 2 cone-shaped, showing how the eye sees -- gosh this is so hard to put in words. like two megaphones butted up to one another at the smallest ends. Yet, where they meet -- there was this axle??? something, and it spinned/spun but it was the Eye, so then the two megaphone shaped spinned/spun? and at the outer/bigger ends they were the wheels. But yet it all had to do with what I see, and how my eyes see what He sees, also communicates.

kept seeing the cone/megaphone shapes like how sight is projected or line of vision.

All the other dreams of the eyeballs since Dec. 5th were easier, I felt like I was an observer in those, plus they were cool and pretty. But this one has me thinking too hard, but at least I saw the wheels tonight. Thank You Lord.

[Mackenaw]

01/16/09 Friday 5:57 PM

It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log.

The Beatles came on the scene here in the states when I was in 3rd/4th grade. Three of my sisters and I lived with my dad in a small 2-bedroom apartment. The 4 of us girls squeezed into 1 bedroom -- 2 full sized beds, 2 dressers, and a HUGE old time radio. We had the radio on all night, and we slept to the songs of The Beatles. Thank goodness for the walk-in closet, because there was no floor room to stand and dress -- we used the walk-in closet for that.

I could have used their company last night, or throughout the wee hours. Goofy laughter would have been an awesome distraction. Too many thoughts, too many emotions, too many tears, and too much headache.

Weird that the memories of getting on my bicycle and riding like the wind while holding my tiny transistor radio that had great AM sounds to my ear, come to mind. She was trying to escape fear.

The taunts are loud and obnoxious. Made you flinch, made you flinch.

R. Pearce comes to mind. Why? He was a boy in elementary school, who was so odd. For some reason he used to knock me down -- yep, he would come running out of no where and with a full body slam would knock me to the ground. He wasn't a real bad kid, just a little odd. Some suggested he had a crush on me. Weird!!! I had my fill of being knocked to the ground. One day I saw him coming, running full-speed right at me, I stood feet girded, ready. He hit me and bounced off and fell to the ground. I didn't. He never tried that again. I wonder what ever became of that odd little freckled faced boy? Wonder why I'm thinking of him? Wonder why I'm thinking of any of this?

Yea, I know why -- I just need to keep waiting, patiently. My flesh wants to say something that Tommy DeVito/Joe Pesci may have said in the movie, "Goodfellas" but I know if I did, then I'd feel badly that I said it, and then I would repent, and I'd be forgiven, and I'd still be waiting for what He wants. So I'll wait. It would be nice though, if I had just one day free from hearing that stuff; especially from those who learned to whisper in a wind storm. I can hear you!!!

It is the night. My body's weak.
I'm on the run. No time to sleep.
I've got to ride.
Ride like the wind to be free again.

Thank You Lord.

[Mackenaw]

01/17/09 Saturday 4:11 AM

Well I slept for 3 hours, now I'm wide awake -- so I've been reading Revelation and through scripture references, The Holy Spirit has guided me to a number of different books of The Bible, and here I am in Lamentations. I don't know that I've read that much of Lamentations. It's sad; thus, the name of the book.

lament: to feel or express sorrow for; bewail. To feel or express sorrow; mourn; grieve. The expression of grief; lamentation. a plaintive song or melody.

I was reading from an Amplified Bible. Chapter 5 is a prayer. The author of Lamentations is believed to be Jeremiah. He cries out to God for the destruction of Jerusalem for the people, for the terror and the physical and mental pain they are all going through, for the separation from God that they all feel, but know is because of their own doing. They bowed to their sinful natures, again.

I not only see this same thing in myself, but in others. It's so very sad. But what is so wonderful and sustains me is The Holy Spirit. God and Jesus sent Him to talk to me, to walk with me, and to comfort me, to teach me, to remind me of all that God is and what Jesus did. Thank You Lord.

So many still need that comfort I find in Him. Lord, do they hear You through me? i pray they do. Your Word has no limits.

There was a time I hesitated to share Your Word. I was scared. I no longer am. Thank You God. Thank You Jesus. Thank You Holy Spirit.

"Secret Love"
Once I had a secret love
That lived within the heart of me
All too soon my secret love
Became impatient to be free

So I told a friendly star
The way that dreamers often do
Just how wonderful you are
And why I'm so in love with you

Now I shout it from the highest hills
Even told the golden daffodils
At last my heart's an open door
And my secret love's no secret anymore

[Mackenaw]

01/18/09 Sunday 4:32 PM

Revelation 8:1 And when He had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour.

Ever since I started studying the End Times, this scripture has intrigued me. It's right after the church has been raptured. Then there is a silence in heaven for 1/2 hour.

In Revelation 6:1 And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see.

In Revelation 4:8 And the four beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within: and they rest not day and night, saying Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come.

So up to the opening of the 7th Seal, there's quite a lot of activity going on in Heaven, and the noise thereof is pretty astounding. Praise going on non-stop. But suddenly it becomes silent.

Awe. Total and complete Awe for Almighty God. I've had tiny glimpses of this awe, and yes, I was silent, almost couldn't breathe, nor really wanted to -- I was just there in His presence -- as much presence that this tired old body could withstand at that moment.

I get chills just thinking about it. Imagine the church has arrived and is in the presence of God Almighty.

Moses experienced it, when God hid him in the cleft of the mountain, and He held His hand over him to deflect His glory from totally burning him up. Moses was only able to witness God's exhausts, if you will, because anything more would have been too much for his body to endure. Wow, God's Glory. Awe.

While I was thinking about this scripture, again today, The Holy Spirit reminded me of 11/17/62. I had just started 3rd grade. My dad took my younger sister and I to Dulles Airport in Virginia. We lived about 12 miles from there. President Kennedy was going to give the dedication speech. This whole thing was not something we would normally do. It was so out of character for my dad to embark on such a journey, much less to include his 6 and 8 year old daughters -- his 2 youngest, at the time. So amazing.

We wandered through the crowd, which was so overwhelming to both my sister and me. I don't know that we had ever been in such a huge crowd before. We waited for a long while. All I could really see were elbows. There were voices coming over loud speakers. I couldn't really understand what they were talking about. Daddy seemed different. I watched him, he seemed strangely excited, but I didn't recognize the energy coming out of him. Suddenly he hoisted me up in his arms, holding me under my armpits so I could see over top the people. He kept asking, "do you see him?" I didn't know who "him" was? My eyes darted everywhere. I didn't want to disappoint him, but I didn't know who to look at. Then I heard daddy say, that's the President of the United States talking." To be honest, I don't really think I knew what that meant either, but I could tell it was special. Then daddy hoisted my sister up so she could see, but the crowd was scaring her and she cried. I almost did, but didn't because I knew this was so special to daddy, even though I didn't understand it.

Suddenly he was whisking us away, almost at a run we were heading to the parking lot to find our car. He didn't want to get tangled up in the traffic. Again, this sorta scared me, because I didn't know what that all entailed, but it sounded frightening. We were half speed-walking and half running along one of the side walls of the airport when all of a sudden the most horrifically loud sounds I'd ever heard just exploded into the atmosphere. The three of us dropped to our knees and daddy held us both as tightly as he could. It seemed like we were huddled on the ground for quite a while, when suddenly daddy is back on his feet pointing up in the sky, saying "look at that jet!" I think we both looked, but not knowing what a jet was, and still being breathless from what had all taken place, we both remained completely silent. Daddy stared into the sky, he was in awe. I don't know that I had ever seen that look on his face before. The drive home was quiet. My sister and I were kinda numb. Daddy seemed to be deep in thought.

My dad was a Christian. As the years past, I saw that look on his face frequently. I felt that energy emanating from him. I used to wonder what he was thinking about. Now, I know. He was given tiny glimpses of His glory. Once you experience it, you can't forget it.

Awwwwwww daddy, I'm in awe of Him too.

[Mackenaw]

01/21/09 12:47 PM Wednesday

The sun is shining, the sun is shining, the sun is shining!!!



Thank You Lord.

[Mackenaw]

A song that He has me singing.

I wasn't a Frank Sinatra fan, per say, so kinda funny this song has been in and out of my thoughts the last couple days.

"That's Life" written by D. K. Thompson, K. Gordon

[Recorded October 18, 1966, Hollywood] performed by Frank Sinatra

That's life (that's life), that's what all the people say
You're ridin' high in April, shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune
When I'm back on top, back on top in June

I said that's life (that's life), and as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks stompin' on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down
'cause this old world, it keeps spinnin' around

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king
I've been up and down and over and out and I know one thing
Each time I find myself flat on my face
I pick myself up and get back in the race

That's life (that's life), I tell you I can't deny it
I thought of quitting, baby, but my heart just ain't gonna buy it
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king
I've been up and down and over and out and I know one thing
Each time I find myself layin' flat on my face
I just pick myself up and get back in the race

That's life (that's life), that's life and I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cuttin' out but my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothin' shakin' come this here July
I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball a-and die (to self )

My, my!

[Mackenaw]

01/25/09 Sunday 12:49 AM

It's been a very different walk for me for several weeks now. Lots of unfamiliar ground, yet at the same time, almost too familiar. Seems I have more questions that I'm awaiting answers to than anything else. But along this stretch of my walk, there are lots of lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Maybe it's the weather??? It has really been so very cold and cabin fever seems to have set in. The natives are restless, and they are starting to really get under my skin. Not quite sure how we're going to pay for the heating costs, the furnace seems to be running almost non-stop, but we still have to wear 3 or 4 layers of clothing inside. If I tried to put on anymore layers, I'd be like that kid in that Christmas movie, the one where his mother bundles him up so much he can't put his arms down. I remind myself that The Lord led us here nearly 17 years ago, so until He says go somewhere else, here we'll maintain. The summers are wonderful. So I think on summer when the cold starts getting to me.

Being thankful and having a grateful heart makes a huge difference in my walk. I've always gravitated to comfort. But, as the years wore on, I became too comfortable -- these weird little compulsive or obsession thingies manifested. It seemed to worsen in me after my parents moved in 5 1/2 years ago. Thank You Lord that you've shown me these things and helped me to overcome them.

My parents are older and very set in their ways. The more frail and health challenged they become, the more fears and obsessions manifest. They hoard things. It is so very sad to watch.

Most people regard their home as their haven, the one place where they can let loose and be the king or queen of their domain. A safe place, where they can close the door to outside opinions and not feel as if they are being judged on what and when or how they do things within the confines of their own home. This is no longer the case with my hubby and me -- it's been a long 5 1/2 years. I sometimes mourn the loss of that safe haven. But I am reminded that Jesus had no where to lay His head during His ministry. I am also reminded that this is part of my ministry/calling -- my ministry/calling given me by Almighty God. He has empowered me with blessed fruit and with blessed giftings to do. He has gifted my hubby as well. Awwwwww, he is my hero. Hubby is so patient and kind and patient and kind and patient and kind. Thank You Jesus.

Sometimes I don't want to take on people that want to vent. I hear venting all day long from various people. I used to go into Chat to frolic. I frolic better when it's warm outside and I have seen the sunshine, and the house has been open to fresh air and to the sounds of summer: birds and bees and flowers and trees, and my doggies rolling on their backs in the yard as if they are in pure ecstacy. LOL I love when dogs do that. The sun seldom shines here in the winter, that ole gray haze coming down out of Canada blankets the sky. But I dare not speak that aloud, it would be yet another opener to the disquieted and disgruntled ones. Shhhhhhh.

Things are different now. I'm different now. I used to talk aloud, a lot -- probably too much. Not very much anymore. I do mourn my losses sometimes. Looks odd to type that. Oh well, I'm odd, so why not type oddly. Only a few people know me, less than a handful. More are acquainted with my faith, but yet they have no clue who I am. I'm not sure I know who I am anymore. I still have opinions, and feelings and I still get hurt and I cry. But in order to heal, I connect spirit to Spirit and I let Him speak. Yes, God speaks through me -- even though it comes out sounding a little redneck and a little whiney and sometimes a little convicting, it's Him. The me that most don't know, I'm a peace keeper -- I don't like conflict, unless I'm ticked...then that's another story. But, I seldom get ticked anymore, and when I do, it is very short lived because I never want to return to that place I lived for most of my life. In other words, The Holy Spirit convicts me quickly, and I promptly repent.

I have to take a break.

[Mackenaw]

01/25/09 3:28 A.M. -- continued from a few hours ago.

She's back.

I do like this journal thing. Sometimes thoughts fly around in my head, but because I'm not voicing them aloud, sometimes I actually forget them. Sorta like a grocery list. Just because I forget to buy something, doesn't mean I didn't need it. Well same goes with some thoughts, just because I forgot them, doesn't mean they had no value and they didn't need to be addressed. Here I can write them down, and it's a reminder of things to address with God.

The End Times -- ever present on my mind. He placed it there. I know that the trials I endure daily, even here in my home, is/are in preparation for The End Times. Oh yes, I benefit now also, and anyone with whom I come in contact -- Everything is better with God -- past, present and future. I know I've been called to teach. Well, you can't teach unless you have people who want to be taught. I love to learn, gosh I crave knowing more about Him. I crave Him. I am somewhat confounded by the anger that people carry around in their spirit. He has a reason for allowing me to feel/sense/discern their angry spirit, but I haven't quite figured out how to combine these two: feeling their angry spirit and teaching them. I understand that most that display this anger that it is a symptom of a hidden fear, and I pray for them because I know the depths of fear and it's insidiousness. This past year I had the opportunity to teach The End Times to 3 other women from our church. We made it through, but not without some real struggles. God is and was good to help us when we struggle with the Truth of His Word, if we'll just submit ourselves unto Him.

I remember my first time through the End Times study here on C.O. site. I felt scared and yes, anger did raise it's ugly little head a couple of times. The one time I remember kinda getting angry when I realized that if I am left behind -- which I believe I will be -- that I won't get a new body. Seems almost laughable now, but it really struck me hard, initially. But I was then reminded of His Word and His Will, and His peace, once again, found place in me.

Do I ever get nervous when I think about The End Times...yes. Do I wonder if I'll be able to overcome...yes. I know what a wimp I can be. But I know Who He is. I put my faith in Him. I believe Him. He says He will never leave me nor forsake me. But, yes I do wonder about me, will I hold up under torture, if there is any? Will I totally lose it if I'm in a cave with a bunch of whiners and complainers? Will I be one of the whiners and complainers? Recently, I was very, very, very ill. Probably sicker than I've ever been, and it started in mid October and lasted until just a few weeks ago. Up until December 7th I was able to keep a positive and hopeful outlook, and my faith was strong. I knew He was going to heal me, straight out -- no doubts. But December 7th it turned into a nightmare. I couldn't breathe and fear started to take over. I finally went to the doctors, and on the way to the Dr., which is less than 10 minutes away, I sorta had a melt down in the car. I couldn't breathe, and I had borrowed a ski jacket from my mom, because I do not have a coat, and the arms of it are too tight to fit over all the layers I have to wear in this frigid cold, so I felt like I couldn't move, and I lost it. The heat was on high in the car and it felt like a high-powered torch was blowing in my face, and I swore and I cried and I think I may have screamed. Sounds stupid now, but the fact is...I caved. What was holding me down? a seatbelt and a ski jacket. No monster, no demon, no satan...a seatbelt and a ski jacket. I couldn't breathe, or could I and it just felt that way? I didn't die, so it just felt that way. I caved from an imagined foe. What am I gonna do in the thick of things, when the enemy is right there in front of me and possibly torturing my loved ones or me? I doubt the "f" bomb word is gonna deter him.

Therefore, I feed myself His Word. I want to be in His will. I love Him. The Sword, God's Word, Jesus is my hope, my prayer, my faith, my love. Thank You Jesus.

[Mackenaw]

02/01/09 Sunday 3:24pm

The song today is:

"Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory" Hymn

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord;
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored;
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword;
His truth is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! His truth is marching on.

I have seen Him in the watch fires of a hundred circling camps
They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and damps;
I can read His righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps;
His day is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! His day is marching on.

I have read a fiery Gospel writ in burnished rows of steel;
As ye deal with My contemners, so with you My grace shall deal

[Mackenaw]

02/03/09 2:13 AM Tuesday

The last two days have been beautiful with bright sunshine and temperatures rising above freezing. I so enjoy the sunshine, and am enjoying these more manageable temperatures too; although, we have experienced a little challenge -- a roof ice dam, eeeuuuwwww!

Due to the amount of snow and ice and consistent temperatures below freezing, what can come with a daytime thaw is a situation where the snow melts higher up on the roof and flows down but gets caught behind a buildup of ice in the gutters and on the edges of the roof forcing the water to pool behind it, and water finds a new way to flow -- behind the gutters, under eves, under trim, under shingles and into the house. We've only experienced damage inside the house on a couple occasions over the last 17 years, but this is the first year it happened since my parents moved in with us 5 1/2 years ago. Unfortunately the water came through in the ceiling and walls of their bedroom -- the only bedroom downstairs. Sometimes the impact on the human condition can be harder to bear than the actual problem. (hearing Kenny Rogers singing a Mickey Newbury song "Just Dropped To See What Condition My Condition Was in") So prayers and a bucket will get us through until the Spring when repairs can be made. Their fears were somewhat lessened when it was confirmed that some of our neighbors were experiencing this same phenomenon. I am hoping and praying that seeing the water stain on the ceiling and wall doesn't cause them too much sleep loss.

It's been a lovely couple days. The Holy Spirit and I have been enjoying lots of music together. I also enjoyed Sunday night's COOL Church message. He and I had been talking about being doubled-minded so when the message at COOL Church included the subject of being doubled minded, and also the scripture in Revelation about being lukewarm, woooooohoooooo! At that very moment a lyric from the song "Hot, Hot, Hot" came into my mind. I called out to my husband asking/singing him who sang that song "Hot, Hot, Hot" ? He answered Buster Poindexter. I waited until the wee hours of Monday morning to look up the lyrics. Today I played the song for him -- he now says he can't get that song out of his head. Several times throughout the day and evening one or both of us could be heard singing... Hot, Hot, Hot, ole, ole, ole, ole, Hot, Hot, Hot. Me mind on fire -- Me soul on fire -- Feeling hot hot hot....Keep up this spirit -- Come on let's do it -- Feeling hot hot hot.

I also found out that the song was written in 1982 by a musician named Arrow -- who also recorded it successfully -- a big salsa and merenge (sp???) dance following. But Buster Poindexter recorded it in 1987 -- I think it's his version I remember hearing when it was planted in my subconscious. I love that The Holy Spirit searches out my whole mind and tells me which things need to go, and which things can stay and play. Wooooohoooooo!

Hubby enjoyed watching the Superbowl game. I watched a few moments of the half-time show, Bruce Springstein, with him. Bruce needs to be careful, he was running and jumping like a youngin'-- he could have blown a knee. After all, it was the Superbowl. I think Pittsburgh won, but not sure.

For about a week now, we've had very low water pressure -- there was a water main break under the street just a few houses down from us. They tried to fix it last week, but the temperatures were so frigid, and with all the snow and all -- they were unable to get it repaired until today. Yeah!!! we now have full water pressure. Thank You Lord. God bless those men who do that type of work in these frigid temperatures.

My hubby continues to bless me and he has worked so hard these last couple weeks keeping the driveways (ours and neighbors), sidewalks and steps cleared of snow. Thank You Lord we bought the snowblower a few years back, this winter has been brutal, and there's 2 more months to go. Hubby has been driving my dad to his dialysis 3 times a week since the snow has been too risky for my dad to drive himself. The hospital is only 2 blocks away, but after parking the car -- the walk from parking lot to hospital is the challenge, so hubby drives him and drops him off at the front door and returns 4 hours later to bring him back home.

A friend shared a beautiful song with me today. Awwwwww so sweet.

I feel very blessed and am grateful for what I have been given. Thank You Lord.

[Mackenaw]

02/11/09 6:23 PM Wednesday

The Holy Spirit has been showing me some interesting things over the last several days. Actually He started showing me this last year, but He showed me it as an extension -- or that it covers more than I had anticipated. It all has to do with emotions.

I remember as a young child, if I didn't feel well, if someone like one of my sisters or my mom or dad came in I would start crying. I've heard others remark about this phenom too -- what is that? What is it about getting sympathy or a loving shoulder that turns what seemed like a emotionally manageable event into a blubbering of tears? Hmmmm?

Last Fall I experienced it too. I was at Bible Study with 3 other women from our local church, and one of them asked if we had any prayer concerns, and when it was my turn to share -- as I shared -- I began blubbering. I even thought to myself, geez why am I crying? The 3 ladies were so sweet and comforting.

When I got home I remember telling hubby about it -- and saying, I have no idea why I started crying. I didn't feel upset prior to sharing. We talked about it a little and hubby suggested that possibly that the outpouring of concern and sympathy from them reminded me of my own blood sisters when we were younger and when they would come to my rescue and let me vent and cry and their hugs and reassuring way made me feel loved. I couldn't totally disagree with him -- it sounded reasonable -- but it still was rather interesting to me. Plus, I had started crying before they started comforting me -- so was it for attention? was it habit? what in the world was it? I didn't feel like I was needing comforting, I was just lifting up my parents -- but it ended up being more about me. I knew I didn't like that. It felt kinda gross the more I thought about it. So I asked The Holy Spirit to help me be conscious of any ungodly tendencies I might have in that area. The last thing I want is to be dishonest or a drama queen at any time, and especially when I might be sharing or asking for prayer or anything having to do with God.

So over the last year, I started noticing that it was connected to actually speaking out loud. It seldom happened when I typed about something, it was when I spoke. I kept asking Him -- what is that?

I cry a lot when it is about God. He just blows me away, and if I am sharing/telling something that The Holy Spirit revealed to me with my husband or another person (in person) -- yep, sometimes I have to take very deep breaths and I get so choked up I can hardly speak. But it truly is not for effect -- it's genuine. I used to be concerned that it would take the focus off the message and put it on me, but The Holy Spirit told me to let it go, so I did.

Throughout this weekend's scare with hubby's health, I was conscious of not crying. I felt empowered. Anytime I would start feeling overwhelmed or scared I would immediately just give it to God and ask The Holy Spirit to give me peace, and He did, immediately. It was only when I would have to speak aloud to someone else, that I'd get the cramp in my throat and the tears would well up. I didn't want that to happen. For the most part I'd be able to recover, almost instantly, because I would ask God to help me.

So, I'm still asking -- what is that? what is it about speaking out loud that seems to release a rush of emotions -- even when I don't feel overwhelmed on the surface? Is it the fact that I'm hearing it? naaah, because it would be just as I was opening my mouth. I find that weird. I was able to control my tears when I called my daughter, because I didn't want to get her upset -- knowing she had to drive an hour to get here. I think I was almost singing -- I could hear my voice, and it had a higher pitch than usual, and rather sing-songy. Weird, just plain weird. Maybe it's a breathing thing. Like when people who have a stuttering problem, if they think in a rhythm as they speak, they don't stutter??? I don't know.

Well, I sorta know -- it does have something to do with what we allow in and out. I've learned how we are to take every thought captive and if it doesn't line up with God's Word, then hit the eject button. So, if I am speaking something that the outcome is still an unknown or the something sounds kinda scary -- I am in essence giving it some type of homage and releasing power to it's cause.

I'm gonna continue to meditate on this one.

Thank You Holy Spirit.

[Mackenaw]

02/13/09 2:22 AM Friday

Had such a wonderful time PM conversing back and forth with Ljd today. We were discussing the crying phenomena and the power of spoken words -- whether ours or His. God has truly blessed me through her, on so many different levels the last few days.

We had extremely high winds, apparently wind gusts were reported at the little airport here at 67 miles per hour Thursday morning. Trying to sleep was a challenge because of the roaring of the wind. It sounded like a train was coming down our street. This type of event is even more challenging to my parents -- their fears really come out and their fear that neighbors' trees are going to fall on our house attempts to set the tone. It didn't help when around 8:30pm Thursday that the wind blew out the glass of our attic window. It looks like the entire piece of glass just fell out and down onto our front porch's metal roof, shattering it in a zillion pieces. I decided it was best to retreat to bed at 9pm to hunker down with God, because my own spirit was starting to react negatively to my parents' spirits of fear. I could feel myself starting to get angry at them. I slept for 4 hours, then came here. The wind has subsided, and now everyone else is in bed. Yeah, thank You Lord.

It really is a challenge, sometimes, to follow God's instructions. However, thanks to Him, it is so much easier than it used to be. The temptations still arise, just like clockwork, but so does The Holy Spirit. Woooooohoooooo!

I often think about Moses when he was leading the Israelites out of Egypt and on the journey to the promise land. I remember reading when he would cry out to God because of the people's grumblings and their self absorbed attitudes to the point of putting themselves and others in harms way, not to mention in the path of God's wrath. I think about it especially when I get into End Times mode. There are going to be so many that are going to be the same way. They are gonna plop themselves down in a heap of hysteria and expect others to drag them to safety, all the while screaming and crying. Will time allow for pacifying the pandering and manipulative hysteria? Will He tell me to yell at them? Will that be a time to apply Jude 23: And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh. OR Zechariah 3:3-5 Now Joshua was clothed with filthy garments, and stood before the angel. (4) And He answered and spake unto those that stood before Him, saying, Take away the filthy garments from him. And unto him He said, Behold, I have caused thine iniquity to pass from thee, and I will clothe thee with change of raiment. (5) And I said, Let them set a fair mitre upon his head. So they set a fair mitre upon his head, and clothed him with garments. And the angel of the Lord stood by.

Yes, the power of the spoken word. He will give the perfect word in that instance.

Oh cool, this reminds me of Nehemiah. Awwwww, I remember when I followed along with a Beth Moore teaching on Nehemiah a couple years ago -- it gave me chills. Nehemiah 8:5-8 (5) And Ezra opened the book in the sight of all the people; (for he was above all the people;) and when he opened it, all the people stood up: (6) And Ezra blessed the Lord, the great God. And all the people answered, Amen, Amen, with lifting up their hands: and they bowed their heads, and worshipped the Lord with their faces to the ground. (7) Also Jeshua, and Bani, and Sherebiah, Jamin, Akkub, Shabbethai, Hodijah, Maaseiah, Kelita, Azariah, Jozabad, Hanan, Pelaiah and the Levites, caused the people to understand the law: and the people stood in their place. (8)So they read in the book in the law of God distinctly, and gave the sense, and caused them to understand the reading.

Yes, the power of the spoken Word. Awesome!!!

Hmmmm, I may need an Aaron, because I'll probably be blubbering as soon as I start speaking His Word aloud. Maybe He is telling me to practice speaking it out loud more, because I doubt I'm gonna have my laptop handy.

Ohhhhhhh, this is too good. wooooooohoooooo!

Thank You Lord.