I Talked to My Son

[Sylvia]

My oldest son is preparing to go to his friends funeral. His friend died of a drug overdose last Friday.
He called me today and told me all of his friends will be at the funeral.
I got brave (maybe from talking last night in Overcoming the World)
and told him the problem was all his friends are either drug addicts, alcoholics or both. He doesn't hang around anyone that isn't.
I told him that he and his friends should use this funeral as a wake up call to straighten out their lives.
He kept trying to stop me from talking. He didn't yell at me but kept interrupting me and telling me "I know, I know Mom, you don't have to talk about it."
I told him that when his little girl kept opening my front door this past weekend and yelling for Daddy I had visions of him not being there any more. He has lost four or five friends from drugs.
He kept interrupting me and telling me I did not need to talk about it. He knew, He knew.
But it felt good for me to say it. I have too long walked on egg shells around him. Not wanting a fight.
Thanks to all who continue to help me.
GBU
Sylvia

[realtmg]

Sylvia,
The truth is always best. And I will add that is is good to not hold our feelings in and learn to be assertive as you did with your son. This is why i keep telling people to share their feelings and whats going on with them instead of holding it in or being ashamed.
I have had a very hard time learning how to express myself. I always kept things bottled up inside and the result was usually an explosion.
Just wanted to say I'm proud you spoke your peace and I see you feel better by it. When it comes to helping others, we can only do so much, then we have to turn it over to our lord and let Him take over.
I know you stay concerned as i know of many others here who have family with problems with addictions. Keep taking care of Sylvia and continuing praying. Mt people kept praying for me for 20 years and I finally saw the Light and began to do something about my problem. my problem was ME.
Thanks for sharing sis and the Master knows and will answer our prayers.
God Bless you!


luv ya,


Real

[goldieluvs]

Awesome Sylvia.. dont hide the truth from him.. am keeping u both in my prayers and who knows? maybe once he has time to really stop and think about it, he will realize the issue and get the help he needs. In the meantime.. stay strong sis and keep praying... GBU Goldie

[Sylvia]

I took my son to a doctors appointment today. He got honest with me and told me that he was back doing heroin again. He said the weekend he found out his friend died he went out and drank, popped pills and then did heroin. He ended up in the emergency room. He overdosed. They had to resuscitate
him. He almost died. I never knew about this until today.
Now he wants me to drive him to a methadone place every day (he doesn't drive) I don't know what I am getting myself into. I told him he will have to call me and tell me he is ready to go, I am not going to call and try to wake him up to see if he is going. What if I am sick and can't take him?
I have so many thoughts going through my head. He sees his daughter through me. I need you all to pray for him and me. I need guidance to know how to handle all this again.
Thank you
Sylvia

[rmarie]

I have no idea what it is like to have a child with a drug issue. I am a child myself, but I want you to know something, Sylvia. What you said to him was the right thing. He needed to hear what his mother thought. He may interupt you, but he will look back at a later day and realize what you said was the truth, that he needs to get away from these bad influences. Just let him know that you are there.

[mlg]

Sylvia sis, drugs are one of the deadliest tools that Satan carries sis. I have seen what drugs do to people. It is so very frightening, as well as saddening. Your son is finally reaching out for help. Sis give him that help. It's not often you will here a drug addict say, I'm ready to go, and I want to get my life together. Most will fight the opportunity to get away from the drugs, because the craving is stronger than the fight.

Sis I am praying for you and your son. Lean on God through this. He has opened a door. Cease the chance, because your chance is a Blessing to see a LIFE saved.

luv ya sylvia and I'm praying sis, and praying some more

[Sylvia]

Thank you for your comments.
I talked to someone at church that used to be a drug counselor years ago.
He basically told me to "right him off". That was the tough love thing to do.
He said there wasn't any hope for heroin addicts.
After that I picked up my son to go to the Methadone clinic. I was so down but tried not to let it show.
I got a different story there. He will be under a doctors care. With counseling and things to attend.
I watched a video on how methadone works and why my son just cannot stop cold turkey. They said that what the guy from church told me was the old way of dealing with drug addicts. They said that research has changed how they deal with addicts now. They told me that opiates changes brain cells.
I have a better understanding now. Another thing is my son really opened up to me on the way home. He told me he cannot go 24 hours without doing it.
Now I know why he acted the way he did when he stayed overnight here to see his daughter. Things are starting to make sense now.
I thank you for your prayers. I felt them today. I wanted to tell you all that. God's hand is in this.
Luv you all
Sylvia

[mlg]

Amen sylvia, God's hand is in this. He is opening your eyes so you can help your son. Have you ever wondered why you are the one carrying your son back and forth to the clinic? Well sis, I say God has a reason you are there. A reason you are learning about your sons problems, and what it's going to take to see him well again. I pray that you keep that openess with your son. You are helping your son more than you know, by him being able to tell you about what he is going through in his addiction. He sounds like he really wants to stop. One of the key things is to help surround him with good Christian people. Taking him out of the loop with his "friends" is going to play a big part in all of this. I speak to you from experience sis, as my ex did drugs for many many years.

Praying for you and your son.

luv ya

[follower_of_Jesus]

I'm not sure a methadone clinic will work for him sylvia, most people just end up using the meth clinic as an advantage as to when they can't get their heroine they know they still have the methadone to rely on.

If he is really ready to let go and get some real help I suggest a 30 day program in a drug rehab then 3 to 6 months in a residential halfway recovery house where he will get the proper needs for him. you may want to look into the portsmouth pavilion for starters if nothing else they may be able to guide you in the right direction.

you and your son and your whole family will be in my prayers sister sylvia

[Sylvia]

Thank you Follower for your comments. I always appreciate what you have to say. I learn a lot from your posts in Real Solutions.
But I do definitely know that God has lead me and my son to the Methadone clinic. It is very carefully monitored and we are going today to have blood work done.
My son and I are talking more then we have since he was eighteen and now he is thirty-one. We talk every day when I drive him back and forth to the clinic. What mlg1279 said is very true. God is using this opportunity and it was no accident. I see God's hand in it.
Thank you for your prayers.
GBU
Sylvia

[Show Forth the Praises]

I commend your words and actions toward your son.

God will answer your prayers with regard to your son.

You are a kind, caring, compassionate Christian Mom.

My older brother committed suicide when he was 20 and I was 9, from a drug overdose. Amongst other things, he mainlined heroin.

I'd ask my brother why he had all the "little blue pictures" (tattoos) covering his arms. He would reply that they were to "hide the needle marks from the cops, little sister."

Based on my older brother's example and tragic death, I decided at a very young age I would NEVER use illicit street drugs.

I always felt that life was HARD ENOUGH without drugs.

Be encouraged and strengthened in our Lord, Sylvia.

Your sister in Christ----

PAMELA

[Sylvia]

Thanks to everyone who has responded. Thank you for your prayers.
This past weekend was amazing. My son saw his daughter at my house and took her to the park, out to lunch, bike riding.. he was a different Daddy.
He was doing and feeling so great.
Then yesterday his blood work came back and showed he has Hepatitis C.
He had been treated for it 5 years ago but now it is back. He is going to have to do the treatment again.
But there are praises through the storm. The methadone clinic is sending him to this specialist who is able to get the treatment and his methadone for free.
He is not working. The last time he did the treatment he was sick to his stomach a lot. I don't know if he will be able to work. My hubby said he can't move in here. But my son has a room that is for rent through a lady who is about my age. She kicked heroin years ago and wants to help my son.
God brought her into my sons life for a reason. She is an encouragement to my son to get and stay clean.
So I see God's hand in all this. My son said he might start coming to church again. I don't know if that was just talk to please me or not but I am going to remind him he said it come Sunday.
thank you and GBU all
Luv
Sylvia