Christianity Oasis Forum

[Rabinantha]

I started the dissolution paperwork today. I want to get a head start on the situation because I know sometimes the person who files first gets the upper hand. I'm asking for prayer still for finances and housing. Also for us to agree on custody and childsupport. I was told today that in my situation with him being the sole provider that he should be ordered to pay at least $300 a month alimony. And I figured out his childsupport payment according to our state law and his income should be $387. I think both of these amounts are too high, but my husband wants to pay $100 childsupport and $150 alimony but only for 3 months. I think these are too low. I need prayers about all of this. And tomorrow morning I'm going to start looking for a job so please pray about that too. I haven't worked for over 2 years now and I have some physical problems that keep me from standing on my feet for long periods of time so I need a job that I can actually do. Please pray for God to open doors for me. I can't do this without Him.

[dema]

Did you get a lawyer? You need a lawyer. I don't know if you have the $1500 or so to get one, but the courts can order your husband to pay. Also, the first visit is usually free. They will answer a lot of your questions.

You should NOT, NOT make an agreement yourself with your husband. He should pay what the courts say he should pay. It is a formula for a reason. The courts have spent countless hours trying to come up with something fair. Have you paid a bill? Do you know what rent costs?

Also, you can go to various agencies and get a variety of help in many situations. This includes subsidized child care. You probably won't have to pay anything. But you will need to interview the various providers. There are many many - here in a medium sized town there are hundreds. Some are people in their home, some are in churches, some are more traditional. There is a sliding scale and minimum wage people - people making up to probably $14 an hour don't have to pay anything for the child care.

There is a also WIC - this is women, infants and children I believe. It is a food program that provides fresh fruits and other food. They give coupons that can be used like money in farmer's markets and other places. It is quite different from food stamps.

[Rabinantha]

No, I don't have any money at all. We are already on wic, and as far as the child care I already looked into it. There are two actual daycares here that take state child care and I would only have to pay a 15$ copay a month. The problem is that as long as he is living with me, the state won't help me. I went there yesterday. I will look into lawyers because even though I have no money, God works miracles so I'm not giving up. And yes I know what bills cost; he makes the money but I actually pay the bills. I don't know that he even knows how to pay them on his own. He still asks me to be his alarm clock so he can make it to work on time..

[Mackenaw]

Hello Rabinantha (((hugs)))

God bless you this day.

I'm sorry for the heart hurt that accompanies this type of trial. (((hugs)))

I am glad that you continue to seek The Lord and that His peace is helping you overcome. I caution you, however, that you are not required to assist your husband in carrying out his new plans of breaking up two families. God does not send currently married people new potential spouses, and especially not potential spouses that are also currently married. I am not suggesting you behave ugly or un-Christian-like. Continue to seek The Lord for His direction. Pray without ceasing.

I know you read the 14-Day CCCC Study, but I want you to know there are many other studies on this site that will help you in growing your relationship with The Lord. I highly suggest the 7-Day Study on The Holy Spirit called Spirit of Truth: http://www.christianityoasis.com/Spirit ... tepOne.htm The study is such a blessing.

Prayers are rising to The Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. God's will be done.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[Rabinantha]

Thank you, sister, I will check it out! I agree with what you said about God not sending married people new spouses.. My husbands mind is made up however, and so I'm wanting to be the petitioner in the case rather than the respondent because I am afraid of what he may try to do against me. I want my parenting plan to be the first one the judge reads. And I truly believe that God didn't break up our marriage; my husband chose this, but God knew that my husband was going to choose this so HE is preparing me for the next chapter in my life. I don't know what that chapter is yet, but I know that God will be the center of it!