Christianity Oasis Forum

[Mackenaw]

Hello Lastyearalive

God bless you this day.

From what you have shared about your friend, she has been going through much change, and right now she in a season where you, as her friend, can help to build her up -- to edify and encourage her.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Your friend needs edifying (to be built up) at this time. The description of "edify" per the "Outline of Biblical Usage" is:
to promote growth in Christian wisdom, affection, grace, virtue, holiness, blessedness.

It is awesome that your friend is listening to sermons on the radio. I hope that it and you will encourage her to study God's Word, and grow in her relationship with The Lord. The Lord loves her so very much.

John 17:3 And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus on her behalf. I pray Colossians 1:9-14 for her. God's will be done.

Colossians 1:9-14
9 For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;

10 That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God;

11 Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness;

12 Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light:

13 Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son:

14 In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins:

God bless and keep you, Lastyearalive.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[Dennis Hall]

Good evening,

What Mandy is looking for will probably not be found in church. I have been involved in churches off and on for years and have had EXPECTATIONS and when they were not met, it forced me to look at myself, and that is probably the most difficult and maybe even painful, yet rewarding thing one can do. Church is full of hurting people at all stages of maturity, there are clicks and politics. There is shaming and all sorts of masks people wear to hide or to be accepted and or approved of. If I speak the right way, say the right things, associate with the right people I will........................!
I think that the worst wounds are church wounds, because of the expectations. I think that some expectations are just. Church should be a place set apart from the world, but to often find it to be a somewhat sanitized version of the world. it is the world baggage that is dragged in the door every Sunday or when ever.
Mandy may find that she may be happier outside the church building. I truly struggled in church, but will always support her and the good that she does.
I found that I need the support of my brothers and sisters in Christ,but have discovered a very deep, intimate and rewarding relationship with Jesus out side of the building. It works itself out in my everyday life. I read the Bible and works by select Christian authors, pray as intimately as I can in the moment, that is being honest about your heart condition,your hurts and your anger. There are no special formulas for prayer just honesty. Don't be afraid the tell Jesus anything, he knows your heart anyway. Tell him what you feel about yourself. He will honor honesty. Jesus has transform my life,through an amazing process of healing. His Grace is true, all that Jesus said He is, is true as is the Holy Spirit. Life is good! Your relationship with Christ is unique and intimate. Nobody else has your unique life experience or relationship with Jesus and that make it very private and intimate. You can tell Christ anything, He won't be hurt or angry because He knows that it is the way, heart to heart. I can pray for others but, my prayers should reflect a desire for personal change. THIS IS IMPORTANT. If you allow Christ to work in you and change you. Nobody can relate to you in the same way ever again. Others will have to change because you have.

Have a Very Good Life,
One day at a time,
Learn from yesterday,
be the best you can today,
and allow tomorrow to take car of itself!

In Christ Jesus,

Dennis

[dema]

There are all kinds of churches - it is important to find the right one. My church lifts me up. It reminds me that there are others who do feel as I do. It allows me to realize that I am part of the community of Christ.

It is possible to allow the opinions of others to drag you down - and many church people feel they have the right to judge - no matter WHAT the BIBLE says about judging. They jump on the one verse about us sitting with Christ at the judgement and use that to ignore the dozens of verses telling us not to judge.

But that isn't what Christ wanted. The church is the body of Christ and we should be part of the body. Can this be your church - your body? Oasis or other online worship centers? Sometimes. But there is great value in being in person with like minded believers. And there is also great value in an in person hug.

[lastyearalive]

Mandy's in a slump again...it's really bad. She says her husband is like Saul in the Old Testament. She wants to know if Saul in the Old Testament went to Heaven. No one can answer the question for her. She feels that if Saul in the OT went to Heaven, then her husband will file for divorce and get away with it. She says if that happens, suicide is the only way out as she does not have anyone to help her for the long term. She will have no money to go back to school, a place to live, or even a car. It has been 4 years now.

I know that with God, nothing is impossible for Him. Would He allow divorce to happen to her? She says it would be better if her husband says he no longer believes in God, than for him to say he is a christian and divorce her. She feels no one understands what she is going through. She says she will find a way to commit suicide...

I know she is serious about what she will do.

What is the answer about Saul, please.

Thanks.

[dema]

Most people who are divorced never intended to be divorced. It is a horrible thing always. But God does forgive. Particularly if she has no choice in the matter, God does forgive. God forgives murder and horrible things too. And he uses people afterwards. Don't forget that Paul was a murderer and so was David. There is nothing to remove Mandy from the grace of God if she will ask for God's forgiveness. Some people say that suicide is unforgivable. So her talking of suicide because she can't stand the shame of divorce confuses me.

Did Saul go to heaven? There is a lot of research on there perhaps being multiple places in the after life. The pit of fire is likely a different place from the outer darkness where there is gnashing of teeth. Gehenna is a place of shadows. Paradise is the reshaped world with golden streets. Heaven is likely a completely different place. I believe the judgement will be more complicated than is often preached - for the unbeliever. For the believer, we will be with Jesus. And we will experience love like we have never known.

So, I don't know what happened to Saul. But I do know that suicide is considered by many to be the most unforgivable sin - the most likely way to get into a place of permanent anguish. I find it confusing. I do believe that a gracious God would not condemn someone who took too much morphine because of terrible physical pain. And the situations are in a continuum. At one point is suicide a totally selfish act to escape from the path God placed us on and at one point is it a symptom of illness? I don't know. These are all hard questions.

What I do know is that divorced people who accept Jesus, or who ask for love and forgiveness after divorce (who were previously saved) DO go to heaven. Absolutely. The promises of God are quite clear.

Saul had mental illness. Are we responsible for mental illness? Again, I do not know. What part of Saul's evil was him being egotistical and what part was the headaches and confusion that the Bible describes? I don't know. These are hard questions.

I do, again, know that going forward, accepting forgiveness, is what God would want Mandy to do. I don't know if God never blessed her marriage and wishes that she would just get out of it on her own. I don't know if staying in it until her husband kicks her out is what God intends for her. But I do know that living and going forward IS part of his plan.

As far as the lack of resources - it would be good if right now, before she has no choice - Mandy would start talking to people in social services about what is available for her in terms of getting a job and a place to stay in the future. She might check on urban ministries. She also might go to whatever is the largest church in the area and ask them what is available. Surely there is a church in a nearby community that is known for its outreach? There are ways to make the transition, she just needs to find them. This is a good time of year to be looking at school and financial aid as well. The financial aid is often enough to pay for a place to stay - something where there are roommates. And there are places that will hook her up with roommates as well.

An honest talk with the husband might be a very good idea - or a terrible one. He might be willing to help with the transition, or he might want to hurt her for thinking about it. That requires prayer.

Hiding from what is imminent is not a good idea. God speaks in peace. If all there is is anguish, then she isn't hearing God.

[Mackenaw]

Hello Lastyearalive,

God bless you this day.

It is not for us to know, at this time, where Saul will spend eternity. The White Throne Judgment has not yet taken place. David recognized Saul as God's anointed, and refused to lay a hand on Saul, even though Saul was intent on killing David.

I'm reminded of: Romans 14:4 Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.

Lastyearalive, I can understand why you are concerned about your friend, Mandy. She is obviously very upset over the threat of divorce, to the point that Satan has gotten a strong hold, and her thinking is out of balance. Your concern, love and compassion for her is apparent. I encourage you to continue praying for her, and to end your prayers with, as exampled by Jesus to The Father, ...nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. (see Luke 22:42 [KJV])

I feel it important, also, to remind you that she belongs to The Lord God Almighty, regardless of the choices your friend makes, in the future, concerning her temporary life here on earth. It is so important for those that minister to others, that they lay the burdens of others at the feet of Jesus, at the end of every day. It is not for us to carry those burdens any farther than to the Cross. Then, be renewed daily...filled to the brim with virtue -- His loving power. Thank You Jesus!

Fear of the unknown can play havoc on our mind and emotions. Fear is one of Satan's favorite tools to use to manipulate and control us. Satan also knows scripture, and he will twist it and then use his twisted version of it to control and condemn us -- making us his puppets. Satan tried that same scam on Jesus, but failed, as Jesus was not fooled.

I have been and will continue praying in the name of Jesus, for your friend. God The Father's will be done.

I am also praying, in the name of Jesus, for her husband, and for their son. God The Father's will be done. Their son, most likely, has been aware of the chaos and turmoil the last 4 years, as well as the threats by both parents of future changes. It is all so very sad.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[lastyearalive]

Mandy had a strange dream last night. She called this morning asking what did I think it meant. I told her to pray to God about it, and we prayed together. The dream was about a coworker who was going through a hard time, and she was comforting that person. Also, a lot of food was prepared. Another dream she told me was that she saw the head of the body completely wrapped with white cloth, and Mandy, with a single hole puncher, was punching holes in strips of paper next to it.

Sorry for the abruptness, just trying to post this before I leave for errands. If anyone can interpret dreams, it would be a help. Anyway, I will always be there for my friend. I'd appreciate any help for this post.

Thanks in advance. Blessings

[lastyearalive]

Hello,

I honestly don't think Mandy will make it this year--alive--. She doesn't understand why her husband is so prosperous by lying, and pretending to be Christian. What can I do for her?

[dema]

Why is your name "Lastyearalive"? On the one hand, many things you say definitely seem to refer to you talking about a separate person. But the combination of you having that name for yourself and the way you refer to her makes me wonder about what all is going on here.

In order to interpret a dream, as many images as possible should be mentioned. After all this time, I doubt that she remembers the images. When I saw the post I just wasn't up to the endeavor and then I forgot about it. It is important to know it was food, but also to know what food.

Food represents nourishment - but not necessarily physical nourishment. It can be spiritual or emotional. She may feel that the coworker was getting nourishment but Mandy was not. Why did the coworker get help, even from Mandy, when Mandy didn't get what she needed?

Images can mean different things to different people - but the archetypes hold true a huge portion of the time. When Lazarus was raised from the dead, his head was wrapped as you describe. He came out from the tomb alive but unable to free his own head. When Jesus was prepared for burial, he was not prepared with the head cloth because the man who prepared him remembered that Jesus had prophesying being raised from the dead.

Dreaming of a mummy means that you feel trapped and like you are not being heard. I suspect this may be a Christian forr of that dream.

In my mind that dream represents being prepared to be truly dead. Dreaming about bodies means that a person feels detached and emotionally drained.

Punching holes in something means to find fault with it. Many times the actions are very much like charades. They mean what the phrase means.

White paper means starting anew. So I get the impression that this dream is about dead hopes and finding reasons why nothing can ever be fixed. Whatever is suggested, she just punches holes in. She finds fault and won't start anything new.

Overall the dream appears to be despair and giving up.

[dema]

I don't know what you can do for her except pray.

I have known some wonderful people who were into apologetics. I also enjoyed a lot of CS Lewis's writing - which is the same kind of thing. An apologist tries to logically argue the case for God. I have difficulty with this whole philosophy in terms of actually reaping fruit. It is interesting and may increase faith that is already there.

My point is that faith is of things not seen, not proven. God is. Before everything there was God. In the beginning God. The substance of everything - God.

God is love. And no matter what Mandy did wrong, God loves her. God forgives - anything - even stoning Christians. Mandy loved unwisely. In the great scheme of things, most people find that easy to forgive. How can she not accept that God forgives. If one does not accept forgiveness, then that person is making the sacrifice of Christ in vain. How horrible! Meditate on that. The Bible says that. If you do not accept that God forgives you, then Christ died for nothing. The whole point is that we would fail and need to know that we are washed white as snow, we are clean and whole and loved. Oh so loved.

If Mandy was to write me, I would ask her questions. I would look up those verses about forgiveness and ask her if she really wants to make God a liar. And then I would ask her if she believes that other divorced people are going to hell. And if she said that she didn't know or that she thought that some were and some weren't - then I would ask her why she thinks God would be harder on her than on others.

I get the impression that there is unforgiveness here and that perhaps a theme with Mandy is actually thinking that if God won't be what she wants Him to be, if God won't punish the man who hurt her, if God won't promise her that her husband will go to hell - well, then she'd rather go to hell herself to spite God. That would make God sad, but it would do a lot worse for Mandy.

Mandy can leave her cruel husband and make a new life. She can stay within the marriage perhaps, and build a big part of her life separate from her husband. If she cannot do the second, then she needs to do the first. If her current life is horrible and she cannot truly worship God in it, then she needs to do whatever needs to be done in order to be able to worship God. If she doesn't believe in divorce, then perhaps she needs to live a life separate from her husband anyway.

Our first responsibility is to love God. Anything that gets in the way of that needs to go. Our second duty is to love others.

When we are all locked up in revenge thoughts and fury at God, we are just locked up. We are not fulfilling our duties as Christians.

Suicide is a horrible thing. It is the absolute worst choice as a Christian. It rejects everyone in the person's life and gives them the worst pain. It is the absolute most hateful thing that I can imagine. It is selfish, selfish, selfish.

I understand that sometimes people get into so much pain that they aren't thinking. That the suicide is the work of a moment's despair. But contemplating it for a year and then choosing it - that is a horrible sin. Horrible, horrible. Black, black.

And I would certainly express that to Mandy.

[MamaKitty87]

I've been reading up on your most recent post and I ask that Mandy read Psalm 73, and that will show how that Psalmist saw it

[Raminakai]

You are discerning that something is dysfunctional in your fellowship. There is no way a man leaving his wife just because he thinks that would make him happy should ever teach. You should seriously pray about finding another church that believes what the bible says.

Also, the, " strange peace" your friend has is a signal to you something is off. I believe the Holy Spirit is teaching you great discernment and you should take action. I would go to the leadership and confront them if you can pray for courage to do so.