Christianity Oasis Forum

[branches]

OK today i am feeling a little better than after day 1, i'm trying to trust this process, it still seems overwhelming, but I will forge ahead. I feel like I must get some sort of payoff for being like I am or I wouldve discarded what wasnt working in my life. Just like being overweight and dealing with issues with food, after youve done that for so many years, food is what works, even though you know its not best for you. Still it works in the moment and thats the payoff.. I guess I do have many people in my life who are also dealing with tough issues and when we talk its like a negativity session. Does that help to get off your chest or hinder you in some way?

[dema]

I have a rule that I won't have the same argument three times. It helps to be clear with others - to try to understand and be understood. But continuing to try the same thing over and over when it gets the same negative results is foolishness.

Appreciation can work wonders. Instead of telling people what is wrong and what bothers you, you might try telling them what they did right and what made you happy. People really do in general want to make others happy. One of the greatest frustrations is trying to make someone happy and failing. That is often worse than not trying at all.

Hope it gets better for you. Sometimes just looking in the right direction helps a lot.

[branches]

HArd to believe I am back again and still in the same (or maybe worse) place. I did day one again yesterday, now day 2 again.. more determined this time to get through this course, thanks for the positive comments dema!

[dema]

Most addictions aren't the actual issue. People will struggle with the addiction, when it is actually the issue under the addiction that needs to be dealt with first. You were probably hurt. One of the worst hurts is isolation. There can be more positive issues - mama gave food as an expression of love for example. So anytime the child wants it kissed and made better she eats. But many times the food is an addiction in a deeper way - just trying to cover things up and hide them. Sometimes the food and the fat are hiding shame. Sometimes bad memories.

I agree a good sugar rush feels good. You can get that with a quarter jar of marshmallow cream for about 300 calories. Eating beyond that often has elements of self-punishment in it.

These statements are really questions - to make you think. If you want to talk about them further, you can PM me. If you look under my name there is a link with the initials PM on it. That is the only place to write me personally. You can also go to the top where it says PMs in a little blue box - but then you need to type in my name.