Christianity Oasis Forum

[wonder777]

I am starting this again. My problems lie with me being autistic (later the diagnosis was pinpointed to a high functioning type called Asperger's), abuse sexually and emotionally, and being w/ a toxic, overprotective mother. I'm 37 and still have the mindset of a slave, not having the level of maturity someone my age should have. Our relationship (me and my mom) had become toxic and almost symbiotic. Also, the events of what happened to me as a kid still haunt me at times. Despite my stepfather (who raped me) having died in 1999. So I have a good idea of the genesis of my problems. I do believe in generational curses, and I may even need a deliverance from my demons so to speak. I am a Christian, having received Christ between ages 7-10. I can't remember exactly when, but I could tell you it was a Sunday morning, and what church I was attending at the time. My stepfather made us suffer so much, but I suffered the most. I have expressed interest in forgiving him, despite him dying, but I'm lost from there. God knows this, but I need a sign.

[dema]

You talk about toxic, overprotective mother. There are a lot of things going on here. Have you still not had counseling?

Do you still live with your mother?

Are you in a codependent relationship?

God loves you so much. I know Jesus weeps at what happens to children. It was not your fault. A five or six year old is so small, so innocent. The fact that you reported it at all is amazing. So many people get so crippled by the shame and blame and the need for a protector that they never report. It is much more common to never report. You were strong and brave to do so.

It wasn't your fault. Was never your fault.

I am very direct. This goes well with Aspergers. Please, PM me and we can talk.

I have read, researched and talked to people. I am not a counselor. I can mentor and be a friend. But counseling would be wise.

I am sorry for all your pain.

[mlg]

Hello wonder, as I read your shared words, I could not help but think just how much Jesus can understand and relate to your suffering..in fact I bet He knows how you feel and wants to heal you of that pain...see Jesus suffered much too when He was in the world...but we can have peace in knowing that as the Bible says...Jesus overcame the world! And what is more through our faith and trust in Jesus we can overcome our past and live fully in His presence.....the past doesn't have to keep hurting us, but in order for us to put the past aside, we have to lay the past at the feet of Jesus and leave it there....never to pick it up again....Keep fighting to put the past away and rely on Jesus to help you...with Jesus you will have victory....praying for you on this journey. Take care and God Bless