Christianity Oasis Forum

[Bristollayne]

Friday night I cried myself to sleep. With all the turmoil in my life, I cried out to God. I've confessed and repented for all of the sins I know to have been commited. I just haven't forgiven myself. How do I do that? I ask God to take the sorrows and pain from me, but still punish myself for my wrongdoings. How can I give it all to God, when I can't forgive what He has already forgiven? I take deep breaths, thinking this will allow the spirit to enter into my heart, especially when someone prays aloud. I need to learn to let go and to forgive myself. If there is someone out there that has struggled with this and have succeeded please let me know what worked for you. My heart is heavy and I know why it is, the custody battle that I am going through is exhausting. I ask that you continue to pray for my children and myself. Please do pray for us.
Thank you and God Bless,
~Bristollayne

[dema]

I've worked with a number of people. And this is a difficult place. Even after people forgive themselves, they have trouble loving themselves.

Faith comes from hearing the word of God.

And victory is in the minutes. You do have good minutes each day. Try to praise God, focus on God and increase the good minutes.

Joyce Meyer survived some of the worst abuse I have ever heard of. She wrote "Beauty for Ashes" to help others. But it is intense. I really recommend reading that book and starting at Chapter 5. "Battlefield of the Mind" is also excellent.

Satan doesn't want you to have victory. He wants to keep you in your place. When you try to read those books, you will likely feel heavy, have a lot of distractions and feel sad. It just won't feel right to read them. You won't want to.

This is a spiritual battle. I really, really recommend that you read the books anyway. One page at a time if that's what you have to do. Read a back and front page and move the bookmark, preferably several times a day. Put it on the back of the toilet.

You have to decide. You have swamp boots on right now. And you have to DECIDE.

Joyce shared some stuff on one TV program that was so horrid that I wrote them and asked them not to talk about that. That it was just too rough. I listen to all sorts of stuff - so you can imagine that it was pretty horrid. They contacted me and apologized for hurting me. And I haven't heard anything that bad again - she really went through it. She always has talked about her father raping her. And she is victorious. Satan doesn't want you to have that victory. He wants you to keep allowing him to devour you - remember he is a roaring lion seeking whom he MAY devour.

Please, read Beauty for Ashes. Starting at chapter 5. You can read the first four chapters your second time through the book. You should probably read it over and over.

God bless you. Part of this is letting out what has been buried. Part of this is the feeling of your foot waking up after you sat on it wrong. Once the circulation gets flowing, it will feel better. But part of this really, really has to be treated.

Hugs.

[realtmg]

Hi.
God does not make junk and you are not junk because he created you as YOU.
Do not be so hard on yourself.
He loves you and so do we.
Forgiving oneself is VERY hard. DO IT.
HE HID and will do.
Today is a new day and put one foot in front of the other.
He knows your heart and one day you will be able to look back and see how God helped you through this.
He just might allow you to help someone who has been through the same.
Keep sharing and vent what has been stuffed inside for years.
Pray,Pray,Pray....and.............

GBU

Real

Real

[Bristollayne]

Thank you to both Dema and Real. I do pray, LOTS! I do read my Bible but not nearly as much. What would be very beneficial for me is someone to guide me to verses that may be helpful. I have read the first four books of the Bible and am now on Dueteronomy. I am trying to read cover to cover. I am getting better at navigating in the Bible thanks to the church I attend.
Thank you both for reaching out!
~Bristollayne

[realtmg]

Sis,
Just a suggestion,
Start in the New Testament with the Gospels.
This is the New covenant as the old has passed away.
Study about Christ.
As I said, just my suggestion.

GBU

Real......

[Bristollayne]

In Church we are studying Luke and 1st Peter. I will try to do a few chapters in each Testament. Hopefully that will clue me in.

Thank you and God Bless You also!
~Bristollayne

[dema]

The whole chapter of Romans 8.

Psalm 103.

The whole book of Ephesians.

The gospel of John.

Hugs

[Bristollayne]

Thank you Dema. I will do those today/tonight! I appreciate your attentiveness!

~Bristollayne