Christianity Oasis Forum

[linster]

There is so much going on that it isn't even possible to talk about all of it here and now but i will try to hit the highlights. My marriage is over and both my wife and I accepted that a long time ago, we are just getting our affairs in order so we can go our separate ways. Some who read this may wish that our marriage can be saved and I respect that very much but here is the but, over the 20 some years we have been married I have watched myself fall into deep despair. Before I met my wife I was active in the church and the youth ministry as an advisor, I was well on my way to putting my life back together. Today I am a recluse who hasn't been to church for many years let alone spend time with other Christians, I have to question whether I am even still a Christian or if I am completely starting over and starting over may not be a bad thing. I am not going to go down the road of he said she said or the blame game because I am just as guilty as anyone for losing my way. I don't hate my wife in fact i dout that I really have the capacity to hate anyone but I am very angry and sad and trampled. Today my wife calls Christianity "the fairy tale that needy people beleve". In stead of a relationship where two people grow together and learn from one another ours has always been her verses me. I let myself be pulled away from the things that made me strong and over the years all my strength left me. I don't want to be in this damaging relationship anymore and I desperately want to find some of the inner peace I once had. My wife is not a bad person but she is not the person I thought I originally married. For many years I tortured myself with the idea that our relationship was broken becuase I was broken and all the problems we had were my fault so quit complaining and tough it out but it is killing me literally and i can't do it any longer. About three years ago I found myself in the upstairs bathtub cutting my wrist with a razor blade, I'm not sure that I really wanted to kill myself as much as I just wanted the pain to go away. I spent about three months in psychiatric hospitals and have not been able to work since then because I was just so broken down. Today I find myself motivated to get back to the basics that made my life work, I even went to a job interview today. As I said in the beginning I am skipping over allot of events and as people get to know me they will learn of some of these events as well because I don't mind telling people about my hardships as long as they don't judge me. About half a year ago I reached out to my local church through email and explained every thing I was going through and asked if they could help me but I never got a response and at the time I sort of took it as a sign that I was doomed. I later reached out to an old friend who is the senior minister with another church and he reached out to my local church on my behalf but again no response. I find myself questioning whether or not my local church is the right church for me at this point and finally built up enough courage to reach out online and we will see where things go from here. I am not angry or resentful but I am really tired and I have been through allot but I have high hopes for a better future. Thanks, David

[Maverick_Reborn]

Hello david, and welcome. I don' t know much about relationships, but I can suggest something. This sight has randoms quotes from the bible on the bottom of the homepage. You should try writing one down everyday, and hanging them on the wall. It will help you when you feel a little down. Also, and im not sure if you do this already, but rrad the bible everynight. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. And, if you feel really down, go outside and look around you. When I feel down, God always shows me a star in the sky. Maybe you should start looking for stars. =) I really hope this helps somehow, see you soon =)

[Mackenaw]

Hello Linster

God bless you this day, and welcome to Christianity Oasis.

I'm glad The Lord led you here, and that you are reaching out. God desires that we gather together in His name, grow in our relationship with Him, and that we get to know one another and encourage one another in His love and truth.

Sometimes, God's children, wander and fall. You have not wandered too far that He cannot reach you. The Lord loves you, Linster.

I know there is hope in The Lord. Thank You Jesus. So, if you have not started the 14 Day Counseling Study / CCCC Study, I really encourage you to do so. You didn't mention the actual study in your post, so here is the link, just in case:
http://www.christianityoasis.com/CCCC/Forum.htm

I have sweet hope for you, Linster -- sweet hope in The Lord, and prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. May God's blessed will be done.

God's love carries hope. (See I Corinthians chapter 13)

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[jimf]

Hey Linster, Welcome, You are most definitly in the right place. Follow the steps of the healing path, faithfully, one day at a time. There's a miracle waiting for you. Your "high hopes for a better future" have been answered. It's no accident that you are here. 'SOMEONE" has been waiting for this day for a long time, He loves and cares for you. Give Him a chance. Do your part and He will definitly do His. I am praying for you. Jimf

[realtmg]

David,
I have to agree with the above post. God opened a door for you to find us.
Try working the COOL 14 day program as best as you can.
You might be surprised what God has in store for you.
Die to self and let HIM work daily.
Welcome Bro.

GBU

Real