Christianity Oasis Forum

[LovingSheep]

Lord, there are so many weeds in my garden. Mostly they were planted by me. For today I am feeling lonely, sad and broken-hearted. My path has been long and painful, mixed in with great joy and blessings, but this recent battle, has been the hardest and most dramatic of all.

I long to sit beside the still waters with you, Lord, and I desire to be healed, fully healed from all my wounds. The scars I carry are deep and painful, scars which only you can truly heal.

Please, please let me feel your mighty presence deep inside my soul. The lies of Satan, the lies of family and friends, and mostly my own ugly lies are suffocating me. I am weakened by the battle, and so very, very tired. But I cling to you, for you alone will restore my dying soul.

Am I worthy? Is there still a chance for me? Only with you can I make it through this one, Father.

Thank you for my love, my partner, my best friend, who takes up his armor with me, loving and encouraging me to keep going. Thank you for providing all my needs according to your glorious riches.

Lord, I have to purge myself of the feelings of unworthiness, of feeling ugly, unloved, unwanted, powerless and pathetic. Enduring homelessness and deep poverty 4 times in 5 years has been too great for me to bear. That on top of having to let go of my mom is crippling me inside. I am losing my joy and have no sense of purpose. I used to be so alive, so beautiful, full of hope and promise, and now I am looked up with disgust and abandoned for dead by most. I do not know who I am anymore and why I am here. They, the world, and those who know me, put so much trust in my inner greatness, my gifts and passion given by You, and I have failed them. Not through drugs, or alcohol, but through giving up, not wanting to fight anymore. I am suffering, Lord, and only you know the depth of my inner anguish.

I am so tired of fighting, but you are not done with me. This will be a new beginning. If only I can find the inner strength to keep from drowning. I have to stop taking my eyes off of you, and stop looking at the water, for I am drowning. I love you, Lord, and I know you have not given up on me. I will do my best to keep serving, despite the tremendous pain and adversity. Your humble servant forever.

[pknoll]

Thx so much for your honesty. The way you pour out your heart will surely be heard by God. Bless you a million times over. People do care and you have to believe you are meant for many good things in this life.

[LovingSheep]

Thank you, pknoll, for your beautiful words of encouragement! Bless you.