Christianity Oasis Forum

[cjonesy33]

Not sure where to begin...My fiance and I have been together for over 7 years. We have two amazing children together. We have had a very rocky relationship. We started out dating for a few months and then moved in together. A few months after that I found out I was pregnant. Things just seemed to go down hill from there, but we recovered and things got better for awhile. Fours years later we had our second child. Throughout our relationship I treated him very badly with my words and my actions. We are both Christians, but fell away from the Lord and Church. We both got into drugs heavily. Just marijuana and alcohol. Throughout our relationship I questioned a lot if I really did love him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. In May he left us for 5 long weeks and I sought God again. I did a lot of soul searching and found that I did truly love him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I quit the drugs and the alcohol after he left My parents have been married for 38 years and his parents divorced when he was very young. When he came back I thought finally we are going to get this right. After one month of him being home he tells me that he made a mistake and realized one week after he came back. He could not tell me for 3 weeks because he did not want to be a friend. He told me he is not in love with me, that he does not love me and id not sure that he ever did. He says he was just trying to make it work so our kids did not have to go through what he went through. I have given my life to God again and have started taking our children to church to learn about God. I feel like God would not have let me find my true feeling for him, just to turn around and take him away. Am I wrong?? Am I missing something?? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

[dema]

Free will is free will. Each of us gets to make choices. God can work good out of all choices - Romans 8:28 - but good does not mean best. Some good will come out of it if we love Jesus and trust him to lead us. Some good. Not necessarily the best good.

You had good come out of your fiancee leaving you - you straightened up and got closer to God. I believe that our whole life, our whole journey on this earth is about getting closer to God and to each other - each other plural. It is about us learning - growing wiser.

You have learned, you are wiser, you are closer to God. That is very good.

God does not promise that we will get whatever we want. He doesn't promise to take our questionable choices and make them good. Even our best choices sometimes bring pain and disappointment. They also bring wisdom if we will trust God to let us see it.

I know your heart is breaking and I bleed for you. I can imagine the sinking feeling in your heart. The wondering about tomorrow. The desperation of not knowing how the days and weeks will pan out. Faith in this kind of situation is the best faith - the most real faith.

If you will hold up now, stay on your path with God, nurture your children, believe that God will lead you along the path he designed for you - then in a while, you will find joy. Probably not tomorrow. But in a while. And in the meantime, stay in touch. You need people who care for you while you hurt.

[RainaSkye]

well said dema........

[cjonesy33]

Thank you for your words of encouragement!! I am letting God take over all of my worries. My job now is to heal myself and to take care of my children. I do have a wonderful family and amazing friends. They are what helps me get through each day. I want my children to live by what God says in the Bible. And I myself want to live by what God says. I just do not understand why my ex would want his kids to go through what he went through as a child. He did not have his dad with hi growing up and he knows that effects that had on him. The pain and problems it has caused him, why would he want his kids to have those same problems?? I just want him to be open to us being a family and for him to seek counseling as I have done. I can not make decisions for him but I am the one that has to raise our children on my own and answer their questions about why daddy does not want to live with us or be there for them. It gets really hard to see my babies hurt and upset. I wish he would turn to God with everything and I truly believe that God would heal him and make him the person he created him to be.