Christianity Oasis Forum

[chbalco]

I woke up in a bad mood this morning..My spirit was all messed up inside..I felt frustrated and didn't know why

I spoke to my ex gf this morning when she called and asked how our daughter was doing..we talked a little and I asked what time she wanted me to drop my daughter off in the morning because I am going rock climbing and mountain biking..I told her where my insurance policies where just in case anything happened to me..she asked if I was going by myself and and I laughed and said well yeah..well..Its gonna be me and Jesus going and she laughed..Now I didn't feel this was a normal laugh I felt that it hit me as a laugh of "who do you really think you are fooling with all this Jesus talk..you will go right back to the person you were before". I didn't respond to it..because I have already resolved in my self not to speak any negative words to anybody anymore. We then talked about me taking my daughter to watch her grandma sing in the 4th of July church choir today and I told her I had talked to her mom this morning and told her that she was probably going to be there..she said why did you tell her that?..I dont even know if those are the fireworks I am going to....Im not sure what was going on..But I quickly apologized and decided to end the conversation quickly would be the best solution.

After hanging up I realized that maybe she was talking about going to a fireworks display with the guy she is now dating and didn't want her mom to see her or whatever the case may be...And then of course the heartache started over again and the chest pains and the feelings of despair...I cried out to the lord and begged him please please please dear lord make me stop thinking about her so that I may move on with my life..I am so heart broken..Please I screamed in my head please make me to stop thinking about her and keep my mind,heart and spirit fixed on you completely in Jesus name I beg

It was then that I realized why my spirit was so broken..yesterday I had told my ex gf that I know we are meant to be together and that when God was done with his work for me we would be back together again and she would be the one to take my commitment ring off on our wedding night...and of course she didn't respond..BOOM.....There it was I HAD JUST IMPOSED MY WILL ON HER INSTEAD OF THE WILL OF GOD..and it was after all that happened yesterday that my frustration grew with my kids..and its all because I allowed the devil seed to enter my brain and plant itself when she didn't respond to my text

So after I laid my daughter down for a nap..I read the course on patience and then today's course on trials and tribulations..as I was doing my course study..I felt it in my heart to write down reasons why I shouldn't want my ex gf back and wrote them on a index card to carry around with me so when the thoughts did enter my mind..I can look at the cards and remember why this all happened in the first place...the card reads as follows:
-She is not right with Jesus
-She doesn't care that you are hurting
-She would rather date another man
-Jesus is the only one who cares
-Do you really want a woman like her in your life?
-She laughs at your conversion to the Lord
-Jesus has someone special just for you
-Feel sorry the she cant see that the real changes in you
-Pray for her

I also made notes on the patience study..which I found to be very inspirational...today hasnt started off great..But I am keeping the faith and continuing this until the end

please pray for my heart and mind to be relieved of the memory of my ex gf..I am so confused right now because I am trying so hard to focus on the lord and I know its the devil seed that keeps bringing her memory to the fore front and stealing the blessing that Jesus is giving to me

[Dora]

Your words don't land on an empty space where no one reads or cares. I care and I am praying. Many others are as well. Keep sharing.

I like your lists of reasons why this is happening.

[Ruthk34]

I am praying for you every day for the Lord to help you through your trials. You with the help of the Lord can do this. Your idea to write things down on a index card is great, I don't think I would have thought of that. Stay strong we are with you.