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I'm Not Going to Make it

Postby JohnR » Thu Jun 21, 2012 5:43 am

Today has been another one of THOSE days!!! On Monday I had TALKED to the women in charge of the company I work for about a check that was supposed to be mailed to me LAST WEEK for a new account that I didn’t get paid for. Well she gave me the run around & basically lied to me. I needed that money for my phone & because I didn’t get it my phone was turned off. My son got out of the Navy yesterday & I couldn’t even talk to him!!! He’s going to NJ before coming to Texas in the beginning of July. I’m so sick of the company I work for but I don’t have a lot of options being that I don’t have a license (I work with my wife & she drives). I watched this video on this site The Way of the Master on a topic that I’ve heard before. Basically it talks about 2 men on a flight & their offered parachutes: 1 is told it will make his flight better & the other it will save his life. The point being that if you “put on Christ” to make your life better, your doomed to fail BUT if you “put on Christ” to save your life you will become a good or real or something like that Christian. I know this is sad to say but to be honest I don’t care much about the afterlife. As far as I’m concerned I hope that when I die it’s just over & done with & I am just no more. I don’t remember anything from before I was born & as far as I’m concerned anything that happened before I was born for all practical purposes doesn’t exist & I hope that is the way it will be when I’m dead. I have almost died more than once & if there is a God I wish he just would have let me go because I’m in a no win situation. I’ve had a horrible time trying to get through this life & don’t feel like I have been very well equipped for the journey. Right from the very start in 1st grade I had problems getting along & it’s been a nightmare ever since. I ask God to come into my life hoping for His help BUT I’m made aware of the fact that that is not the right reason to except Christ. So I’m damned if I don’t except Him but I’m damned if I do!!! I don’t know I just wish this life was over because I can’t handle it. I’ve tried to have a relationship with Christ in the past only to fail & it’s probably because I didn’t do it for the right reasons. God please let me die; I’m already in hell so what’s the difference!!!
"All things are possible with God"
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Re: I'm Not Going to Make it

Postby dema » Thu Jun 21, 2012 7:33 am

Practical advice: make your choices in light of what could go wrong unless you feel very strong divine guidance. And divine guidance is peaceful. If you are nervous and unsure - it is not divine.

I don't know what you could have not paid instead of your phone - I imagine that you had it all balanced out very nicely and that this customer blew on your house of cards. It is very rough when you have to live in a house of cards. (I have done that too - different house of cards - but never the less.)

But when you build the house, think about what is required for the house to stand - and think about what the worst case could be. Don't let somebody you don't know derail you so badly. Maybe you had no other possible choice - but then again, maybe having the gas shut off in the summer time would have been better than not having your phone. Just thoughts. Practical thoughts.

I know it is rough. I feel for you and I am sorry you hurt. God is sorry you hurt too. But, God wants something all together better for you - for the long run. And sometimes getting there is just tough. Like basic training or something.

God bless you. *Pray*
Hugs,
Dema
Shame and blame are the devil's tools. With God ALL things are possible.
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Re: I'm Not Going to Make it

Postby popples » Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:57 am

FAITH its very hard, finances hard too but I have gone without phone, without food, without electricity and I thank God when I do without because it humbles me and makes me so grateful for the life I have today, its made me who I am today, that when I have blessings like bread water showers, friends, medication just everyday things that some dont I know God has blessed me, I was on a merry go round once round and round I went popples little pitty party and God said "havnt I given you?? " straight away I thought of all the bad in my life, bad is easier to remember...... so I wrote a list of only good things and thats when I realised, I was given life..(yesterday I watched a little 5 year old girl having chemo] I have children (my friend is so sweet nicest person but cant have children} Im drug free ( I have held and watched so many hands tied with chains bondaged by drugs. I allso have fresh water to drink and shower with ( I saw children woman and men with no water/ no hot water. Praise God for our triles and thank God for what we do have.
God Bless
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Re: I'm Not Going to Make it

Postby grandma dolittle » Thu Jun 21, 2012 12:13 pm

JOHN,
I would say that you are at the bottom. You can stay there or you can climb out with the help of God. if you tried Jesus and failed, that was your fault. Jesus never leaves us when we accept.
Paul said in Romans 38-39For I am persuaded that neither death,nor life, nor angels,nor[principalities,nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,nor height, not depth,nor any other creature shall be able to sseparate us from the love of God , which is Christ Jesus our Lord.
It makes me sad that you don't believe in the afterlife or wonder if God is real. It doesn't matter if you believe he is real or not... he is real. Paul said in Romans 14: 11For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me and every tongue shall confess to God. [/b[b]] underlined emphsis is mine.

A lot of people think they can pray a prayer of forgiveness and life will be rosy after that. I have news for you, once you accept Christ is when Satan really comes after you. The closer you get to God, the harder he works.

Listen to me John. Not just with your mind, but open your heart. Getting saved is just the first step. You cannot stop there or you will never grow. Read, read, read, the Bible. Read Romans on to the end of the Bible. Ask God for understanding before you start to read. You already know Jesus was tortured and died a horrible death just to make sure you had a chance to live in heaven with him. Now, read how he wants you to live. It is not so hard. It is very rewarding.

Nothing else is working right in your life, why not give God a chance? Get on your knees and SINCERLY ask for forgiveness and help to live for him, not for money. May God be with you and I pray you give him a chance. *Pray* *Pray* grandma
Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. I John 4:4
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Re: I'm Not Going to Make it

Postby JohnR » Thu Jun 21, 2012 5:47 pm

You are all wrong about me, I do believe. I have seen The Passion of the Christ & fell down on my knees & cried like a baby asking God to forgive me for what I have done & for what I haven't (namely following thru on my beliefs). I'm under attack right now & don't handle it very well & the last thing I need is being attacked by my follow Christian too (But I totally understand & probably deserve it). I have had "issues" all my life & think I may be bi-polar & probably should be on medication. “Normal” people don’t, under any circumstances, want to kill themselves & yet I have tried more than once & those were when I was at the lowest points in my life. One moment I feel like I can take on the world & others like I’m the lowest piece of garbage, just look at my posts! I DO BELIEVE IN GOD & AN AFTERLIFE!!! It is the only thing that has kept me from trying more often or actually succeeding in killing myself, although I’ve come very close & believe It’s only by God’s grace that I’m still here & for that I AM VERY THANKFUL! I know I could be in “REAL” hell & it’s only by the Grace of God that I am not. What I said in this post was out of anger & frustration the 2 things more than anything else that I have asked for God’s help with. And I’m not an ungrateful person just one who can’t handle frustration. What you don’t know is that I get paid on the 8th & 23rd & the 23rd falls on a Saturday & they (the company I work for) are not going to issue the checks until Monday & I’ve got tonight, Saturday, & Monday to get thru (we won’t get our check until Monday night) & we’re out of gas now.!!! What you also don’t know is I’m a push over, naïve, gullible etc. & really feel like people have been getting over on me all my life. Again, this all probably because I’m not right in the head & brings me right back to WHY couldn’t God have made me “NORMAL”. Also look at the time of the post 5:43am I CANT SLEEP!!! You know what that does to a person??? It makes a bad situation worse. Look I really do Love you all & I really do care BUT I really have been kicked around by life & I KNOW I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!!
"All things are possible with God"
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Re: I'm Not Going to Make it

Postby Ruthk34 » Thu Jun 21, 2012 6:56 pm

Dear JohnR

I can understand what you are saying about your emotions getting away from you. I work as an aide and have had patients who have mental health illnesses. I see how they struggle and it is in no way easy for any of them. Keep on believing In Christ, spend time in prayer and read the Bible it will help to comfort you. Meditate as well. I like to pray to God and then I sit quietly and keep my heart open to him, sometimes even envision God wrapping his arms around me like a parent would and I can feel Him there. It is a wonderful feeling. Give it a try.

I too am struggling financialy. I'm down to one car with 2 of us working. I have to get up at 4:45am to drive my husband 12 miles to work every morning come back home get the kids to school, to work myself (witch I have to drive place to place all day). My husband has to find someone else to bring him home because i work later than him. I spend 80-100 dollars a week in gas and I get paid bi-weekly so I have to stretch it. It is hard but I hand it over to God and when it gets tough I pray pray pray and God comes through one way or another. sometimes It's a gift from a family member, or just wisdom to help me work through it. Try not to focus on the problem constantly. Only for the time needed to deal with it then let it go and let God carry you through. I am happier when I don't dwell on what I can't help or change.

I hope this was a help to you in some way. Praying for you.
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Re: I'm Not Going to Make it

Postby dema » Thu Jun 21, 2012 7:14 pm

Praying for you John. *Pray*
Hugs,
Dema
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Re: I'm Not Going to Make it

Postby vahn » Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:24 pm

I still remember the times when my "thoughts" of God went something like this : ... when I was late to get to where I was going ... whenever the traffic light turned green , there was a God ... red ... there wasn't !!!



In Christ , our Lord
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Re: I'm Not Going to Make it

Postby lyl1114 » Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:43 pm

Hi JohnR...
You got me worried and scared for a while...but you were very overwhelmed with your situation. I feel you...yesterday there was sorrow for me too but joy came in the morning. And I hope you don't feel you were being attacked...don't feel deserted.
Reading your post, I can understand because I have had many of those moments/thoughts/feelings. And what I realize here is that we ALL do go through almost the same problems. Through these experiences, we can choose to get closer to God. I am glad we can all share with each other what we learn from them and be encouraged.
And God will NEVER forsake us even though we don't want to believe it sometimes. He is the creator of the universe and nothing is impossible and GOD IS LOVE. He wants what's best for us (easier said than believing sometimes).
Anyway, John, I also lift you up in prayer. May you feel His loving arms around you and give you peace. Hang in there and know we are all here for you and for each other! *hug*
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Re: I'm Not Going to Make it

Postby Pert » Fri Jun 22, 2012 6:52 am

I'm not going to tell you what to do. I'm not going to tell you what to think. Because you don't need that right now. What I will do is pray for you, because the Lord seems to be the only one who can help you in this situation.
I may have wisdom, and knowledge on Earth
but if I speak wrong, then what is it worth?
See, what we now know is NOTHING compared
to the love that was shown when our lives were spared!
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Re: I'm Not Going to Make it

Postby Mrsabrown79 » Sat Jun 23, 2012 11:27 pm

I to am praying for you John! You are doing exactly what you should do when things aren't going so good, reach out to your fellow christian friends. We may not be able to physically help you but Prayer is powerful and it works, but we have to believe. I hope you continue to post your feelings because that's one way to release them, and it just may make you feel a little better. We care about you! I pray God's peace, love, and happiness upon your mind and soul, and I pray for better days for you and your family.
God Bless
"Life not centered on God is purposeless and meaningless. Without God, nothing else can satisfy!"

"If your not seeing in your life what God promised in your spirit, keep moving forward!"
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Re: I'm Not Going to Make it

Postby realtmg » Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:52 am

John,
" This Too Shall Pass "

Keep moving forward by FAITH.
Thanks for sharing.

GBU

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