Christianity Oasis Forum

[JP8510]

Hello, I am so glad that I found this website. I am going through a lot right now and I need unbiased people to talk to and I feel that God led me here because I'm coming to a point where my soft heart can't take any more alone. I am married to a wonderful man and I have a sweet little almost 2yr old boy, they are the only thing keeping me from total depression at this difficult time in my life. I'll try to tell the story as short as possible. This past Christmas day my mom, siblings and I were given the news that my dad was living with another woman (he works out of state) and he and my mom were getting a divorce after 29yrs. They haven't gotten along as long as I can remember (I'm 28yrs old) but it still deeply hurts because I believe marriage is sacred. I am being used as the middle person/messenger in my parents conversations/arguements in their divorce because my dad no longer wants to talk to my mom. On top of it all, I have been trying my best to like and trust my dad's gf but it's hard. She talks to me nicely, I'm just weary about her and afraid she is taking advantage of my dad. But she is the least of my worries at the moment. I've been having stress headaches over every little thing lately and I'm worried that I am on the road to depression. I'm also afraid that my son can sense my worries and I just want more than anything to give him the happy life he deserves. I want to be able to enjoy watching him grow up.

Thank you in advance for any and all encouraging words and advice!

[JohnR]

Whoa, that's a difficult situation to be in. I can really empathize with you & although my situation was a little different, I understand what you are going through. My father didn’t do what yours did but I can remember at a very early age hearing my parents fight & sometimes it got physical. I was raised in a house where we went to church every Sunday & you did what you were told or else! It’s not like today where if you even raise your voice to your kids the next thing you know CPS is at your door. I was the oldest of 3 brothers & was 15/16 at the time when they got separated & it was world war 3 almost every night until they didn’t live together anymore. Being the oldest I got caught in the middle most of the time & already having issues with my father & authority I wound up getting involved with drugs & alcohol which caused even more problems. The point being is IT’S NOT YOUR BATTLE!!! I know it hurts but take it from me don’t get caught in the middle & LET GO & LET GOD!!! I let what happened to my parents to tear me apart & I pretty much ruined my life in the process.

Lord God I pray that you will help JP to forgive her dad & for the strength to move on in Jesus name, Amen.
God Bless

Keep on Prayin!!!

[JP8510]

Thank you so much John! I too am the oldest of 3 children, I'm sure that is why my dad has stuck me in the middle and expects so much of me.

[Ruthk34]

I agree with John your parents are adults after all they need to settle this without dragging you in. I would let them know that by bringing you into it is hurting you deeply and they should be understanding. My parents divorced when I was 12 and my father had a girlfriend who he left my mom for. I was resentful and never wanted to meet her but it wasn't long before I did though. My dad married her when I was 15 right after the divorce was final. I wasn't to happy about it at the time but it wasn't long before I got to like my step mom and we became great friends. It takes time for the wounds to heal but they do. Even at 15 I wanted my parents to be happy even when I wasn't because of my love for them I didn't get in their way. In the end we were all happy.

[popples]

Hon first of all Im praying for you. Now this is your precious time with your son and husband, This is an important time too, your son needs your full attention, you need to tell mum and dad you are NO longer the go between, you love them both but you dont want anymore details. Hon you are about to enter a bad road if this keeps up it is called depression and believe me its a very hard road to recover from, so write mum and dad a nice card and post it saying "I love you both so I can no longer be apart of the divorce" they are big enough to sort there own out. Remember God loves you and so do we.