just need to open up from within

[diana]

i dont know how to start, ive never posted anything before but ill try. i was in a long term relationship and now it is no more. he did some things he should never have done and now he is paying for it with his freedom. ive been abused pretty much most my life. mentally, verbally and even sexually. ive been raped and even molested. years ago i had gotten out of a 15 yr abusive marriage. before that i was was abused and a very disfuntional family life. i left it and went into the military where i met my ex husband then after that i spent five years being put through more from my family. then i met my now ex bf. we were together for 15 yrs too this sept would have been 16 yrs. not too long ago i found out he was doing something he never ever should have done. he molested 2 of my family members. this i could not bare. as of the 30th of april i had him arrested for domestic violence on me and then i called the detectives and let them know i put him in jail now go and make him pay for what he has done to two dear members of my family. when my one great niece came and finally opened up and told me i then reported it and the case drags for for two months. then finally they came to our appartment and he was questioned and then they brought him back i could not believe it. then that night the abuse began again. this i felt must end no more pain he must cause me or those he did what he did in my family. ive been on the receiving end of abuses from him and his brothers but what he did to my niece and great niece no way could that compare. he had to be stopped and i knew what i had to do. so on that day when the detectives came to our door the too took me outside and informed me of much more. i gave them my statement for the truth i do tell and believe in always. they knew this about me and i knew this had to be done. none of this i knew of this man i thought i loved and loved me back, he kept this secret from all of us and now it was exposed. yesterday i went infront of the grandjury and gave what they needed to know. for my little beautiful nieces imparted me with this what he had done and thats why i reported when i did but not for me but for them and justice. today i found out he was finally indicted and has many more charges against him cuz of the testimony i gave and my brave one great niece. my other niece is older so for her this is justice too. now he is going before the judge in several days time. the victim advicate said they were too worried of my health conditions and nerves and i had been through more than i could bare they will take it from here for me but still i know this is not at an end yet not untill he finally is sentenced and to prison he will go. this man i thought of as someone i loved i found out i really never knew i thought i knew him so well but now i found i was mistaken. for the past several days but mostly last weekend i was so suicidle. but the Lord sent some of those friends that He knew i needed and with that my life was saved. i am now still in my appartment but this new walk of lifes path i no longer have that man by my side. now i have someone who has been there all along and who for such a time i should have listened more. He is my Lord and Savior and Him i shall praise for He has saved me again and this time my path will be with Him. I have no friends around where i live because so many have hurt me and even my family as done that so many times. Only the Lord see's deep within me and knows what needs i need. to Him i give my pain and in return He gave me His peace. the detective said to me you are such a strong woman, and in this you are the hero and you did what you knew had to be done. He said i was brave and courageious. and He said he had great respect for me. i thank him and cried for with in i was so scared. But now i see so many things i thought id never see again and that is to look up and see so many of the lords blessings. I need to look alot more and now i know i will. but ive never lived alone like i am right now. but a dear friend said you are never alone. He is with you and He is only a breath away. so here is my story. but my journey is not over i have much more to do but now i need prayer for still many emotions run through my heart and wonder if one day i will find someone who will love me like ive never been loved before. I know the Lord He loves me this i know but im talking of that soulmate. but for now i know i must have self time and for time and the Lord to do alot of healing within me and my body. just thought i would open up from within and share what not very many know of me. and some i have never told till now in this post. please pray for me and my family and for that man i thought i knew for He needs the Lord too. and pray for lost and the broken for they need Him too. for my ex he is going to pay in mans law now but he will also have to pay in God's please pray for healing for all that has been touched by this tragic and sad case. GBY and a hug for you that have taken time to read this and pray for all concerned. thank you hugs Diana

[Mackenaw]

Hello Diana,

I am sending up prayers to our Lord in the name of Jesus, on your behalf, and on behalf of those involved. May God's blessed and perfect will be done.

There is hope in our Lord Jesus, and He loves you so very much.

God bless and keep you, Diana.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[diana]

update on whats happening now with the situation. I went infront of grand jury and they did indite him and the other day he had a preliminary hearing. i had to deal with some reporters who tried to cause me alot of stress, but infact it did do just that and when i had to call police to get them to leave, shortly after that i had a bad siezure. i have a few life threatening medical condition and epilepsy is one of them. the police made sure i was helped and made safe. and also that no one further comes to my home to cause anymore stress and anxiety on me. i have been under doctors orders strict bed rest. my great niece was so brave when she went in front of the grand jury too. we gave each other a hug and incuraged each other and gave comfort to one another. ive been working on trying to get my health better and deal with all the emotions that this thing has done to me. im also focusing on God too and His word and those i fellowship with so that i may gain strenght and incoragement, healing. i feel blessed that all of you here are so awsome and i feel God led me to this site, i have been so blessed because of it and my faith and strenght, confidence and self asteem and several other things have really started to grow again and take even a deeper root in my life. i take things now one day at a time. thank you for your prayers and the conforting things you let me know mack GBY. with all your prayers i have been showing alot of improvement. i am eating more now and getting more sleep and one day at time healing step by step thank you all for you are truely an awesome and God loving family here and im so blessed to be a part of it. see ya all in chat or you can message me or add me as a friend. i dont have any friends here were i live so all of you are my friends and family. may God Bless you and keep you safe till we meet again and peace be with you hugs :D

[Dora]

I just wanted to give you a hug and let you know I care.
I'm glad that is all over with for you. I know it must of been horrible. I feel for you.
Praying you find some much needed rest especially rest from the mental struggles so much of this can cause.

[dema]