Christianity Oasis Forum

[Bones]

Hello,
I am so excited to be starting this program! I'm not sure what exactly to write in the journal, but hopefully I'll think of something. I am also going to try to do this everyday for the 14 days, but I can't promise anything. Well, here goes day 1...

When I was younger I was very close to God. He was always right there and helped me through everything. I spoke to him constantly and He spoke to me. He lead me and guided me to where He wanted me to go and who He wanted me to be. It was an awesome part of my life! That lasted for roughly 8 years (not counting when I was really young). I loved having such a close relationship with Him! When I was 18 I started to drift away from Him. It happened slowly, but before I knew it I was no longer looking to Him in every aspect of my life. I was doing what I wanted when I wanted and sometimes I would tell Him flat out that I didn't really care what He thought (I know ). Then I found I had no one to turn to. I tried turning to people but they always seemed to have alterior motives and never really cared about me, only their own gains. I fought with everyone I loved (family, friends), probably because they were telling me I was headed down a dark path and I didn't want to hear it. As life went on and I faced more and more difficult situations I became very depressed. For 2 years I contemplated killing myself every day. The only thing that stopped me from doing it is that I know families that have dealt with suicide, and I just couldn't do that to my family. But I started thinking of ways to make it look like an accident and putting myself in dangerous situations just hoping I wouldn't make it out alive. Although I did have to visit the hospital a time or two, God kept me alive through it all. Over the last several years I've tried to get back to that place I had once been with Him. I just had no idea where to start. I tried praying, reading my Bible, going to church but none of it felt like it was helping. I never felt God or heard Him. I figured He'd given up on me and that I had my chance and blew it. But then I started talking to a few of my old Christian friends and asked them to pray for me. Still for 2 years nothing happened but I kept trying. I am happy to say that God spoke to me on Sunday. He told me that His grace is enough and He's not mad at me.
I am hoping to establish a church home in my new city and grow closer to God, hopefully to never turn away again! It won't be easy, I have several bad habits I will need to get rid of (including but not limited to: various drugs, language, lifestyle, etc.). If you have a moment and could pray for me I would appreciate it. And hopefully I will be back tomorrow

[realtmg]

Bones,
Very nice post!
Welcome to oasis.
Will see what you have to say tomorrow.

GBU Bro

Real

[Bones]

Thank you for the encouragment and warm welcome