Christianity Oasis Forum

[popples]

I dont feel I could be a good dad anymore, and certainly not a good husband. I get mad alot and am not very honest with my wife. I hit my wife if she doesnt please me, I hit her recently too when she said she wanted to keep the baby. For the first 21 years things were great but I got bored with things my wife seemed like a barbie doll so organised always had my meals ready and on time, seemed intimidated a bit and maybe I created it, but I dint reallise I had. One night a year ago I took some speed with a mate slept with a girl from the pub and have seen her probally a dozen times since, no one has a clue I have been using for the past year and about the girl, I run my own business so I put on a good front, In fact I just reallised Gwen could read this and then she will know, (WOW Eric your actually being honest for the first time) It has become normal so why is it now feeling different/wrong?
When I started using speed I decided I was the man of the house and Gwen would start doing what I said and if she didnt I would make her, (I cant believe I have actually told you this but Im spinning out a bit and will finish about what I make her do, because it is actually making me feel better talking about it. I will come back and finish Ive just reallized all I said.
Bye for now

[Gods Sheep]

I think the reason things seem so different now when it has been the normal for so long is because now you are opening up and letting God in. God won't work through pride but he works his biggest and most profound miracles through brokenness/humility. I think you are really starting to feel the tug on your heat right now from God. The fact that you are willing to come here and explain all you have tells me this is true. He wants to restore you and restore your relationship with your wife and he wants to be your shepherd if you will allow him to be. He can and will guide you to be who you were meant to be if you will be his sheep and follow him. He made you and he knows you better than you could possible ever know yourself. Open up to God and let him teach you how to be the man you can be, The man you were meant to be, The man he created you to be.

Again God Bless bro.

[vahn]

Hello again Eric

I have just one question for you which I will ask at the end of my reply .

You know Eric ? , We can sit here and spin-around all about our wants , wishes , and what we would like to see happen , and then add a bit of woe is me's to it to "spice-up" things to complete our mind-games with our spouses , (yes Eric , the flirting fling thing ? , it didn't get there by "mistake" nor did it get there for being "honest" either) .

Eric , brother , listen to me if you will , you need help brother , you have a sickness called addiction . That help is available for you to grab , it is free , and it is right here .

My question is , do you want that help and/or are you willing to DO something about YOUR need of that help .

Should your answer be a yes , then I suggest you stop drugging , put the speed and the booze down immediately , then , come back when sober , maybe then we will get somewhere .

However , should your answer be in the negative , then I would say , "You're a lot sicker than I thought"


In Christ , our Lord
vahn

[popples]

VAHN
Im really sorry but everything is happening so fast, I thought being honest was the right thing to do, well it did make me feel good, and maybe you are right maybe I should stop coming here until I stop what I am doing but I thought I had friends here that maybe could help me through the process, and you know Im not even sure if changing is what I want because Im not sure about the feelings Im having, Im no softy and dont normally talk about my life but I felt it was ok to do so here like I felt safe.... ok I was wrong sorry if you were affended. So maybe one day if I do get it together I will come back.

[vahn]

Eric

That is exactly my point ... You DO have friends here , and I am saying these things to you BECAUSE I consider you as a brother in Christ .

Truth is Truth brother , and I am well known around here for not mincing words , should I decide to go "softy" on you , I will be doing you more harm than you're doing yourself .

No one said not to come back here . What I said is to put the drink and drug down before you do , otherwise we will be playing the same game over and over again . No time for that , we will be depriving others who REALLY need AND WANT the help we offer .

By the way , just i case you were wandering how I came about to finding out the truth about yourself ? .... Well ... I used to do the EXACT same things as you are now in my drinking and drugging days . So , you see brother ? .... You can't con a con !!!

[dema]

Eric, I haven't said anything lately because I didn't feel a need. But, please, realize that people are all different. God does work through people and he can work through you. Please, pray and follow the peace. And please, read the posts from Pine and me again. I don't have any desire to blame anybody for anything. I think blame is the devil's tool. I am sure of it. Please, pray and listen in your heart. May God be with you. We are NOT all the same. We are all different people on our different journeys.

[realtmg]

Thank You jen!
God saw fit for me not to have any children and i love kids dearly.
May god's will be done with this issue.
I pray you make the right decision.
Many praying and care for you.

GBU

Real

[Christianity Oasis]

Greetings folks,

We had to remove a couple of posts from this thread as they are against the policy of this Ministry.

We understand this is a VERY sensitive subject and that emotions can overcome us at times, but please do not use abusive conversation within these forums. This will only have the one(s) spoken to in such a manner respond with more abusive conversation, due to feeling hurt or attacked.

This is against the terms of use agreement and we will be forced to act as to protect the lil ones.

We have many lost and hurting souls who are led here who do NOT need to be reading such posts and these type of posts will only run the TRULY needy ....... AWAY.

Please consider this plea for peace, understanding and love to prevail.

Luv all of ya

[Dora]

I dont feel I could be a good dad anymore, and certainly not a good husband. I get mad alot and am not very honest with my wife. I hit my wife if she doesnt please me, I hit her recently too when she said she wanted to keep the baby. For the first 21 years things were great but I got bored with things my wife seemed like a barbie doll so organised always had my meals ready and on time, seemed intimidated a bit and maybe I created it, but I dint reallise I had. One night a year ago I took some speed with a mate slept with a girl from the pub and have seen her probally a dozen times since, no one has a clue I have been using for the past year and about the girl, I run my own business so I put on a good front, In fact I just reallised Gwen could read this and then she will know, (WOW Eric your actually being honest for the first time) It has become normal so why is it now feeling different/wrong?
When I started using speed I decided I was the man of the house and Gwen would start doing what I said and if she didnt I would make her, (I cant believe I have actually told you this but Im spinning out a bit and will finish about what I make her do, because it is actually making me feel better talking about it. I will come back and finish Ive just reallized all I said.
Bye for now

I Am So Glad You Said All This!!! That wasn't so easy to admit but you did. First step to recovery is admitting.

You do need help and I think you can find help here as well as possibly seek out help through a marriage counselor and drug abuse counselor. Please!!!! For the sake of your family. It is possible this baby has just saved you, your career, and your marriage. Because drugs DESTROY! They destroy your body, your family, and your ability to continue to function professionally in society.

I hope you continue to share as you have.

And please please please stop hurting your wife. She is Gods child and this doesn't please Him. It hurts Him. And it hurts her. I think popples wants to love you and to have a normal family life with you. I think she will forgive you. I hope and pray you can forgive you.

Take care.

[dema]

Keep coming. Keep coming and keep asking God to change you. But keep coming. We are all a work in progress all our lives. And we need the body of Christ to keep changing and growing. Embrace change. Embrace God's will for you.

There are great studies on this site. There is cccc counselling. It is wonderful to do the studies and keep the journal and share and have others share with you.

God will bless you as you seek Him and grow. And God will bless your family.

Also, know that turning the other cheek takes great strength. Jesus did that. Jesus allowed people to abuse him when he could have summoned a cloud of angels. Jesus showed he was greater than his attackers by putting the ear back on the servant and by accepting punishment when he could have stricken them all down. By accepting the beatings, and death, he defeated Satan.

Children can rage and hurt and destroy. Ghandi and Martin Luther King demonstrated a greater strength. How much stronger one has to be to stand and quietly resist spittle and other demeaning treatment without striking back. To be beaten, and be strong and mighty in oneself, and not raise a fist in self-defense.

There is a mightiness in faith and love and peace that is greater than any strength of fist.

God bless you as you grow.

[popples]

New years eve was great Eric actually talked to me as if we were equal, we both made some resolutions... Its the happiest I had been all year. He even thanked me for bringing him to Oasis...

I laid on the floor wondering when he would stop I couldnt feel anything after the first few hits but I did think of god, I think that helped me through this time. He kept saying God wasnt real. He said he had been shown up as if he was a fool (I think that was because he felt it was the right place to be honest and not judged) I must have passed out at that point.

I awoke this morning in the same place on the floor in blood. I prayed and Im not sure if I have the baby or not, he isnt home so I dont know where he is, he wont answer his cell, and today is a public holiday, I cant see my doctor till tomorrow.

Im writing this because as Eric I too felt I could be honest here.
I hope I havnt said anything out of line, and Im still gonna come here I just am gonna pray eric will. I have really been touched by what some have said and you know some of the comments are like god was sitting with me talking to me.

Thankyou for the love those have shown.

[dema]

I am so sorry you were hurt. So sorry. I wrote you a PM. If you go to the top, it shows your PM's. If you click on that, you can see private messages. If you want to talk more privately, you can do it be replying or you can write to anybody who wrote you by clicking on the PM under their name.

I am so sorry you were hurt. Prayers for you.