Christianity Oasis Forum

[Dora]

( Staying away from gossip is getting a step closer to God... and away from trouble. Keep to your own life and pray for others is the best thing to do).

Amen to that!

Gossip kills.

[Dora]

I'm glad you've over come gossip Brenda.

One learns from very young age to talk amongst each other about others.

Popularity often comes from being able to entertain and often discussing horrible things about others is entertaining.

The root of the matter is they just want to be wanted. Isn't that really all we all want deep down inside is to be considered special and loved and accepted.

You are very bold in hushing the gossip. I condone you for that. Personally I am not bold. God has created us each one so uniquely that we have different ways of dealing with even this matter.

I find for me to say something such as....I really like talking to you, but not when we're talking about others. How are your kids? job? ect....ect. It plants a little seed that there are other things to talk about. Things that are honoring to God. And I don't loose a friendship, but help to guide the person to be a better person. Plus, then I don't become the center of her next gossip session because she seeks to soothe her hurt ego by finding wrong in me.

Now I had a close friend who we sometimes would vent about other people to each other. This wasn't healthy. When someone hurt her, it hurt me and I'd be upset at the person long after my friend forgave her and vise versa. We decided we had to stop venting about others. The two of us made an agreement that if we started talking bad about another person we had to end the conversation. It was difficult. I enjoyed talking to her. And right in the middle of a good vent she'd say something like I have to go now unless we talk about something else. Or I'd say to her I know you don't really want to tell me about what this person did so I'm going to help you by asking if we can change the subject. I was so grateful for this friend and she was grateful that I'd help her tame her tongue as well. Our friendship continues to this day because we are truthful yet loving and understanding. Out of all my friendships in real time, she's the gal friend that's meant the most to me because she was truthful yet always showed concern and love for me. A real jewel.

I've enjoyed this conversation Brenda. It's been a good reminder of how we are to love one another. Sometimes that comes through helping correct wrong behavior. Always with His gentle loving presence behind every move. May God bless you.

[Dora]

I wasn't implying you gossip Brenda.

I just don't think there's a single person in this world that hasn't fallen to some sort of gossip at some point in their lives and that is why I've said that you have over come it. Perhaps not the vicious kind that is intentionally spoken to cause great harm to others.

I think gossip can be a little touchy subject because the description can vary from person to person. One may believe it's speaking viciously to cause harm to another, spreading lies. Where another may believe speaking about what someone did, even if it's truth, to just a friend or two is considered gossip.

Ever been to a "prayer meeting" where someone tells all the bad things a person did or said in requesting prayer for that person?

From your shared words I can tell you are very much against gossip to the point of boldness to stop it.

God bless.

[realtmg]

Hello,
There are many chapters in the Book of Proverbs we can learn from and make wise choices from them.
Nice thread here.
Love overcometh all.
Thanks for sharing.

GBU


Real

[Gods Sheep]

Well to be honest EVERYONE is guilty to some degree of gossip. There are 3 different kinds of gossip that I can think of off the top of my head.

1 The gossip of seeing a friend or co-worker with a new pair of shoes and you have another individual come to you and ask you, Did you see Karen’s new shoes? You are like yea I saw them how can you not see them they are bright and loud and in my opinion dang ugly. The other says yea and they make her look a little like an elf too.
Is this gossip or is it just 2 people sharing there opinions with each other about someone else’s attire?


2 Hey John did you hear about Janet getting suspended from work for 3 days? John says no why is she suspended? Oh because they are investigating possible theft and she is suspended pending the outcome of the investigation. John says really? That blows me away she seemed to be such an honest person how ever there was a time that I recall someone missing a 20 dollar bill a few months ago and she had the perfect opportunity to take it and not be noticed and now it is all beginning to make sense.

This is an incident where 2 people are discussing their understanding about a situation that really is none of their business but it is still intended as a harmless conversation between 2 people that should not cause problems but does still have the potential of causing BIG problems and at least embarrassment at the very least if the conversation goes beyond the 2 having it.

Then there is the third which the example of the secretary fits perfectly where the gossip is an intentional attempt to hurt someone or even destroy their credibility and reputation at the very least.

Am I saying gossip is ever ok? No. What I am saying is we are ALL guilty of it to a degree from time to time and most of the time it is harmless even though it always has a potential to hurt people or even destroy reputations and careers.



Just my opinion and 2 cents worth.

[grandma dolittle]

James said in James 3: 5-8 that the tongue is the littlest member of our body, yet can defile the whole body. Gossip is never good, it never is repeated as it was told. However, we are all guilty of it, some malicious and some just informing. What family get together has not discussed family members not present, or friends talking about other friends. Some is informing, such as one mother warning another mother about a child their friends are with. What is gossip and what is the difference between gossip to informing and discussion?