Christianity Oasis Forum

[maddy]

My story is like you have heard before, dated a guy for 2 years. He broke my heart, my life fell apart. Now after 3 months I have gotten my life back on track. Got a new job, but now he started emailing me. Wanting to know can we be friends, really?? after he said all those hurtful things to me. I told him I forgave you, but I don't want to be friends with you. Was it the right thing to do?.

[sbennett]

Personally I think that forgiving him is most important and praying for him is good also. If you dont feel ready for a friendship then don't. Right now concentrate on you love for God and HE will direct your path.

[Bugsy]

You forgave him. Excellent!
You've moved on. Excellent!
He now wants to be friends. An answer to him is probably in order. Something like, "You broke my heart, and my life fell apart. God picked up the pieces, put me back together, made me a stronger person, and now I'm ready to live out the wonderful plan He has for me. I've forgiven you for the hurtful things you've said. It wasn't easy but with God's help, I did. How about if we both move forward but in separate directions. I pray the best for you as I'm sure you do for me."

Then block any further e-mails. You don't harbor any ill will toward him. It's OK not to have him on your "active friend" list. He fits quite nicely now in "long ago acquaintance." Now, move into your bright future with the Lord at your side. Blessings! Bugsy

[dema]

Be careful. Forgiveness doesn't mean being imprisoned. Forgiveness is letting go of the offense. It doesn't mean you have to stick around to have it done to you again.

Pray and listen to what God tells your heart.

[maddy]

Okay I have blocked him so I cant receive anything from him. God is amazing in healing and helping me. It seems that just as I move forward 2 steps the devil comes in and try to break everything up. One moment I feel like I am ontop of the world the next, I suddenly feel so alone and that I just want to end it all. I pray to God that he brings the correct people on my path so that I atleast have someone to talk to and share my feelings. I hate feeling so alone.

[vahn]

Hey maddy

Forgiveness is key in all we do , we need not also forget to forgive ourselves for having some "bad" thoughts toward others who , for whatever reason had done or said something to us to feel entertain some sour feelings . I mean , after all , when someone slaps me , my first thought is NOT forgiveness right ? , but here's the thing , when my THOUGHTS start causing me disturbance , it ceases to be the other person's actions that are causing them , it is rather my thoughts ... make sense ?

As far as him "wanting" to remain "friends" , 2 things come to my mind . 1- Is in a form of question , do you want to be friends so that YOU can feel better ? or is it that you want to be friends for US to feel better . ... 2 - Is in the form of a rather statement , I would say (if it were me that is) ... Sure , we can be friends , YOU can start anytime !!! Then I will decide whether I want to stay in it or not !! (we KNOW what happened the last time!!)

Luv ya
In Christ , our Lord
vahn