Christianity Oasis Forum

[dema]

I am on step 7. This lesson really speaks to where I am and what I need to hear. I just read about Kimby's journey and think it will be better if I add on to my journal instead of starting a new topic each day.

I have been struggling with the battle of the minutes for years now. The recession has given me too many hours to fill. I thought that I would want to retire someday and try to be a writer. I doubt seriously, now, that I would ever want that. I write anyway, letters to editors; articles to online magazines; journal entries , and work - good solid work accomplishing things with other people is a huge blessing. I am working part-time now.

During this recession I saw several people fall apart, and their lives disintegrate, due to fear of something that never happened - or at least did not happen until substantially after they disintegrated.

It makes me angry that there is this spiritual battle. I have seen the way my mind has been tricked. Sometimes it is amazing the way our perceptions can be temporarily warped. The only answer I have found for dealing with it is to get to a place of peace. I haven't figured out how to stay there.

Anyway, this lesson 7 was right on target. The challenge is to be mindful every minute. Or a greater proportion of them anyway.

My husband has been a challenge to this battle of the minutes. We are now using safe words. And I have told him that I absolutely will not tolerate continued venting. Discussion of problems, yes. One or two vents about personal issues, okay. But continued venting about the war in Afghanistan and other issues is just absolutely off limits. He would fill the house with negative energy for many, many hours a day for days in a row. He was very hurt at actually being shut down on this. I have continually told him how much I dislike it. But, he's finally understood that it is a dealbreaker. I won't live in it. And he's decided that he loves me more than the venting. Thank God.

[sbennett]

hey dema....yes it is a struggle to get the mind going in the right direction and to stay there. I pray that you continue to get closer the Christ in your journey and that you and your husband will have lots of positive things to talk about in the days to come!

[dema]

I'm very pleased with the denominational neutraliity and Biblical accuracy of this site.
And this study does really address the battle of the minutes that has been an ongoing struggle for me.

[Dora]

Perhaps because it is a battle that is so real and a struggle for many if not all at some point in their lives.

Thank you dema for sharing. Your post has been a reminder to me of what I should be doing to fight my own battle in the mind. GBU!!!

[dema]

I have recovered from the issue in this entry and really don't want to leave my more negative responses on line.

[Dora]

He came in this morning with a counselling appointment. It put me in a tizzy. I haven't gotten myself back together over it.

That's where the renewing of the mind comes in.

The minister gave me looks of sympathy and said he thought the marriage couldn't be saved.

Do not underestimate the power of God. He can do anything.

I do sympathize with you and your situation. But I also have seen God salvage very rocky relationships and brought wonderful things into it.

I'm not saying stay or leave. That is between you and God.

You've seen change. Focus on that. Focus on the good things that have taken place. We all have issues and times of sinful behavior. Which can be smoothed out of our flesh. If the person is willing. During this time allow God to work on smoothing out things with in you that He wants to rid from you.

What is difficult in marriage is you were raised one way, he was raised another. The two come together and we can find things about each other that seem weird to one but perfectly normal to the other. Things that make us raise a brow. Things that can even make us despise each other. Love over comes all that.

Understand that he is battling the same battle you are. Not of flesh and blood but that of a spiritual nature. As well as you both are lacking in understanding each other. Where there is understanding there is peace. By the way when God brings two together there is a spiritual battle waging to bring them apart. Sometimes one is blinded and doesn't see the battle and is led by the enemy in actions that are selfish and hurtful. If his eyes were opened I am certain he would choose differently. As we all would.

Focus forward on what he can be and pray for that. As well as thank God that He is working with in your husband to bring him closer to being the man God wants him to be. God can do all things. With in him and with in you.

God bless and keep you. Praying for you.

[momof3]

Hi dema0414..i dont think we've met yet, but nice to meet you and so glad the Lord led you here! you arent here by mistake.

Ive been reading your posts today, trying to catch up a little..but id like to ask you....what made you fall in love with your husband to begin with? What were the attributes, characteristics, strengths...what was it that drew you to him? Those things are true about him...and still exist somewhere within him. Marriage, though, living with another human, sharing our lives..shows us the whole person, both the positive AND the negative characteristics.

We cant change our spouses...but the Lord can. We can choose to focus on those things that brought us together to begin with and pray about those things in our spouses that we have a problem with. I dont know the whole story here, but i do know that we are all born selfish, human, and go into marriage with our own personal baggage, humaness, and life experiences. These are things we have to pray about and leave to the Lord to change...both in ourselves and in our spouses.

Will be prayiing for you and your husband. May His perfect will be done in your marriage. He can do all things...You are on the right path. I pray He brings you peace through this.

in Jesus,
love momo

[dema]

Day 8 and I am still working on it. I am having difficulties in my marriage and I know that if I was "perfect" that I could de-escalate a lot of our issues. I also know that my husband is bizarre and non-Christian. But he is praying and he is adopting certain Christian principles.

Who writes these lessons? I have been a very studious Christian for going on 50 years and I am so very impressed with these lessons.

Shouting at the top of my lungs, "I don't want to fight." is one of those "The things that I don't want to do I do." .

[dema]

Today is a good lazy day. And the lesson was good. On target. Confirmed messages I have been getting from God from other channels.

[Dora]

I love those lazy days.
And the way He brings to us what we need.

Thank you again for being my encourager today. You've really blessed me. What a wonderful surprise you've given to me.

Merry Christmas dear sister.

[dema]

Ty Pine.

Still working through the lessons and through the site. It is a very big blessing.

[dema]

Day 11.