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Take a deep breath and step out.....

Postby amberwindsor » Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:13 pm

Stepping Stone 1.

Well now, I must say, this is much harder than I thought it would be. I suppose it has to do with me being a very quiet and keep-to-myself kind of person. But where there is a will, there is a way!

I'll start out by introducing myself.

My name's Amber, I'm 19 years old and married. (Despite what people say, I don't believe I married to young nor do I believe I have made a mistake :) )

On my mind.... -.- Amazing how your mind goes blank when you decide to embark on a journey huh?

Let's see.....The biggest thing on my mind is having to call in for an appointment for a counciler. I have known that I suffer from depression.....but it has never been this bad.

Wow......now that I think about it, most of my thoughts are negitive...that can't possibly be good...

*help* *help* *help* *help* *help* *help* *help* *help* *help*

*Pray*

Dear God, help me overcome the problems that are bothering me. Please help me to have the strength to continue this course and to seek the help that I need so that I can become closer to you.
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Postby vahn » Sun Nov 14, 2010 10:21 pm

Hello Amber

Glad you decided to embark on this journey , you are on the right track and in the right place .

There will be others coming along to walk with you on this journey , hand in there


In Christ , Our Lord
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Postby momof3 » Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:22 am

Hi Amber and welcome to Oasis! We are so glad you are here. Please know that you arent here by mistake. Jesus doesnt do anything by accident and He led you here to find the answers you are seeking. There is healing from the Holy Spirit within these steps. Remember to take one day at a time. There are some things that wont be pleasant to look at but know that you arent alone. Jesus wont take you down a path His grace wont cover. Again, so glad you are here.

In Jesus,
luv momo *Halo*
James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up.
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Postby Dora » Mon Nov 15, 2010 12:53 pm

Hello Amber *Wave* I married when I was 18. That was over 20 years ago and I am still married to the same man. God is good. Who can judge what God has created. I can't say it was easy, but with Gods help we persisted and made it through. You do the same, k? ;)

Glad to see you have begun this study. No reason to fear. We are all family here. No judgment. Post what comes to mind. I find it best to post as I am reading or else I forget. :oops: :oops: :oops:

Hope to get the opportunity to see how well you do on day 2. God is with you. Seek Him. He loves ya and cares about every portion of your life. Even the ugly ones we don't care to look at, He cares to remove so we can walk in freedom. That is His perfect plan. :)

Take care and stay close to Him. *hug* GB! Prayers are rising for you as you walk this path. *Pray*
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Postby sbennett » Mon Nov 15, 2010 2:26 pm

*hug* Welcome Amber!! I am so glad that you are here and doing the steps. Depression is sooooo hard to deal with. I have trouble with it myself and it just makes me feel horrible and I get the negative thoughts too. But God does bring joy in the healing. *Pray* Keep praying and believe God will help you overcome.

I married when I was 20. I loved my husband and we had a great marriage for 5 years. He was the one who could not stay faithful and he left me and 2 wonderful babies. His loss!! I pray your marriage grows and grows as you become closer th your Savior!!
*BigGrin* Again, welcome!!
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Postby amberwindsor » Mon Nov 15, 2010 6:04 pm

Stepping Stone 2.

I would like to start off by thanking everyone for their responses, they made me feel a little more at ease about doing this.

I loved the analogy of the garden in today's step! It helps me to visualize my problems (weeds) in a more physical form. By doing this I hope to be able to more easily identify and remove these problems so that I have a nice, neat garden.

I would suppose that one of the biggest weeds in my garden right now is that I'm a compuslive liar. Don't know why, I'll even lie about trivial things. Along with this comes my biggest failure....for some odd reason I felt the need to make up and imaginary boyfriend several years ago and have convinced not only myself, but others that he had abused me. It isn't something to joke about and I have no idea what convinced me to do it. Prehaps it was because I wasn't willing to accept that the problems with my back and legs was caused by being overweight. :cry: I have tried to control it before, but things just seem to slip out before I have a chance to think about them.

Another problem I need to weed out is my constant fussing. I have to be the worst person about making a big deal out of a little problem...it drives my husband nuts. (Not that he wasn't already half-way there to begin with :) ) That in and of itself is my fault, I'm just a fussy person.

Yah!!!! I am chopping down the weeds in my garden so that it can be beautiful!!! *AngelYellow*

Dear God, you're a great guy. I'm glad you have people who are so supportive and nice on your side. Help me to keep the weeds out of my garden so that we may walk through it together for many years to come.

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Postby vahn » Mon Nov 15, 2010 6:29 pm

Hello again Amber

I would suppose that one of the biggest weeds in my garden right now is that I'm a compuslive liar.


Hmm , now how should we believe if you are telling us you are really here . :)

I am just joking Amber , I am glad to see you feeling at ease enough to open up a bit , well , "a bit" would be an understatement , I don't know if you realize it or not , but you already took out a hefty chunk of a clump .

Keep up the good work , it gets easier and much better .


In Christ , our Lord
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Postby amberwindsor » Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:18 pm

Stepping Stone 3.

There really isn't much to say tonight that doesn't go into my prayer writing....so I guess I'll just go straight to that then! *laughter*

Dear God,

It is wonderful to know that you are willing to give away your Grace to us. It shows me that you truly do believe that each and every one of us humans are special.

I'm so glad that you were willing to allow your ONLY SON to die so that we could be saved.

Please forgive me for everything I've done in my life, all the lies I've spread and all the people I've hurt.
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Postby momof3 » Wed Nov 17, 2010 9:15 pm

standing in prayer with you, sister. Forgive and be forgiven. His grace is sufficient. God bless you!

in Jesus,
luv momo *Halo*
James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up.
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Postby Dora » Thu Nov 18, 2010 2:05 pm

Hello amber *Wave*

Catching up on your journal. :) Was wondering if you think the stories come from the need to feel like someone or feel important or perhaps feel accepted and loved?

God bless and keep you. Sending my love and prayers. *Pray*

*hug*
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Postby amberwindsor » Thu Nov 18, 2010 8:21 pm

Hello there Pine and Momof3!

Yes, catching up, but NOT doubling up, as was advised. :) I was having bad internet problems the other day which is why I wasn't able to continue with my steps.

To answer your question Pine, I believe that most of the stories came from a need to have attention. I had a rough childhood (rough for me anyways, although compared to some of the childhoods other people have had, it really isn't all that bad!) With my father gone on the road all the time and my mother in a constant drunken or drugged up state, I would make up lies at school to earn the attention of my classmates. From there it just kept getting worse and worse until I was making up fake boyfriends and all that. It even caused me to get into trouble in high school.

Oh and Vahn, I had no idea that by simply being able to talk a little more freely was such a big part of this!

Now, to move on to Stepping Stone 4.

I must say I rather enjoyed this stepping stone, and I found much truth in it. I struggle with forgiving others on a regular basis and I don't believe that I have ever truely forgiven myself for anything. I was rasied to always be willing to accept the consequences of my actions, which has caused me to believe to a degree that some people don't deserve to be forgiven, and I most certainly didn't deserve it.

Forgiveness is something that I really must work hard on doing as well as forgetting. I think I'm worse and forgetting than forgiving! *lost*

I really appreciate everyone's support on my little journey, it has made it so much easier, ya'll have no idea. I also appreciate all the prayers and thoughts, maybe that's part of why it's becoming easier and easier.

Dear God, Help me to learn to forgive and forget, not only for others, but for myself as well. Out of all of the challenges so far, this will most certainly be the hardest one yet. I will defiantly need your help forgiving my mother God, her not being there isn't the easiest thing to forgive, OR forget!
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Postby Mackenaw » Fri Nov 19, 2010 4:06 am

Hello Amberwindsor :)

God bless you this day.

Sounds like you are really digesting what the Study is pointing out in God's Word. Awesome!!!

Continue seeking The Lord with all your heart.

Prayers are rising to our Lord, on your behalf. God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack
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