Christianity Oasis Forum

by **Dora** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:38 pm

Angelbaby has anyone ever shared with you the thought of how healing is like onion peels. You strip off one layer at a time.

As far as loving God how can a person fall in love if they don't know the person or never meet the person only hear about the person from time to time. Seek Him through prayer and reading of His word. Seek Him diligently. You won't regret it.

When you focus on the pain and hurt you can not forgive. Focusing on those things brings about the anger. You don't have to work on the past 24/7. Set aside time during the study to work on the past, then set the past aside and breath. To much at once will be over whelming.

You have much potential to help others who are where you were. Because you know where they are. You've been there and felt it.

I'm feeling some anger and unforgiveness myself. Check out Romans 8. Read it in different versions. The solution is live on Gods terms. Are you willing?

by **angelbaby** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:55 pm

The fact is this my journal. I posted it for me. I don't mind people reading it, and I don't mind people posting. Honestly to me, I don't find it a big deal if someone reads or post period. This journal is just my thoughts and opinions about lessons and life. I honestly regret at times opening this jounral. I feel like some people's expectations are so high that I cannot possibly meet them. Does anyone realize how discouraging that is to me? I am trying to be transparent and honest about where I am at. I am not wanting the feeling of being judged. I am not wanting the feeling that I am just not good enough. I am not liking the fact I feel like everything that I doing is completely wrong. I don't like the feeling that I can't do anything right. The whole point of this journal was just to be real. I just wanted to be real with people for once in my life. Now, I feel completely like I am withedrawing in myself. My worst fears are becoming reality. I am absolutely hate it.

by **vahn** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:15 pm

Hello again angelbaby

Terribly sorry ... I thought this was the CCCC forum ... Maybe if I were to try and check the personal journals forum I'd get a better chance finding people who would LIKE TO DO something with their issues there .

In Christ , our Lord

by **mlg** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:26 pm

angelbaby,

*hug*

my sweet sister please know that your journal is just that yours...I understand that sometimes you may feel pressured by the responses you receive from others...it's not because they are meaning to sound judgemental...as I know they probably just want to help....but the computer can often be cold and emotionless and what is said may come off that way.

I am so sorry you are feeling pressured or hurt by some of the responses here. I hope you will hang in there with us...and see that we care about you...and just want the best for you.

May you find the Love of God within sis...cuz He is there holding you.

luv ya lots precious sis

by **Mackenaw** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:31 pm

Hello Angelbaby *hug*

It is not required that you post your "journal" and private thoughts here, in fact, the Study says you can choose to write in your own private diary at home, or you can blog post in the CCCC Forum and get responses from others. The choice is yours.

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Mack

by **angelbaby** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:55 pm

I really liked the journal in the beginning. The fact is I have gotten alot from this journal. I have learned a lot. I like to be able to ask questions and get responses. I am not going to give up the journal. I really debated it, but I am not. I am going to be more cautious of how much I let my feelings of obligation and expectation of others affect me. I want to get back to the place where I feel the journal is a safe place. I want to get to the place where I enjoy the journal process.

by **Tam** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 7:05 am

Angelbaby....you know that I love you bunches
I just wanna say , sometimes people will say things here that do hurt your feelings, make you angry or stuff like that. It has happen to me many many times in my journaling. What I have leard to do is that is someone says something I don't like, I search deep within and find out if what they are saying is true. Then I ask God to help me with it.

You are right, this is not a place to be judged but a place to feel encouraged, loved and accepted. Things need to be said in that manner of encouragement, love and acceptance. I am truly sorry if anything I have posted to you has been in any other way. I am sorry if I sound judgemental to you because my dear....I have absolutely NO RIGHT judging you. Please fogive me if that is how I appear.

You are doing so good with the steps and posting here in the CCCC with your progress. Thank you for sharing this journey with us.
Thank you for being real with us!
Love ya girl!

by **Dora** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 9:51 am

Do you know what I'm saying? *hug*

Do you know what I'm saying? *dunno*

Do you know what I"m saying? *Doh*

Do you know what I'm saying? *hah*

Do you know what I'm saying? *ReallyConfused*

Do you know what I'm saying? *ugh*

Do you know what I'm saying? *ohyeah*

Do you know what I'm saying?

Those same words can come across with nine different meanings. Probably more if I kept digging.

We tend to think we know what someone is saying but with out the help of body language we really don't know. Even then we can take what others say wrong.

The same with what others are thinking. We really don't know.

It is so very important to go by what the spirit says instead of what our emotions say.

Someone can encourage me and to me it feels like they are saying I'm not good enough. Wow! Two totally different thoughts! How?! Perhaps at times we are so use to keeping ourselves in a victim mode that we take others words as harmful when in truth they couldn't of been filled with more love and concern towards us.

Jill posted a few thoughts in the spiritual growth forum on victim mentality. I suggest you read it and take from it what fits you. I'm not saying it all will fit you. But I know some fit me.

I to have been where you were. Allowed kind words to hurt. Because I do not know what's behind them. Perhaps we get use to the negative and sarcasm so we reject anything is pure. I've also been up to my neck in anger because of what was done to me and even knee deep in anger because I felt misunderstood.

I've felt like others think I need to just be over it already. I don't think anyone does. I think they just want so badly for the people they love and care about to grasp freedom that it comes across at times that we are expected to be there already. I've probably done that to you too. We all know and understand healing comes in portions at times. Most of the time. Perhaps the one who is putting the pressure on us to be over it already is ourselves and so we think others think this as well.

I love you sis. I do. I pray for you every day. God knows your pain and He has come to help. He is on your side.

by **Christianity Oasis** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:48 am

AMEN Pine ...

This is so very true.

I have seen so many misunderstandings become issues, even between friends ... Because of this communication method (Computer)

Even happens in C-O-O-L Church and when I share in chat rooms.

I believe this is the case here as well.

Nobody is trying to pressure anyone.

We just care about ya and try and share His words thru our vessels on this computer with cold circuits where a warm heart is supposed to be and it can come off wrong at times.

Luv ya

by **vahn** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 11:48 am

So this guy goes to the Doctor.

"Doc i don't know whats wrong with me man, my whole body hurts. Every where i touch it hurts. I touch my head it hurts, i touch my shoulder it hurts, i touch my butt it hurts, im hurting all over i don't know whats wrong."

Doc says
"hop on the table and let's see whats wrong"

after examination doc comes back and says

"I got good news and not so good news. Good news there is absolutely nothing wrong with yr body, wether yr head shoulder or butt. What u got is a broken finger, thats the bad news."

I tell everybody whats wrong with me and they all "understand" that i had gone to the doctor and what the doctor's diagnosis was. Now everybody says "take aspirin".
I take an aspirin and guess what? No pain!

Now, aspirin wears off, pains comes back and not only that, the pain is getting worse. So... "take more aspirin" well it seems like the more aspirin i am taking, the pain is getting worse!

Here comes this other person with no doctor degree or and in a very "misunderstanding" way and says.

"Did it ever occur to you, that the reason why your finger is getting hurt is because u got a hammer in your other hand?? Try to put the hammer down and see what happens! "

In plain English, This whole mess hinges on one quote.

Quote:

I am unwilling and will not just jump without a lot of trust being built (*with God , first). I have zero trust period for God

What i read is this:
Unless God washes my feet i will NOT put that hammer down.

In Christ, our Lord

by **angelbaby** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 9:45 pm

THIS is the reason you feel as you do when there is a problem. You have allowed something or someone to place thoughts in your mind (Soul) which you (At the time) accepted as TRUTH or at least the way things were and your emotions (spirit) reacted. You have allowed this thought to grieve your spirit and what you are experiencing is the result.

This probably best sums up where I have been this week. I am reacting to something that may or may not be true. I have decided most of my feelings are inacurate; however, I am not sure if all of them are inacurate.

I have a weed to share. I have probably shared a lot over the past few days. The weed is "I am a failure." The truth is plain simple I am not a failure. Do I really have anything to have failed about? No, I really didn't/don't have anything that I failed. The assignment was to help me learn about educational technology not for me to have the most perfect chart on the face of the planet. A typo is not the end of the world no one is going to sit there and laugh at you for it. I don't I guess the really question to myself is why do I care so much about what other people thinking of me? Why is my self worth tied to my preformance? I dont' know all good questions to ask.

P.S. That was day seven.

by **mlg** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:18 pm

angelbaby...I too was a people pleaser for a very long time...always worried about what others thought...so I'd try to please everyone and make them all happy...and in the meantime making myself a miserable person. Then I found that the only one who truly matters is God...and this is when I was able to see that making God happy should be first above anything...and then I was able to accept the fact that I couldn't do everything perfectly for everyone...and needed to only be myself to be joyful and happy.

luv ya

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