Christianity Oasis Forum

[Jonelle]

Have you ever have trouble in a relationship and all of sudden open your eyes to see what really is going on? You decide to call it quits and you can because you are not married. You finally stop lying to this person and tell them you are not in love with them and you don't want to be with him. I understand that this person is having a tough time dealing with this, but he's stressing me out because he can't let go. One minute he's blaming and the next he's apologizing. He says I love you like twenty million times during the day and seems to make me feel guilty about the decisions I made regarding him. I do have guilt issues and I start to question whether or not I made the right decision. I know in my heart I don't want this relationship anymore, but sometimes I get upset because he is struggling a little bit and he does the crying and woe me thing. Should I be concern if this person doesn't let go? He has done things to make me think I should, but at the same time I don't want to think that he will go to the extreme.

[Mackenaw]

Hello Jonelle,

God bless you this day.

You are going through a situation that many people experience. Whether or not you have a written document of marriage or not, you have had a long relationship with this man, and have shared in many things, included two children.

Dissolving a relationship, is not easy. But, if you are sure in your heart that you no longer want an intimate relationship with this man, and no longer be "one" with him, then you cannot share in the "conveniences" that come with and are included within a bonded relationship.

The two of you have been one flesh for a long time. The separation of what used to be "one" is going to have an impact, on both of you.

I know you have been patient, and want to give him ample opportunity to stay close with his children, but perhaps he could take the children to another location on specific and scheduled outings, rather than him coming into your house each and every morning. Of course that would mean you would have to be responsible for caring for your children, alone, in the mornings, but...separate is separate.

Jonelle, I do not minimize what you are going through, but when making a big, life-changing decision, we know that with that decision will come change -- change in everything. The "conveniences" and/or "perks" that came with being a couple joined as one -- well, they dissolve when separation comes.

As far as whether or not he can handle the change without him exploding -- I do not know. But, you cannot allow the planted thoughts of the enemy or anyone else to put you in bondage, or to keep you in bondage.

Ask for wisdom from The Lord. The Lord says He will give wisdom to us if we ask.

James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

For your information -- the above scripture, as with all scriptures, is for all -- both females and males. We are all "man" in the sense we are all mankind.

Matthew 10:16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.

I'm sending up prayers for you, to our Lord in the name of Jesus. God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Mack

[mlg]

Jonelle I honestly don't have the answers to your questions...but I know God does. I will keep you and your situation in prayer...and may God reveal to you the truth of what He believes is best for you to do.

luv ya