Christianity Oasis Forum

[Christianity Oasis]

Then we have TWO choices ...

Fight or Flight.

Just as it has always been.

It is time to say NO MORE FEAR.

I WANNA LIVE !!!

Lest you wither away into despondency.

There are many souls here who truly wanna hook you up with what they have learned.

HEAR them and HIS Words from them ... Not the voices who have always led ya astray.

You HEAR me ...

You may not know "multiplication" as of yet, but you are an educated and clever soul.

luv ya

[angelbaby]

I am thinking on tonight. I am realizing if I don't know the answer or don't know how. I tend to shut down. I'd shut down to protect myself from failure. If I do not know the answer, I won't do it. Shutting down will not solve the problem; it might even make the problem worse. At least, I won't fail. If I don't understand, I am not likely to ask for an explanation for fear that I will look stupid. The need to be perfect stands in my way a lot.

[Dora]

You are making progress. I see it.

And you are opening up.

You're going to do this.

I believe in you. And I believe in Him who is leading you towards healing.


Jesus loves you and so do I!

[angelbaby]

I am responding to a challenge and really stepping outside my comfort zone. So what is the challenge, you might ask? The challenge sounds simple: To tell my story. I guess, I should have expected this challenge after all I say that I want to be real and transparent. There is only one way to do that by taking off the mask. A part of taking off the mask is to tell your story. You have to acknowledge what has happened. As many times it has been said, you can't solve a problem until you know its roots. I am so jabbering, stalling on because I know I have class soon. I guess, I am anxious to let the truth be known of who I am and where I come from. So, lets take it a chunk at a time. I am the youngest of three children, excluding my half-sister (though I love her to pieces.) I have twin brother. When we were developing the womb, he took the majority of the growth hormones. I was born a very sick baby. I nearly died three times from "failure to thrive syndrome." I was saved thanks to God's grace and my mom (grandmother). My mom (grandmother) took care of me. This is a great blessing, but it also causes a great deal of pain. If you know anything about failure to thrive, studies have shown that the attention you give a child at that age greatly increases chances of survival. I love my mom (grandmother) for caring for me. I am grateful. I do not believe that I would be alive today without her intervention. However, it was not her place. She shouldn't have had to take on that responsiblity. She shouldn't have had to take on all the responsiblity that she has taken on for me. So, you may be asking well were are your parents? My biological father left when I was a baby. I don't remember anything about him. He sent me a christmas card and birthday card one year when I was a teen. He also recently tried to contact me, but I am not even sure and told him so what to think of trying to talk to him. My bio-mom, Mary Linda, is around. She has been "around" (using term loosely) all of my life. I will see her once every six months or so. Then, I may see her for four weeks in a row, and then, she is gone again. I mean she still lives in same town, same place. It is not like she gets up and runs away. She just lives a completely separate life from me. My siblings and I were reared together until I was in about second grade. Then, my siblings went to live my bio-mom. I chose to stay with my mom (grandmother). I think this decision again saved my life. Ok, so I shared alot, and I could go on. However, I have class in fifteen minutes so this will have to wait. Besides, I think that is enough information to process. I just realize after getting started how hard it is to stop.

[Christianity Oasis]

This is the story of many of God's chosen ...

But, these souls find peace in this TRUTH:

Psalm 27:10
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

Then it is our turn to forsake that pain within and choose HIM as our FATHER.

On the other side of the coin ...

Many who are called, have and do choose to forsake all they have to serve Him.

Matthew 19:29
And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.

It is TOUGH at times ... But the reward is Eternal Life with our Lord and we pray that the Lord will send someone to reach those we love.

They can NOT hear us as even a prophet is not without honor, cept from his own kin and even in his own home.

Mark 6:4
But Jesus, said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, but in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house.

So, perhaps ponder on these two truths and know that if you have truly lost all, that the Lord is there to take you up and you will fill the void within by serving Him.

And ... You are blessed as you will not have to feel what it is like to have to forsake them.


Luv ya

[angelbaby]

Then it is our turn to forsake that pain within and choose HIM as our FATHER.

I have a hard time conceptualizing this. I have heard it many times over, but I seem to relate God to my bio-father so I am not even truly sure what look like. I can only relate to experience that I have had with most men which is distance/abandonment or punishment. I have a hard time viewing God differently.

Many who are called, have and do choose to forsake all they have to serve Him.

Never thought of it like that. I am not totally sure what to make of it. I guess, it is apart of surrender/sacrifice.


I read day one again. I think this time I am just going to pull some parts that I like and things that I just question. One seems silly to me, but no silly question right. The sily question to get it out of the way. What does it mean when it says: "LOVE IS BLIND ... BUT FRIENDSHIP, IS CLAIRVOYANT." I am curious to know what it means. The thing I liked the most in the study was the passage about the castle. That is how I learn best by relating concepts.

This pain causes us to create our own spiritual walls. A castle if you will, which we create around us. We dig a moat around this castle and fill it with things that man dares not look upon, much less touch. We lift the drawbridge and run to the highest window in our castle and grant audience to those who we encounter from this high window as to protect ourselves from ever feeling the pain from past experiences again.
This self defense mechanism within us, causes us to feel as if it is us against the world and over time, all of the negative BELIEFS begin to create our environment and as Jesus said .... Mountains are moved.
The problem is ... These mountains (Problems) are being dropped on us ... BY US. Our task is not to tear down the walls of your spiritual castle, but rather to find a more effective way of dealing with the problems within by exposing them to the light of TRUTH ...

I do have a question on this. What does it mean when it says: "These moutains (problems) are being dropped on by us." Is this taling about our beliefs/thoughts? Can all our problems be caused by us? (I assume not all but a majority.)

[Christianity Oasis]

I have a hard time conceptualizing this. I have heard it many times over, but I seem to relate God to my bio-father so I am not even truly sure what look like. I can only relate to experience that I have had with most men which is distance/abandonment or punishment. I have a hard time viewing God differently.

You have shared TRUTH and this TRUTH shall set you FREE.

I seem to relate God to my bio-father ....... I can only relate to experience that I have had with most men which is distance/abandonment or punishment

THIS is the "addition" problem that hinders you from moving forward as to be able to comprehend the multiplication ahead on this path.

I understand completely WHY you naturally chose to compare God to your biological dad and other males, but that is the origin of the problem.

It just aint TRUTH.

So in essence, you are BELIEVING a LIE and therefore living a life in darkness, based upon said lie.

Soooooooo, let's do a lil addition ...

What destroys darkness?

LIGHT

What destroys a lie?

TRUTH

So, if ya wanna walk and live in the LIGHT, you gotta replace that lie with TRUTH.

And here is TRUTH ...

Your dad and your Heavenly Father are NOT alike at all.

You can discern this buy checking the fruits of each. What they DID and DO for you.

You have shared that ONE abandoned you.

The other ... Allowed His ONLY Son to experience such horrible things that a soul closes their eyes when they look upon it, even unto death itself so that YOU and I could have a chance to LIVE.

John 3:16 ... For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

It is important to understand that this Son of God, CHOSE to do so as well. He coulda backed out at any time KNOWING what He would endure for YOU and I.

Matthew 26:53-54 ... Thinkest thou that I cannot now pray to my Father, and He shall presently give me more than twelve legions of angels? But how then shall the scriptures be fulfilled, that thus it must be?

So ... Obviously we can NOT even begin to say your biological dad has the same fruits as your Heavenly Father.

But wait a sec...

You also spoke of other males which abandoned you, just like your dad did.

Maybe the Lord will abandon you at some point too.

Not a chance ...

Check out the last Words of Jesus in the Book of Matthew:

Matthew 28:20 ... I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.

That is a PROMISE from Jesus NEVER to abandon you.

Jesus is the WORD of God.

And God ... Can NOT lie.

Hebrews 6:18 ... That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us:

Did ya read of that "HOPE set before us" ???

Hope ... That's a tough rascal to obtain and maintain with a past filled with such pain and sorrow, is it not?

But we must CHOOSE to find that Hope.

HOPE is our anchor during worldly whirlwinds.

Hebrews 6:19 ... Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul.

And that HOPE can be found and established in ONE thing in this world.

And that is our LORD.

No, my friend ... Your dad and them fellas aint NOTHIN like our Father.

Speaking of friend ...

What does it mean when it says: "LOVE IS BLIND ... BUT FRIENDSHIP, IS CLAIRVOYANT." I am curious to know what it means.

When we are IN Love ... We oft times become blind.

At FIRST ... We tend to forget just about everything else around us that once mattered.

And as time passes, if for any reason something goes wrong in said realtionship which they titled "love" ... Out come the emotions and one or both become blinded to one another's words cuz of the emotional warfare within.

The end result is oft times ... Loss of Love.

But, with TRUE friendship, one can sense the other's thoughts and emotions cuz they do not carry the emotional baggage that a "love" relationship these days has (such as pride, fear of loss, anger, jealousy, lust, etc).

Proverbs 18:24 ... There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. 

TRUE friends love, no matter what. UNCONDITIONALLY.

Proverbs 17:17 ... A friend loveth at all times.  

This is NOT to say a friend will not share their true feelings with the other if they feel their friend is going astray ...

Proverbs 27:6 ... Faithful are the wounds of a friend ...

But, it is done in LOVE.

This is why EVERY relationship should be based upon FRIENDSHIP as for REAL Love to blossom.

This goes for the REAL-ationship we should have with God.

Many Christians and most non Christians see God as some far off deity who we worship blindly, in fear.

Well, I suppose one could interpret the Lord in such a way if they grabbed this Scripture and that one, but not if they read the Bible as a WHOLE.

No ... The Bible was NOT written to condemn us and encage us.

It is a LOVE letter intended to FREE us.

No, the Lord is our LOVING Father.

The Lord is our FRIEND.

John 15:14-15 ... Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

James 2:23 ... And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.

Ponder on this TRUTH.

I do have a question on this. What does it mean when it says: "These moutains (problems) are being dropped on by us." Is this talking about our beliefs/thoughts? Can all our problems be caused by us? (I assume not all but a majority.)

Absolutely ...

Think about it. You can wake up and feel pretty good and then start thinking about some of THAT stuff and SUDDENLY there are emotional and physical changes.

Here is a study on how and why that happens ...

http://www.christianityoasis.com/Keyword/Trinity.htm

If you do not get a leash on this (Which most do not know not to do, early on in the Christian walk) Addictions can occur. Your body can even start CRAVING things that YOU do not wanna do, but BELIEVE you have to find that false and temporal peace or escape and that is usually cuz you created a habit of doing whatever it is ... Like cutting.

Sounds like such a ... GAMBLE not to try and get a leash on it.

With God ... All things ARE possible.

You are on the right path.

Just choose to continue.



Luv ya

[angelbaby]

I am feeling little overwhelmed by all information you gave O. I guess, I'll comment on the first about God not being like earthly father/men. It seems/feels like a large jump to believe that he isn't like the. I guess, all has to do with trust. It is terrifying thought to leap into some unknown place with unpredictablity of what is going to happen. For me, I think that is most difficult. I have the need to control/organizing my enviornment things around me to protect myself. I need a set of predictabillity. This I cannot predict. I have to just trust. Reality, I don't trust anyone or anything. Trust is a foreign term. I am just going to reply to that first part for now. Don't want to feel anymore overwhelmed by information.

[angelbaby]

Day two again, I have lots of weeds in my garden that have already been identified. I percieve God differently than the way he actually is. I see myself as having to be perfect. I am sure that I am leaving out some things, but it is after all three in the morning. Rereading what O wrote about friendship, I am thinking that I may not have a very good grasp of true friendship. I have a couple close friends, and we are very open about our thoughts and feelings about each other. However, I am still very closed off even from my best friends. I told one of my friends about how deep I was hurt, but I really don't go to them when the pain comes. I keep the pain and struggle to myself. I am more the one if a friend has a problem. I am usually the one she turns to for advice or to listen. I could feel like falling apart myself, but I still will be there listening and even giving advice to help them. It is like it is okay for everyone else to fall apart. However, I have to be the strong one who never reveals how she truly feels. I rarely even speak when I am with my friends. I listen. I keep my thoughts, most of the time. Though, I would say that I am very open with my opinions to my best friends. I feel like that I am rambling now. I guess, I am just trying to make sure my point is understood. Sometimes, I don't feel as though I am very accurate at making my point understood.

But, with TRUE friendship, one can sense the other's thoughts and emotions cuz they do not carry the emotional baggage that a "love" relationship these days has (such as pride, fear of loss, anger, jealousy, lust, etc).

That confuses me. I think cause I don't have a reference point.

[Dora]

It seems/feels like a large jump to believe that he isn't like the. I guess, all has to do with trust. It is terrifying thought to leap into some unknown place with unpredictablity of what is going to happen

.

I know it's scary but once you take this leap of faith you'll see it's not painful at all. You'll love it there.

[Christianity Oasis]

I dunno ... I find that you make your point very well understood when sharing how your soul feels.


In the coming days ...

As you weed, seed and feed ... Remember that it takes time before you see the fruit, just as it is with all of God's creations.

As babes, we are unable to do anything at first, then we crawl, try and walk, fall many times, but before ya know it ... We are running in a race. And if we put everything we have into said race. We will overcome.

Point is ... It is a healing and growing process within.

It takes time to heal a wounded body, but even longer to heal a wounded soul.

Be patient during the rehab of the soul ...

Do not feel you have to or should expect to see immediate complete change.

God does not demand this of us and neither should we demand it of ourselves.

Nehhhhhhh, it will be lil things, here and there as we evolve into what we are to be, much like the caterpillar changes into a beautiful butterfly who is truly FREE to fly.

True Trust and Love for the Lord, takes time to establish.

Every Christian is still in the learning and purification process.

One more thing ... God loves you and has brought you to a place of potential healing with so many of His children, who were also led here, who DO hear you and DO want to walk with ya and have no intent on hurting ya.

Consider giving em a chance ... Then you will have your reference point.



Luv ya

[deetu]

You are doing good angel. Baby steps out of your comfort zone...little at a time.