Christianity Oasis Forum

[RainyKnight]

The devil has been riding my back all day. Every time I try to spend time with God my step mother comes to attack me with her words. I was watching td jakes when my step mother came and unplugged my computer. I am wrestling with thoughts even though God has told me that revenge belongs to the Lord. I was so tired of being verbally abused by her that I almost called the police on her. Only have two weeks left to spend with my dad and she wants to ruin my summer vacation by sending me back home. It seems as though the devil is trying to keep me from hanging out with my father. Even when my mom and dad divorced when I was five, and my first step mother and now my second. I need scripture to fight the devil correctly because right now I know that I am speaking curses over her life. Even though God is telling me that revenge is his I am telling him that I am going through a crisis right now and I don't need him tomorrow. I need him right now before I do something that I will regret for the rest of my life or worse something that will cause me to go to jail. I'm crying out loud Lord Help me now because I'm on the edge not giving up, but I'm bout to fight back in a way he doesn't approve of if I don't learn how to fight the devil with the word.

[Dora]

Hello Sister!

I hope you are able to find some quality time with your dad.

Speak blessings over her. Pray for her and ask God to bless her. At first it may be through gritted teeth, but if you continue the time will come you soften and begin to bless her because you want to.

Do things for her. Even if she rejects it. Buy her something she'd like, make her her favorite meal, she like flowers? Decorate her table with flowers for her. No matter how she responds, if you are doing it to bless her because the Lord will be pleased then you can turn to Him and know you pleased Him. Then continue to find things to do for her. Ask God to show you what He'd like you to do for her.

I'm sorry she is verbally attacking you. Seek the Lord during those moments and know that what she does to you she is doing to Him as well. She is lost and those are the ones He came for. Plants seeds of love and forgiveness. Perhaps you are the one sent to reach her. Must do so with out her knowing you are trying to.

Jesus Loves you and so do I!
Praying for you

John 15:19-21
Matthew 5:10

[mlg]

Hello Rainy,

May you take a moment to be still and know that God is God. And then trust that He will take care of this...sometimes we go through things that cause us a bit of suffering...and it's not because He doesn't care...it's because we have an enemy who looks to destroy us. God wants to help you rainy and He will...just be patient and give Him time to move...as God works in His timing...and He has the best of plans for you.

Praying for you rainy.

Take care and God Bless

[RainyKnight]

I think it's just geting started. My aunt and uncle don't like me, and my other aunt is giving me a hard time. Most of the family has pretty much rejected me. Although God is the only one I can trust, what I need God to do is help me find a job so I can get my own place. I need my quiet space. I like being alone and my family doesn't understand. Everyday I wake up and write God a letter, but he hasn't answered. I've cried for help. Lord, I need a job, i need my own apartment and a car. Although all these earthly things are vanity. I want to be in a place where it's just me and God. I don't won't to depend on my family to take care of me anymore. All my life my dad has handicapped me. I want to be free to fly away. Instead, I feel as though I live in the prison that my family has set for me. I hope I don't end up homeless, but that's where I feel I'm heading because I can't trust my family. I am alone.

[mlg]

Rainy...sometimes it may feel as God has not answered you...but God has 3 answers sis...and they are yes, not now, or no...and maybe you don't like the answer he is giving you...and there in may be the problem...you have to trust God has a plan...and you have to ask His guidance...but you also have to be willing to hear his answers...and accept His answers...even though His answers may not be yours.

Praying for you still.

luv ya

[RainyKnight]

I don't think I can love people or forgive my family for all the hurt there putting me through. There always going up against my dreams and I'm fed up. I'm tired of living here with them. Now they say I won't be able to go back home to finish school. I have to sit out a semester and wait for some crazy check that's only 620 dollars from the government. That money won't cover for my tuition and my medical bills, and my medicine. I know God takes the foolish to confound the wise, but in my case God's no where to be found. I pray life doesn't sink any lower because I'm on the edge. I'm angry at God. I'm angry at life. I'm angry at family. I don't trust no one. I don't have any friends. My spirit is broken, it is being ripped the part every day I wake up and breath God's air. I am being labeled by people here something I'm not. I just ask God to give me the keys to my own life and let me free of this prison. I wish he would let me go with my mom and brother. This life is prison. This life is ugly and I don't like it. I think I'm losing hope in God. I think I'm losing faith, and I think I'm beginning to get that I don't care adittude towards everything. I mean why should I work towards a dream that is God's anyway. If he want it to happen he will let it happen. At this point I think I don't care about the dream. Since everybody wants to attack me going to school. I'm done with God's dream. I hope he gives it to somebody elses cause having his dreams give you LONGSUFFERING. I'm talking suffering right out the mother's womb. What I need is a ticket out of here. Maybe a new life with no parents, nobody but a apartment, car and a job. I want to be alone, but I am in prison. I am a prisoner in this life. I wish God would let me free so I can breath. The only thing left to do is nothing. I've prayed my last prayer, I've cried my last cry. If God doesn't move it doesn't matter I don't care. It's his crazy dream he gave me when I was 15, and I don't won't it. I don't won't anything that has to do with this life. Nothing, but a way to heaven.

[Dora]

Wow those are some pretty hard words you speak towards God.

Let's see what He says about you.

He calls you His child. "But to all who have received him--those who believe in his name--he has given the right to become God's children" (John 1:12)

He calls you His friend. "I no longer call you slaves, because the slave does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because I have revealed to you everything I heard from my Father." (John 15:15)

But you have to choose to accept this.

Does God owe you anything? Do we deserve His attention and His blessings?

Praying for you.

[mlg]

Rainy...know what I see sis? I see someone who is pushing all their anger towards God...about the things in their life they don't like...but instead you've completely missed that God is not the one against you...the enemy of our soul...Satan is the one who is against you. God wants good things for you rainy...but He can't work in your life if you don't allow Him to be first in your life...you refuse to accept God and what He has done for you...and choose to push Him away...and as long as you do this...God can do nothing for you. It's your choice to make...but God loves you dearly...and He has a great plan for you...but you have to accept His plan first...and that means making God number 1 in your life...and that may include enduring some trials and tribulations at the hand of Satan...but with God you will get through those trials.

Praying for you.

God's will be done.

luv ya

[RainyKnight]

I may not have the right to be angry at God, but he took my mother and my brother to heaven and left me here in prison. God knows that I hate my father since I was little. I am having to be surrounded by doctors who I think don't have more since then I do. If doctors were so smart my mom would have been cured of breast cancer, so my dad must understand why I don't trust them with my diabetes and I rather not take the medicines they perscribe because God is a healer. Plus, to top it off I was doing fine till they diagnose me with schizophrenia and depression. Of course, I know I'm depress who wouldn't be. The fact that I have to take the medicine makes me even more miserable. I told God I'm miserable but I don't think he care. I don't think I will be happy till I turn 30. When does God ever answer our prayers? I am really miserable and starting to feel very lonely and sad. I wanted to fill the void by helping women with breast cancer, but right now I'm stuck here. Not working, not being able to go to school. Waiting on SSI. God I am miserable. I hope he knows it.

[mlg]

Rainy...first God has a plan for everyone's life...and it is up to Him when a person lives and when they go home...keeping your mother and brother here was not God's will and you have to find peace in your heart to accept His will...He won't force you to accept Him...and as long as you keep pushing God away He can't hear you...as you have put a wall between you and God...and God can't come near anger for Him...He can only come near when you love Him and ask Him to.

Now Rainy...God can work through doctors and He does...but doctors can only do what God allows them to do...and therefore doctors are often limited in what they can do for people...but God does use them...and I really encourage you to continue listening to your doctors and following their orders.

You mentioned you want to help breast cancer patience...how about seeing if you can find a support group online where you can offer encouragement to those who are going through this. It might help you with your own healing.

Prayers continue for you.

luv ya

[arken1]

I'm tired so this may not be very in depth, but I just wanted to say that God tests us with very little, and in very stressful situations before he lets us graduate to the next level. Can you survive under hard conditions? Will you obey God in the HARD TIMES not just the EASY TIMES? If you do, God will bless you beyond your dreams. If not, God waits until you're ready.

Secondly, you have to remember that you are breathing God's air because he wants you to. He only keeps you here because you have a reason to be. If you focus on losing your loved ones, not being in your own apartment, etc., then you're wasting the life God has given YOU. Do you think your mother and brother are in Heaven saying "I hope she's depressed that we're gone." NO WAY! They want to see you living the life God has planned. Be patient, be still with the Lord. Don't just ask God over and over for something. God says, be still and listen to Him.

To elaborate on what others have said about Doctors and health problems such as cancer: I think of cancer and serious health problems as a reminder that LIFE ON EARTH IS BRIEF! God isn't going to leave you here for very long. 100 years is NOTHING compared to eternity. He wants you to focus on Him so he can speak to you and move forward with His plan.

[sweetlittleangel]

amen arken..well said and thank you.

hello rainy.

when i read thru ur post..some of it sounds like what i ve experienced recently. i too felt like i wanted to be separate from my family..where i can be alone and not be a burden for them. it was not easy when everyone pushing u around to the thing u know u dun want to be at.., i know. i wud like u to know u are not alone feeling like that.

may u know God knows it too. and i pray that u know and aware that He is there with u..holding u..

sometimes we go thru some experiences..so that we understand how others who are going thru the same thing...and i really understand what ve u shared here. once u overcome this..it is to equipped u to be better servant of God. keep focusing on the one that has conquered the world..Jesus.

He knows the best way to expose our helplessness is to keep hidden the visible and tangible answers. Life can be overwhelming at times, especially when you see no way out. But God's specialty is rescue missions. And He passionately wants us to come to Him first. He is the answer.. and we will find incredible peace..when we allow His timing and His wisdom to work through our problems.

hang in there my friend. we are family here in this site.

we love u and care for u.

love u much,

sis sla.