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Day 4-Forgiving Myself

Postby Krystal » Sun Apr 11, 2010 10:24 pm

My first thought was...
OH How convenient!
I have been asking how I am supposed to forgive myself all day.
We talked about it at church, we talked about it in our bible study tonight.
Then I get on here and go to Step 4-Forgiving yourself

I'm not sure what I am holding against myself
and I definetely do not know why.
Whatever it is it has been holding be back from being the person God wants me to be.
So with that...instead of holding onto that nonexistent "thing" I can't seem to forgive myself for....I'm letting it go
I want to feel joy and peace!

Today started out TERRIBLE...I woke up feeling miserable and all I wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep...
I went to church and almost walked out a couple times....I don't know why but i just felt this deep fear and anxiety through the whole service.
Alot of what they talked about seem like it was purposely directed at me.
Maybe it was.
I was in tears the whole time and I just wanted to get on my knees and cry...and cry some more.

I can feel the war going on around me.
One minute I can feel a small bit of hope...and then its like something rips in out of my hands and all i can feel is deep dread and fear...of something i don't even know is there.

I want to be free.
I'v taken 4 steps to becoming just that.
No, forgiving myself is not an instantaneous thing...I need to remind myself and work on it, and pray about it.
I need all the prayer I can get. I have never been able to forgive myself.
I hope I can now.
I believe I can now.
God I ask for all the strength in the world, and for your protection against myself and my fears.
Help me to forgive and forget truly.
Lord, give me a clean slate, once again.
Amen.
thank you everyone for your support and your prayers.
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Postby Dora » Sun Apr 11, 2010 10:58 pm

:) Hello Krystal

That's the way the enemy works. As soon as you find truth he rips it out of your hand. You can stop this. By knowing his plan and standing on guard for it. When you grab a hold of the truth such as you did with forgiving. Be aware it makes the enemy mad, so he'll come along and try to steal it. Maybe through reminding you of what you have done in the past. Gods got that covered, forgiven. Speak it and remind yourself you are forgiven. Tell Satan to take a hike cause Gods blood is rich enough to wash away any sin you have or will commit.

I love the way God spoke to you in church and now through the study. He is awesome. :)

I've learned when I least want to go, it's the enemy trying to keep me from a blessing.

Praying for you sweet sister. Keep on moving forward. What wonderful progress you made today.

God loves ya and so do I!
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Postby mlg » Mon Apr 12, 2010 7:32 am

Hey Krystal *hug*

God hears your prayers and He is a forgiving and loving God and has done just so for you. Sis...forgiving yourself is important...no it's not easy...in fact it can be difficult...especially if you carry a lot of blame and guilt...but it is possible as all things are possible with God. Work on forgiving yourself...one small step at a time...but you really need to do so...in order to be able to gain the healing that you truly deserve.

Keep pushing through sis...Jesus really finds you to be special.

luv ya
Do you know my Jesus? Do you know my friend? Have you heard He loves you? If not, I'd like to introduce you.
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Postby Mackenaw » Mon Apr 12, 2010 8:36 am

Hello Krystal :)

God bless you this day.

You said:
I can feel the war going on around me.
One minute I can feel a small bit of hope...and then its like something rips in out of my hands and all i can feel is deep dread and fear...of something i don't even know is there.


I want to examine what you said here, because it has deeper meaning than many of us give it -- and yes, it does happen to all of us.

The enemy of our souls would enjoy nothing more than to have us twisted in a knot all the time -- bound by worry of things and the what ifs. We in turn, may attach that anxiety to a certain or specific topic; however, when we realize that we can experience that "feeling" even without naming a concern or particular topic, we can see how warped it is. No, we are not warped, but what we have been taught by the world and by the enemy of souls ... is to worry about everything and to dread life -- that is warped and it is bondage.

Jesus tells us not to worry, but in all things come to Him. He is our Provider and He loves us.

Looking forward to reading what awesome things The Lord places in your heart throughout this journey.

God bless and keep you, Krystal.
Love,
Sister Mack
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Re: Day 4-Forgiving Myself

Postby deetu » Mon Apr 12, 2010 9:47 am

Isn't God's timing amazing?
Krystal wrote:I'm not sure what I am holding against myself
and I definetely do not know why.

Sometimes you need to ask the Holy Spirit to bring the root problem to your mind so that you can address it. Once you find it, it is usually easier to let it go. The enemy likes to keep it against you, making you think that is not the problem. You will know...
*hug5*
It is better to light a candle then curse the darkness *lost*
No fear... just freedom *knight*
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Postby momof3 » Mon Apr 12, 2010 2:09 pm

Hi Krystal..God bless you, sis

Just wanted to add something to whats already been said here...

God said...My Grace is sufficient for you.
God said...Ask for forgiveness, and it's gone...from the east to the west..buried in the depths of the sea

God said...I send My Son to die so that you might live..and live abundantly....

the enemy accuses us continuously...he lies to keep us in bondage and cause us to doubt what God said...and doubt the power of the blood of Christ being enough to cover our sins.

Sis, Who are you gonna believe? Was His sacrifice enough? We cant work for it..we dont deserve it..but it is given freely...out of His love for us. Keep these thoughts in your mind when the enemy whispers his poison to you. and if you fail and fall again..which you will, cuz we all do, repent, get back up, dust off and move forward. Its all about what He has done for us. He gets all the glory. Its all about HIM and His unconditional love for us.

praying for you sis. His perfect will be done in your life.

in Jesus,
love momo *Halo*
James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up.
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