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Step 3

Postby MsQ » Thu Apr 08, 2010 11:12 am

God's Grace.

Well, I am having a hard time grasping this whole concept. I do know he forgives me. So, how is it that I keep holding on to the guilt and shame? I know holding on does not glorify God.

I have been having a huge battle going on in my head. I literally wake up with head aches and have been suffering with Migraines. The drive to drink has been stronger than ever. The drive to distract myself in sinful ways has been just has strong. The nights I give in to drinking I give into the other temptations. But, it has been half as much as I normally do. I finally made a connection this week. When I drink I give in to the other things. The nights I don't drink I am not even tempted. Seems the more I turn to scripture, singing worship songs, and talking to God. The harder Satan tries to hold on to me.

I am not sure if this is wrong of me to do. But, I actually talked to Satan this morning and told him. He is not going to win me. He will not win this War. He may win a few battles but this War will be won by God.

I see the changes going on in my life and my families life. The biggest change I have seen is in my relationship with my husband. He and I actually wake up in the morning and talk about God over coffee. We took our family to church on Sunday. He said he see,s a change in me. He see's me trying. So, now he's trying.

I am constantly working on the three steps. I realize I am taking longer than most on these steps. (always been a slow learner) lol But, I am turning to prayer and reading scriptures. Surrounding myself with as many reminders. Giving myself things to turn to. I feel like a toddler constantly falling. But, picking myself up asking him to forgive me and trying harder.

I am just SOOOO thankful for God's Grace !
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Postby mlg » Thu Apr 08, 2010 11:42 am

Mrs. Q, I must say...though the fight is difficult there are great rewards awaiting..God notices that you are trying to do the right things...He knows you are reaching into the Word...and things that glorify Him...He also knows that the enemy is there trying to tempt you. Each time you feel the enemy come knocking on your door...send Jesus to answer for you. That way...you've already taken the first step to win the battle the enemy is picking with you.

My prayers continue for you sis...but I am seeing progress already in your shared words...you should be proud...cuz I know your Father is.

luv ya
Do you know my Jesus? Do you know my friend? Have you heard He loves you? If not, I'd like to introduce you.
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Postby Mackenaw » Thu Apr 08, 2010 12:03 pm

Hello MsQ :)

God bless you this day.

You said:
I finally made a connection this week. When I drink I give in to the other things. The nights I don't drink I am not even tempted. Seems the more I turn to scripture, singing worship songs, and talking to God. The harder Satan tries to hold on to me.


Ephesians 5:18-19
(18) And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
(19) Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.

MsQ, it is so awesome that The Holy Spirit gave you that revelation, and that you received it. He knows the struggles you are going through, and He is making a way for you. He is right there with you.

Woooooohooooooo! on your hubby and your seeking God together. God is so very Good.

God bless and keep you.
In His love,
Sister Mack
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Postby xxJILLxx » Fri Apr 09, 2010 9:03 am

Good morning MsQ,

You are making such tremedous progress already!

Oh Yes satan tries his hardest to get us back, as far as talking to Satan...

Well let me just say there was one day when i sat across the table from my daughter while she was in a teen psychiatric hospital while under suicide watch, and u better believe i spoke to him...

I told that scum of this earth, I will get my daughter back!!! With determination in my voice that i like to think shook the foundations of hell!

Guess what MsQ

Not only did i get my daughter back, but God gained a precious daughter!
Oh u better believe it didnt come easily, there were many a battles most of my friends here can attest to that.. for there are many here that helped me through all of this, prayed with me, cried with me, walked with me, encouraged me...I am forever grateful to God. As i know you will be as well.

What does all of this have to do with drinking? Not much, but it has to do with life here and catching a glimpse of HOPE and getting the encouragement from your brothers and sisters and knowing that these battles are meant to be won!

So please take this encouragement and place it in your pocket and whenever you need it remember a girl named Mariah and the mother who wouldnt give up on her child AND WON!! To GOd be the glory honor and praise! And God will not give up on you either, how much more of a better parent is He than us? He loves you dearly!

God bless you sister

with much love and prayers,
♥Jill
♥♥I strive to love others as Christ loves me... Ephesians 5:1 Be imitators of God therefore as dearly loved children and live a life of love...♥♥
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Postby deetu » Fri Apr 09, 2010 9:37 am

*ohyeah* You go girl!!!

And there is nothing wrong with reminding the enemy that he is not going to win. Just as long as you don't taunt him but declaring freedom... YES!!
It is better to light a candle then curse the darkness *lost*
No fear... just freedom *knight*
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Postby jamisfaithnjoy » Sat Apr 10, 2010 7:37 pm

Hi.My name is Jami and I'm pretty new to this site.nice to unofficially meet you hun.I just wanted to comment about the drinking issue you spoke about here and how it drove you to do somethingelse.You didnt state what the somethingelse was but I just wanted to say I can relate.It's in my family's history with alcoholism.I've lost a few siblings and my dad in 2005 due to it,alcohol and drugs.I,myself,have also battled the drinking issue most of my life up until Jan.2007 when finally after joining A.A. and alot of prayer,and going to church when I could combined with reading the Bible and positive books and self help,I was able to quit for almost 3 years.Since 2007,I have had a drink here and there but for the most part it's pretty non-existent.For myself also back then,there was something about my drinking that gave me an urge to take pills as well.Something just went off in my mind to do it.Now I know it was the devil trying to have me kill myself with that lifestyle and I'm sure that's what's going on with you too.Like eevryone's said,it takes prayer hun.And alot of it.sometimes every few minutes I used to have to because the urges were so strong but the more I prayed and got support from people who believed in God fearlessly(which back then was just this lady I called "grandma") and also had been through what I had and were living a clean and sober life,did I begin to heal.As long as there's evil in the world,were going to be tempted by our desires and dont feel alone.Not everyone drinks or does drugs but I believe people,as humans,fight their own vices.Some die from eventual complications from being overweight from knowingly eating the wrong things continually.The buffets I used to live at when my family wanted me to go?Those sure werent healthy and if the body is the temple of God as Ive heard,learned and read,then that too was a sin.I did the 4th step today and I think it's at the point we can forgive ourselves ,only then,can we totally be able to let go of self destructive ways.I wish you the best in all that you do and are as God's child.God Bless you hun.
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