Christianity Oasis Forum

[harmonizer]

I don't know how this is going, but I'm trying to keep going till the end.

Well, I had two bad days. I'm trting to identify "the problem", but I think there are "problems'. Yes, more than one.

Here are my problems: My wife stopped working about three years ago and Ive been supporting us (wife and son) for the time. Since that time, dept has been rising far beyond our control. Morgage is behind, credit card dept is high, taxes are due, and the you can olny imagin other things...

2. I am a teacher (Music) and I've been furtated with my "job" because I don't feel that I am being fulfilled by helping students to become better musicians. My problem with this is that I really felt that God was calling me to another level in my career. I tried in faith to take this step, but I didn't pass my diagnostic exams for my Phd. Now I lack a vision and directions on what God wants me to do...There are too many....

Finacially in a mess, living with parents (wife my wife and son), me and my wife aren't working, hurt by God saying no to a career move, not on one accord with my wife, marital issues, don't understand what God is doing, need to learn to trust God in my wife and listen to what she's saying (logic gets in the way very badly) have to depend on father for money, don't feel like I'm being a good husban and father, seeking God but can't find him, feel like I'm losing myself, reaching out and searching for answers and direction,.... am I selfish as step 5 suggest? My wife says I am (self centered)....I just want to be able to provide for my family and do what God wants me to do in life...I'm tired of just working for a pay check.....but I was denied and can't study to achieve my degree...Lord help...

[vahn]

Harmonizer

This may sound a bit harsh , and I know I myself would not want to hear it if one was to say this to me , but , the truth is the truth , and no one told me truth is always sweet .
But instead , I would like you to really pay attention to what you yourself wrote , and I hope you will see why your wife thinks of self-centeredness ok ?

you wrote

I just want to be able to provide for my family and do what God wants me to do in life...

and right after that you write

I'm tired of just working for a pay check.....

and here , I think where the "problem" lies

but I was denied and can't study to achieve my degree...

Sorry to say , but it sounds like you're more concerned about your degree and career rather than to provide .

Have you tried flipping burgers for an additional income ? They pay money for doing so you know .

[Mackenaw]

Hello Harmonizer,

I know it can feel overwhelming when the path (the plans and corresponding decisions) we've made -- believing they were in God's will -- seem to have led us to a brick wall. I often think of Abraham when he was leading the people to The Red Sea. What must he have been thinking? God, did I hear you right? Now what?

Sometimes we hear and we follow, but then we assume that the reason He led us to do "point A" must mean we're gonna end up at "point B", but we didn't consider that fork in the road. Then we think, did I veer to the right when I should have veered to the left? As you eluded to -- where's the logic?

I Corinthians 2:10-16
10but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. 14The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. 15The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment:
16"For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct him?" But we have the mind of Christ.

You mentioned in an earlier post that your wife has "crazy" faith. I loved that statement. Could be that The Lord is doing an awesome work in you that most would call "crazy" faith, too.

Harmonizer, you have been given an incredible opportunity. Not a lot of people are in the position of taking a "leave of absence" from their job, with the promise that the job will still be there the next year. Nor do most people have others that are willing to take them in and give them shelter, food and money for essentials.

We can read many stories within the Bible where the pooling of resources within a family, where several generations are represented was the case. I wonder what happened to this concept. It seems the more space a person is given, the more they want -- leaving behind others to fend for themselves.

Take this time to get to know The Lord intimately. Once you do, you will see that job that is awaiting you, and everything else in your life, in an entirely different light -- His Light. It would also seem you could be doing much for your parents and wife and child right now -- tending to household maintenance, chores and such while your dad is working.

Harmonizer, The Lord has not forgotten you. He is right there with you, opening doors that you haven't even noticed yet.

Do not lose heart. Jesus loves you.

You and your family are in my prayers. God's will be done.

God bless and keep you.
In His love,
Sister Mack

[harmonizer]

Thank you guys for talking with me.

[breakingfree]

i can't imagine the stress you are going through. you probably feel like God has abandoned you and left you to figure out this on your own. but please please don't believe that lie. If you are God's child, He promised that He will always be there. sometimes He seems vacant because He using this time to shape you into what He wants. He never promised life would be easy. know that He hurts when you hurts. i just encourage you not to lose hope and to have faith. God WILL provide. Just believe.

[momof3]

hey harmonizer..i just wanted to add that ive been in similar situations.....believing God had led me down a certain road only to find that the seemed to end..with an ok, Lord..did I hear you right? Take heart, my brother. Sometimes He will bring us to a place to be still in to draw us closer to Him while we wait for Him to move. He is faithful to finish what He has begun in us, but its not in our timing. take this time to get closer to Him, learning to trust Him, even more with everything in your life.

im praying for you and your family. God bless you, bro.

in Jesus,
momo

[Dora]

Hey ya harmonizer I keep hear you say your wife quit work. I feel you two didn't agree on this decision and it may be causing some strife between the two of you.

If so try to understand that a woman can have a strong desire placed in her from the Lord to be the one who nurtures her child 24/7. This to is what a child needs. So many children are placed in daycare. I personally see the effects this has on them. No matter how hard a daycare tries, they can not give to any child what their mother gives to them. Though you may be suffering because of this choice your child will not suffer because of this choice. You may have to loose things financially but in the end what really matters is not the house, not the car, not even the clothing or quality of food, it is that child and your spouse and the relationships with the Lord between each of you.


I don't know if you celebrate Christmas but if you do this season may add even more stress because of the financial bind. You may worry that you don't have enough to give. I want to share with you that I don't remember one gift I have ever gotten for Christmas as a child. Except one. My sister spent .25 cents on a pack of Trident. It meant the world to me. She didn't have a job. She was only 15. I cried. My parents chewed her out for not spending more on a gift. But to me she could not have given me anything better.

Make Christmas about the gift of love. Because the material things will fade from memory quickly.

God loves you Harmonizer and so do I.
May you feel his presence this Christmas season in abundance.
May your heart be full of joy and love as you and your family celebrate this very special season.