Christianity Oasis Forum

[xxJILLxx]

oh looky there, satan trying to steal my joy

had a wonderful weekend no doubt and as soon as i get to work BAM!

well they cut back my hours from 40 to 32. Im tired of fighting with these people, so be it.. God will provide. I didnt like working the double anyways, to draining on me and i ddint like leaving my kids home for 16 hrs by themsleves without supervision, so if it be God's will, it will be.

I Know God will take of us, he has been, so i trust Him. And now i can see why God planned for my heat bill to paid off all winter, Hes always got a plan.

i went to bible study last nite at church and i gave my testimony, i am soaking it all up and want more of Him. I am so hungry for Him.

sos went realy well yesterday



the kids are doing realy well, when i tell my daughter i love her she says it back now instead of saying uh huh. So its little blessings like this that keep me going and thanking and praising the Father for each and every one of them!

gbu

♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

ok well the sos forum is alot harder on me than i had anticipated. Emotionally its draining. How do you cut off the emotion?

How do you look at it as helping someone and not taking it all back in?

How do you not react personally and reflect on my past abuse?

As much as i want to run and hide and not post so i dont have to think on these things i still have the desire to reach them, nurture them, and let them know they are not alone.

Im still overcoming my past abuse. idk sometimes i think maybe this is too much for me. Rehashing all of these emotions.

I can tell you that im learning though, as i reach them i am healing myself as well i think. The words i write to them are also for me. But when do you say enough i want to just move on and forget...

I guess when my heart runs cold... and i cant let that happen. I dont want to stop caring, i can relate to them.

Hes making me stronger through this, Im facing things i would not want to face unless i was doing this program. I think if i wasnt doing this program i would keep it all stuffed down and that isnt healthy as well.

Learning to just listen to H S and then let go and let God, do what i can to advise them and nurture them and trust that God is going to do the work that needs to be done through the words He gives me.

I wanted to run and hide and quit sos, im going to be honest and when a certain member posted that triggered me i was going to quit. But i knew if i didnt post, if i didnt care it would ultimately stunt my healing. So im pressing on and trusting that the Lord will show me how to not take all this in and still care but not to let it effect me emotionally.

Im always complaining that i am not strong enough, im very emotional and im trying not be im trying to be stronger in Him. And face these things with Him by my side and in the same token reaching.

Frustrating at times

Gbu
♥Jill

[Dora]

Jill my sweet sister

I do know the feeling.

You will be rewarded for suffering for the Lord.

As you heal the triggers will be lessened.

I miss you. Praying for you.

[xxJILLxx]

i believe they will pine, i have to believe in that and keep my hope in the one above

amen, thank u my sister

i miss you too!

saturday was the big thanksgiving food giveaway at church over 615 families were served breakfast and given food with an average of 4 per family thats 2,460 individuals that we got to serve. The youth did their human video as well (my daughter and son were both in it) after the human video we had 63 people come up to the alter for committtments to Christ! 63 peeps yall!!! It was awesome! The peeps were coming up to the kids asking them to pray for them! My daughter , Mariah was one of them who was praying for them and ministering to them! Can u believe it?

Nothing is impossible with God, nothing! She has life within her now, shes not depressed, she has good christian friends....God never ceases to amaze me! I fought so long and hard and this has been such a battle, but look at the results! That encouarges me even more to focus on my x husband (Mike)and reach to him in love and not push him away like the religious leaders tried to push others away. Jesus reached to the sinners and took them under their wing.

Not only that i got to minister to a lady who has a duaghter who is going through similar circumstances with her daughter that i had and i got to tell her what God has done for my family, she seemed so hopeless as i was with my daughter i can see me in her, the pain, the heartache, the loss of control, the confusion, the anger... This woman has been on the news because her daughter went missing for 3 days ( they ended up finding her and is now in a half way house) But she left the church with food and with HOPE! Hope that GOd can change what we think is impossible. We exchanged phone numbers and i plan on calling her for lunch one day and hopefully minister to her and her family more.

All i can say is God is a wonderful and gracious God and i adore Him!
Thank You Father for all you have done and you are doing and all you are going to do through me.

And the greatest thing is, God dont want nothing in return, just our love and devotion fro Him and HIs cause! Easy price to pay huh? If you love me you will obey my commands... it will come naturally out of our love for Him.

God's been stirring me and my friend up some ideas of starting a half way house with our church. Keeping this in prayer.

so thankful this year as we enter into thanksgiving week!

Gbu

♥Jill

[Mackenaw]

Hello Jilly

God bless you this day.

Jill, ever since I first read your post earlier today, I've been praying for you. God's will be done. The following thoughts keep coming into my mind, and I feel the need to share with you.

As children of God, we know that the Truth will set us free. Amen.

The facts of a matter are not the same as the Truth of a matter. Often people are driven to repeating the facts of a situation over and over again -- erroneously believing that the facts are going to set them free.

Additionally, consolation and correction are not the same. While God often uses consolation and/or correction (or both) in His healing process, they are applied differently by His Truth.

I pray this helps. God's will be done.

Love,
Mack

[xxJILLxx]

yes thank you mack, words of wisdom there...


i will meditate on those words and let Him speak Truth to me, truth of who i am in Christ , Truth of who He is and Truth of what we can do with Him Amen!

love you mack!

Gbu sis ty all for your prayers it is because of God and all of your faithful prayers i am here to write these things.

i love you all very much

Gbu

♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

dissapointed today

I got denied for the college i wanted to attend.

Hey oh well, i was getting excited about this and was hoping to go to school to further my education so i can provide better for my kids. I cant believe they denied me, im like in shock and very confused, if this college wont accept me, what college will?

im just not understanding all of this, why would God not want me to further my education so we can come out of poverty.

i was hoping to tackle this, and at first i was scared to do it but then i gathered the courage to press in and got my hopes up... Why do my hopes keep being crushed?

All my life ive felt i was never good enough, i dont make par, im not smart enough etc etc and wow this is realy taking a big hit on me that a Christian online college wont accept me.

Now what stay at my dead end job and possibly get another job, so my kids can have a descent life?

Ok God i trust you... i dont understand... but im trusting You... Im hurt but im trusting you...i feel like i failed before i even got started ... but im still trusting you.

Wow... this really stinks
But Im trusting you that you have another plan even better than this one. Father i pray that you show me what you would have me to do. Should i apply at another school, for what to get turned down again? Daddy i just dont understand comfort me during this time and help me to understand what you would have me to do.

I love you Lord
amen

♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

ok took a big hit yesterday but i am so learning !

usually this would have brought me down for days.. yesterday after i found out and cried, i dried my eyes accepted that it was God's will and went to church for bible study and came back and did sos.

Usually i would of balled up and stayed in that oh woes me stage, why cant i ever get ahead etc etc... but not yesterday!

So i do beleive that through the denial God is working on me to be stronger.

Hes been letting me know i need to be stronger lately and not such a creampuff, because i am a child of Him and any child of His should be living in Victory, not sorrow.

So i say thank u Father for molding me to be stronger, i can see my growth spurts and ty Holy Spirit for comforting me and showing me that even though a school had denied me, my Father will never deny me as His.

So again thankfulness this thanksgiving for what He is doing in and through my life.

Gbu
♥Jill

[Mackenaw]

Awesome, Jilly !!!

God is so Good.

God bless you, Jilly.
Love and hugs,
Mack

[xxJILLxx]

Had a wonderful Thanksgiving we have so much to be thankful this year!

The kids ar going to be performing their human video this sunday and i got to invite some family members to church, Im excited i got to witness to a few peeps this thanksgiving! Had good encouraging convo today with family and friends.

My son played in a trukey bowl this morning without equipment and got hit hard in the chest poor baby.

Thanksgiving dinner at the church for the youth was awesome they had so much fun dancing and praising God and fellowship.. and the clean up was so worth it!

We are planning to go on a winter retreat with the youth to an indoor waterpark hotel! The kids are getting to be excited and i get the priveledge to chaperone! Wow like thats gonna be hard to do...we are going to have a blast! Im realy starting to like hanging out with the youth and helping out whenever i can. Its got its perks

we were thinking of starting to transport kids in my apartment complex area to our church.. look out cause i will be driving them in church van..Lol will be praying over this and planning on sending our youth out into my neighborhood to recruit newbies to church. Still nothing confirmed yet, just ideas so u dont have to get off the roads yet! j/k

not giving up on the college idea, looking into other online colleges and chcking my options.

Taking some time for reflection from my ex husband, want to make sure that this is God's will not Jill's desire and will. Honestly im not sure if it is His will or not... but i need to search to see if it is or not ... have seen some good fruit from him but also some not so good fruit as well so idk.. just gonna trust God in this and take a few steps back to evaluate the situation to make sure this isnt a trap from the enemy. Was caught up for a minute there, but through prayer i realised a few areas that i need to give over to the Lord about this whole situation...

anyway had a wonderful blessed time today!
Gbu
♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

kids performing went realy well today!

I am so proud of them, i just know our Father is soooo much more prouder than I am!

He did it! He did it!
Hes continuing to do it!
Hes transforming my family right before my very eyes, It is so amazing to watch God unfold His love on us all!

I have so much thankfulness within, i cant hardly stand it I HAVE GOT TO PRAISE HIM! It just flows out!

THANK U JESSUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wowzas!

I love HIm so much!


But anyways was a very good day.

Continuing to trust God in this and search Him out in all things.. ah my sweet Jesus! His aroma, His essense, His being, His joy, His healing, His perfect love. Wow words could never begin to explain Him in fullness.

Love u guys so much!

Gbu
♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

jilly is sick

sore throat

Went into my daughters room to pickup a lil bit and seen a list of peeps that she was going to reach out to. What a blessing! God is so good to us!

I praise u Lord! You are good!

Gbu all

♥Jill