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Step 3

Postby rockyrun34 » Wed Sep 30, 2009 9:18 am

I just finished step three! I have been having a hard time with something. Even though I have repented, I continue to punish myself, but am not sure why. Sometimes I feel as if I am not suppose to experience blessings or Grace because of how I acted out of God's will (the last few years). I was such a bad example to my non-Christian friends, and those who were confused too. Today, the story of David was all too familiar (besides taking the wife part. ;) . It made me realize that if I repent, His Grace is there and He can bless me after falling out of his will.

Yesterday I was completely paralyzed in fear. I did not leave the apartment. I am unemployed, in debt, alone and just do not know how to proceed. Maybe this is where God wants me, to prepare me for the next step. I am gong to start thanking God for my unemployment and that he lead me to the right job situation. I want to share and use the gifts that God has given me for his glory, no matter what job situation. I truly want to serve Him.

Thank you for your prayers. ;)
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Postby mlg » Wed Sep 30, 2009 10:00 am

rocky, when we hold on to the guilt even after repenting this is usually because we haven't forgiven ourselves. Forgiving ourselves is often the hardest part, because we think we know better, or we could have made different choices, or we should have done this or that. But in reality, the enemy is the one who led us down the wrong path...so forgiving ourselves is important. God knows this and has already forgiven.

As for the fear and the job sis, I am so excited to hear you are praising God now for the situation you are in. He will bless you for this.

Have a delightful day sis.

luv ya
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Postby Dora » Wed Sep 30, 2009 10:22 am

Hello again RockyRun *Wave*

I to know how difficult it is to forgive yourself. I could write a book on it. rofl

But instead would rather show you that there indeed is a savior who forgives us completely so we can walk in righteousness. The blood was shed for even these sins. You don't have to hold on to them, you don't have to be punished. Rest in his grace. God forgives us when we don't deserve it. He doesn't wait till we do deserve it. That's what makes him so good. :)

God loves ya sis and so do I! *hug*

Glad to see your progress. You are doing great!! *ohyeah*
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Postby momof3 » Wed Sep 30, 2009 12:12 pm

aww, wow...sis...this is awesome! Letting go and letting God is so awesome to watch. In letting go, you are letting Him work things out for you so that you can see His plan for your life. Trusting that He will open the doors is what He wants you to do! that is so awesome to see!!!!

I love His grace and mercy. So often, its good for others...He forgives everyone else for everything...but we dont feel it ourselves. Its amazing when He shows us that His blood was enough. His sacrifice was enough. It covers all! There is no more need for punishment or judgment....cuz the price He paid was total and complete. It was enough. Sis, His mercies are new every day. Know in your soul, wake up every morning, knowing He loves you that much...He never wanted to be separated from you. He thought of YOU as He hung on that cross and took our places. It was enough.

Im loving every minute of what He is showing you in these steps. Keep going! He has so much to show you!

love ya, girl,
in Jesus,
momo *angelbounce*
James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up.
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Postby comfy » Wed Sep 30, 2009 4:43 pm

Good to see you, Rocky . . . with love for you and peace, sending it in prayer . . . hope you get it ;)
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Postby rockyrun34 » Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:39 am

Step #4 -

This was an interesting one, in that this step talked about the different levels of forgiveness and that, God will grant you the level of forgiveness you have towards others. Argh. Lately, I have had three friends from my past come to me asking for forgiveness. I did not even remember the things that they were asking forgiveness for. lol. And I told them that, and said it was in the past, and I do forgive.

But this is the first time that I have actually started forgiving those that have not asked for it. I think there is one verse that sticks in my head that is helping me with this, because it is one I have experienced (not sure where it is from, but I believe it was when Jesus was on the cross). He said, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do". This applies to everyone and me.

God gave me this verse in my prayer and thoughts this morning, and it is the only way I can understand the idea of forgiveness. Cause let's face it - The times I have fallen away from the Lord - I really did not realize at the time, that I was doing certain things, until after the fact. And God has forgiven me. But, lately I think it does not matter that the person who offends knows what they are doing, so that makes it even easier to understand or forgive.

Also, I think forgiveness can be given as an order from other Christians, but it is in quiet prayer and with the Lord, that one can really understand how this concept relates to them.


Still praying for open doors, or maybe even a window, or a peephole. lol
*Pray*
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Postby mlg » Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:52 am

I needed to hear your shared thoughts on forgiveness today sis. Sometimes when someone hurts us we just don't want to forgive, which drags us into sin as well. So we MUST find a way to let it go, one way or another, as to be able to be redeemed not only from the hurt but also when we fall short in God's eyes as well.

A peephole huh? Just curious, do you mind sharing what kind of work you do? If you want you can private message it to me.

luv ya tons sis
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Postby Dora » Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:55 am

Amen RockyRun. In complete agreement with what you said.

God bless you and keep you.
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Up and Down

Postby rockyrun34 » Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:59 pm

I am trying so hard to think positively. All I can do is pray. I don't even know where to go anymore about this job situation. I 've taken all the advice possible, applied everywhere, opened up options. I am trying to wait on the Lord and am trying to thank God for my unemployment, but then I just get discouraged. If I were to get evicted than I would have to go to a shelter. I feel like I am being punished. All I want to do is serve Him.
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Postby mlg » Thu Oct 01, 2009 4:23 pm

Sis I too have lost everything and been without a place to live. But...God provided. Another story I will share with you, if you would like in private messaging. Let me know.

luv ya
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Step 5

Postby rockyrun34 » Fri Oct 02, 2009 8:12 am

Step 5 -

Thank you for your words, publicly and privately. This process is going to take time. I am realizing what "Salt" is and how my life had lost its "saltiness". God wants me back with Him. Reflecting back, I see that the two times I travelled down the wrong path, taken the driver seat, my world was completely shaken up and the Lord got me back, in astonishing ways.

Maybe it is because I can be so stubborn when I am in the world.

When I am anxious, it is not necessarily because of the fear of things going wrong (well maybe ;) ), but because I am contemplating things I have to do because of the past. This is a wall, or a road block created by my tendency to "should" and listen to the rationalizing that the world encourages us to do. "I should do this job, I should keep looking in the field, I should comply". When I think differently, and expand beyond the 'should', my anxiety is eased.

Relearning and Praying

Thank You!!
*Pray*
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Postby Dora » Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:03 am

Amen RockyRun

He wants you back. He's keeps calling you back. That's the sign of a loving Father. :)
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