Christianity Oasis Forum

[hburns088]

I have been battling with losing what I thought were close friends. I have been friends with this certain person for years, each friendship has its ups and downs. But recently this person has pushed me out of her life and ignored me for weeks, I tried to keep in contact with her, i asked if she was ok what was wrong. She shoved me aside and didn't talk to me. Now she is back and thinks everything is fine and wants to be friends again. This has happened so many times I'm sick of it. I am sick of being the kind of friend that she talks to only when she needs me. Everyone I care about is dropping like flies, I have lost every friend I had in the last two weeks. I don't see why this is happening. I want to be there for people, but i don't want to be used... I know Jesus doesn't put requirements on being there for you and we shouldn't put requirements on friendships, but this is hard. I keep getting hurt, my heart keeps breaking I keep feeling unwanted. What do I do? Do I just keep putting myself in the line of fire?

[mlg]

hburns, you asked do you just keep putting yourself in the line of fire...the answer is if you want friends and friendships...yes....See we are to expect ups and downs in our friendships...we are to also expect that friends will move on, but God will bring new friends to replace the ones that we aren't as close to. My best friend from highschool, I have not talked to in over a year. My best friend from college I talked to at Christmas time. Just because we aren't as close as we were in highschool, or in college, doesn't mean we don't care about one another. We do. It just means that we have grown a bit apart. In the meantime, God has given me new friends...many of them here at the Oasis. I'm glad I didn't stop seeking friendship when my best friend from highschool and college moved away...cuz I've made some great friendships since. Keep seeking friends sis. You deserve them.

luv ya

[Lani]

Hi hb,
First, thanks for reaching out, please know you aren't alone. Perhaps the Lord lead you here to Oasis to give you an opportunity to make new friends.
To answer your question: "What do I do? Do I just keep putting myself in the line of fire?" The answer to that question, simply, is yes. If you wish to make friends and stay connected to others, you will need to continue to put yourself out there. The Bible lists many references on forgiveness, the one that comes to mind currently is...
Matthew 18 21 - 22
Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven Times?" "No, not seven times," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven"



I am sorry your friends have hurt you, but to stop reaching out is like death to your soul. We are, as humans... and spiritual creatures, in need of that connection to our brothers and sisters... Closing yourself off to that will only lead to additional emotional pain. He will bring people into your life who will appreciate you and all you have to offer.. you will need to make the effort and reach out though.

God Bless and Keep you my friend!
Lani

[lizzie]

Forgiveness is a precious thing. It is a healing thing. And it is a mandatory thing for Christians, cuz Jesus requires it of us.

Its always good to look a lil below the surface... What if there was something happening with your friend at the time, where she didnt know how to handle it and instead lashed out at the ones in her life that cared?
What if she has now realized her mistake, and is hoping in her heart that you will forgive her for what she has done?

Its all hypothetical of course, I cannot say for sure what went on there. Perhaps one day you may find out, but whatever it was, whether you find out or not, should not influence your decision to forgive her.

If you hurt a friend, knowing or unknowingly, what would you want them to do?

Do unto others as we would want done unto us. Sister, I know its difficult sometimes, especially when we are hurt and wronged, but our Lord was too, so much worse than we are... and yet He forgave even as He lay dying for something He did not do. Dont give satan an open door.


1 Cor 13: 4 - 8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails

Blessings to u