Christianity Oasis Forum

[sweetlittleangel]

To have suffered much is like knowing many languages. It gives the sufferer access to many more people.

Have u ever been stuck in the airport of a foreign country? And then you were descended upon by 20-taxi drivers? Did you try to haggle with them in your "I-am-a-bilingual-illitrate-helpless tourist'' mode? Factor in the existing language or dialect barrier and you have an exhilarating experience on your hands. Yeah, right.

There's no question. Since the confusion at the Tower of Babel, the different cultures and languages have presented many fascinating challenges.

Sheila, a pleasent women in her twenties, who put another spin to all of this. While still in her teens years, Sheila discovered that she had cancer in her leg. It was quite shock to this vivacious, athletic girl. She, her family and close friend rode the roller coaster of emotions, ranging from hope to despair for couple years.

Finally it became apparent that doctors were going to have amputate just above the knee in order to spare her life. What happend next was an intriguing study in human nature.

Her father, a pastor, got real mad at God. It was no secret. He thought that the whole situation was terribly ''unfair''. Well, some more vocal church members took him to task. ''You of all people'', they said, ''should know better. You should trust God and realize that He has everything under control. Stop being angry and start trusting''.

Sheila, on the other hand seemed to express nothing but curiosity about her situation. Yes, curiosity. Her emotional state of curiosity encompassed several years. Am i going to be able to play field hockey again? If so, how well? How weird is the prostethic device going to look? When I am sitting with my leg crossed and with my fake leg sticking out, are people going to stare at me? will I be able to loss of her leg.

Interestingly enough, some of the same people at church took different tack with her. "Maybe you are in denial Sheila. You need to feel and express your anger openly. C'mon let it out. Don't push down.''

As Sheila related the whole scenario, a deeper understanding about the nature of grief began to emerge: We all grieve, but we grieve in different languages. Just as Sheila and her father grieved in different ways, our grief language will probably be different from the manner in which others grieve. Perhaps this is significant part of the reason why some people make such insensitive, bordering-on-cruel ramarks to those found in the arena of emotional pain.

God made us and He understand our capacity for grief and also our need to express the same. When Moses died at a ripe old age, the people of Israel responded in a very natural way. Deutronomy 34:8 records that the nation wept and mourned over his loss for 30 days.

God didn't say, ''Enough already. Stop grieving. Dont you know that Moses is here in paradise with Me? He is much better off. If you had the big picture, you'd stop your crying.''

Instead, true to His merciful nature, God permitted them to grieve. And then when the grieve work was completed, it was time for them to move on under Joshua's leadership. They were now in position to apprehend, with vibration hope, what had been promised for them in Canaan.

Grief, wether it is big or little, past or present, is sponsored by loss. Thousands of years ago the Iserael nation grieved over the loss of Moses' leadership. Not many years ago Sheila lost a functional limb, while her father's loss was more phsychological with reference to the dreams and aspirations he had for his daughter.

What kind of loss have us encountered? A job? A special friend? A failure? A new boss who is pompous and overbearing? A body part? The freedom of singleness? A shattered dream? Valueable years that have been frittered away?

Next question. What language do we grieve in? Do we behave in manner that we are not proud of? Do we stomp around bulstery, intimidating manner? Do we have a vindicating nature that tends towards bitterness and exacting retribution on anyone who has slighted us? Do we pensively stare at wall or out the window for hours? Do we pour ourselves into some activity? Are we passive os aggresive? Do we ventilate our feelings or do we bottle them up?

Whatever our grief language is, grieve, and grieve boldly. The emotions come in like tidal wave. Anger. Tears. Laughter. Guilt. Grab our surfboard and ride the wave of our grief of language...in the way that we do it. Not the way we have read or we told it should be done.

The character for crisis is made up two words: opportunity and danger. And that's part of what happes when we grieve. It is about looking for opportunity that is present in every crisis.

But there is also danger. Suffering provides and environment whereby individuals may say things. think things, or make choices that go againts their theology. Many are shocked to discover some of evil stuff that gurgles in the cauldron of their hearts. There is the tendency, however, to forget that we serve an unshockable God who is already knows that. Under thin venner of our cultured cannality lies danger. There is a fine line that runs between danger and opportunity. We all have to walk it. It is called the grieving process.

This normal process through which most of us must go as we face up the loses in our lives. Before getting back into the main stream of life, grief-stuck people usually pass through the following stage in their own language:
1. State of shock (temporary anesthesia)
2. Emotion is expressed (grieving openly)
3. Depressed and lonely feelings (God doesn't care)
4. Physical symptoms of distress (psychosomatic problems)
5. Panic
6. Sense of guilty
7. Hostility and resentment (cynical toward God and friends)
8. Unable to re-enter usual activities (cant grieve in presence of others)
9. Gradual hope (darkness begins to break up)
10. Affirm reality (continual growth)

The process of grief is as predictable as the law of gravity. The way each person charts his or her way through the process is not. A giant wave of heartache strikes and then leaves as quickly as it came. Why as why? That's just the way it is. We are not going insane.

Even when surrounded by some dear, well-meaning friends, the grieving process is a very lonely task. We are all in this alone. No one else can weep, get angry, or for that matter, go crazy for us in our stead. We are the one who must resist the icy grip of bitterness, the seductive whisper of suicide, the strangled screams of fear. And we will.

In the midst of suffering, we learn to turn our thoughts to what is clear and certain about God, rather than to what He has chosen to conceal. Sufferings help us realize our radical dependence upon the One who can,but somtimes won't.

This topic is taken from.."God is not fair" book

This afternoon, Holy Spirit reminded me to type this topic and to post it as soon as possible..as He made me realized that certainly, many will need it and will be bless by it.. i was too grieved in my own language..and it forced me to depend on Him alone and to put Him first in everything..Bless all n love all in Christ...sla

[lizzie]

Thank you very much for sharing this my sweetsweet

And for those who are grieving a loss at this moment, i offer you this

Ecc 3:1-8
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Things may change in our lives. It is inevitable. We may lose things that are dear to our hearts. But one thing remains constant, and that is the love of God towards us. Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ Jesus. And someday we will be free from these bodies, we will see our loved ones again, and our Lord will wipe away those tears from our eyes.

God bless you all