Christianity Oasis Forum

[susidivah]

Yay! I'm doing the CCCC with my lil sis Pearly! Honestly I am familiar with the study but have never been all the way through as it applies to me. I'm excited to be able to spend this time with our Father and Pearly to explore change and growth on the Path.

Since I came to the Oasis I've heard a lot about to have faith to become like a child. Also that faith correlates with believing. Like many I have struggled in the past with faith being an unseen, "invisible" thing. However, over the years I've learned that we can see faith in many things and it can be very active in our world with God moving thru His people.

The analogy about the castle and the drawbridge and moat I can relate to totally I can tend to build walls and isolate to protect myself from getting hurt. I am like Rapunzel up in the highest room in the tower much of the time (but my hair isn't that long ) There's so much I could say about this but think I will share more as time goes on.

Thanks for listening Luv you all
Susi

[susidivah]

Hello again

Step 2 introduces me to my garden, which I found out has quite a few weeds! Many more than my mother's beautiful garden These weeds have grown and regrown over the past 30 or so years some having started with bad seeds when I was as young as 8 or 9. Honestly I don't think I knew how to tend to a garden back then. My mind was so influenced by the world and my parents. God was a once a week thing for me.

Funny how we are conditioned to hang onto our problems (weeds). In my profession I do a lot of cognitive restructuring exercises with people which is similar to renewing your mind. Replacing the thoughts with alternatives to lead to different choices and actions thus different outcomes. But I'm not here at the Oasis to spew out my own therapy babble right now

I do find it hard at times to be patient for God's plan for us, don't you all? The learning from trials and tribulations is key I believe. Being grateful for every blessing He has given us I know helps me to have faith and to believe in Him and His grace. Which brings me to Step 3...

God's Grace... cannot fathom the depth of it, and probably never will...

I agree with the responsibility of our actions (free will). Pet peeve of mine is peeps who decide to do whatever they want to indulge in sin with the preconception hey I can repent and it's all good. But God knows our motives and our hearts. Something tells me it doesn't fly with Him!

I've known sheep here at the Oasis to also start seeking God after something bad happens (as opposed to falling away). Awesome opportunity for witnessing and growth.

Finally, getting back up after a fall, repenting, forgiving ourselves and remembering He forgives and forgets... hard thing for me to do sometimes. Honestly I think it's cuz I feel I'm not worthy cuz of what I've done. I won't use the words I think of myself sometimes, but it's a challenge to try to remind myself of the TRUTH and to dispute those thoughts Satan plants.

That's enough for now, thanks for listening Love you all

[lizzie]

Aww susles

Thank you so much for sharing

Yay! ur doin the 14 day program

I will be cheering u and pearlicious on sis!



Luv u and GBU always

[loveiskind]

Hi Susi,
I can relate to the 'hanging on' of problems/weeds. I kept everything bottled up inside of me for so long that I felt helpless, even though I was a Christian. I tried giving everything to God, but would always take it back; I didn't know how to just let go. Then on my 40th birthday, I called a counselor to make my first appointment with her. Between that, and doing the Cool Counseling here, I have finally learned to 'let go and let God'. I feel so much better!

Love ya,
Donna, aka Loveiskind

[susidivah]

Step Four... more about forgiveness. Forgiving myself I find is much harder than forgiving others at times. Yet, as I reflected on my history of forgiving others, its actually more like a passive apathetic "OK I forgive them" then move on with your life. Particularly if I never see the person again (which has happened in a couple of the cases where I really had trouble forgiving the person). I find sometimes deep down I harbor resentment still, which manifests itself in other ways, such as excessive, addictive behaviors.

My garden... I don't like to get dirty my friends. I don't like to be messy. In any area of my life. But now I know I have to get a lil dirt on my hands to get the weeds totally out. I have a lot of lil weeds of guilt and shame all over I wish to start with. That's my goal.

Finally I LOVE the song When God Ran... I cry every time I hear it. And its funny how I'll be delivering a message later tonight with the story of the Prodigal Son in it. Love and forgiveness... synonymous... to forgive myself is to love myself as well as others...

Till next time

[susidivah]

Hello again,

OK, Step 5 is accepting the problem... or problems in my case Meditating on what the core problem is was difficult, for the tendency to shove it all inside and ignore it and become numb certainly is still there. Until I realized that was insulting God (yet again), so it came to mind and heart that the two big problems are SELFISHNESS and FEAR.

I used to trick myself into thinking I wasn't a selfish person. Me? Someone who has devoted the majority of her life in helping others? I thought it was a barter for when I was neck deep in sin: if I led the double life and maintained in my work and in my church it wasn't selfishness. See how twisted the other guy gets us to think and BELIEVE? As for the fear, well... that is just not trusting God. It still creeps up on me now and again, not as much as it used to, but enough to affect my spiritual life...

Soooo that's that... and Step 6... thinking forward and renewing the mind I like to think of it as learning from the past, yet still pulling those weeds to plant new seeds. A lot of meaningful scripture to me in this Step, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, and all of Philippians! It still comes to mind many a time you have to BELIEVE in order to renew your mind.

Hence that Miracle Grow chart... I will make it a goal to start developing that tomorrow. Thinking at first, more, more, more to practice and think about, but its true focusing on God's will and not my own in this world is the way to finally rid of the problems (weeds). Trying to approach it with a servant's attitude... honestly I need prayer with that one I already do quite a bit for my mind, body, and spirit in a day, but not as much as in that chart!

Till next time stay His everyone
Susi

[susidivah]

OK everyone... I'm back...

Lil accountability needed here for this journal... I really think I'm getting this seeding and weeding but the journaling is slacking a lil I feel. I've only done one step a day but to meditate and process, then to write sometimes the words don't always come out In the past this has told me I'm not focusing enough on Him to give me the words... so I'll be in prayer about this for the rest of the study...

My Miracle Grow list is coming along... I find that the Body part is the easiest I think cuz I was already pretty focused on that prior to this study. Again those verses 1st Corinthians 6:19-20... my meditation almost every day!

Psalms 25:5 in Step 8 also hit me today when I was studying. He teaches me by the Truth every day, and He is my true Hope for the future. In turn I am blessed to be able to teach others thru Him the Truth as well.

Patience is something I wax and wane with frequently. I pray to continue to increase my patience with all areas of my life as I do have much with many people. Equating it with virtues thus strength got me to thinking. Have never felt very strong as a person. I think its cuz of my emotional being. Now time to seek improving SPIRITUAL strength

Finally, from Step 8, I agree with the fact that Satan does not let us go even when things are "good" or we are in His presence and seeking Him. Satan wants us close and fights for us... have to watch out for times of weakness. All the more reason to practice renewing your mind every day!

Thanks for listening... be sure to check out Pearly's blog, she's on fire!

[susidivah]

Hello again my friends!

Changing my lifestyle.... something I was working on even prior to coming to the Oasis and starting this study. I do like my handy Bible at work, as well as my Purpose Driven Life Calendar, scripture cards, and Precious Moments cross (cross stitched by my earthly sister) in my office. I have magnets on the fridge, hangings on my walls at home. Things to remind me...

Then why oh why do I have my times where I stumble, fall, and/or walk backwards?

Because all that can be there, but if I don't choose to focus on it and on Him, it means nothing...

I really liked the exercise with the changing the habits in 40 days. I'm definitely going to do that with a couple of long time habits in my life that I'd like to be free from I'm excited about really focusing more on the "good stuff" to fill those holes where the weeds used to be. I know if I leave them empty too long the other guy will come along and dump garbage in them.

Thank you, Lord and my Oasis family (especially my Pearly girl) for listening and supporting me with this journey!

Luv ya,
Susi

[susidivah]

Prayer... something I feel I've come a long way with, yet still have far to go

When I was growing up, prayer was more like a ritual, an obligation to make my parents happy. I rattled at God all my blessings with a pleading request every now and then (usually for something material). For many years when I was away from the church prayer was pretty much non existent. And I know now my best friend was very sad...

God blessed me in 1997 with a wonderful physical church home. It was here I first became involved in small groups, the first one being for 3 years. It was here I really started learning more about prayer. I was sooooo hung up on praying with my small group friends. I thought I'd be "bad" at it. In reading the Truth in regards to prayer as well as starting to see the true relationship with my Father not just at small group time or church time, but ALL the time... the prayers became more dialogue. Also He opened my mind and soul as to how to listen when I pray. Since I've been coming to the Oasis and learning more about the Holy Spirit the listening has had an ever deeper meaning, and helped strengthen the relationship.

Overall, I feel prayer is very important when it comes to tending your garden. And am grateful for His "come as you are" attitude about sincere prayer. I only hope this part of my Path may glorify Him and draw Him closer.

Till next time

[---]

We're almost done Thanks for asking me to do this with you... love you. You're a huge blessing in my life right now.

Pear;

[susidivah]

OK, Pearly has finished (yay!) and I am trying to wrap the study up, but not to forsake the messages and learning from the steps. Been pretty sick physically the past several days so can't focus long periods of time but... He led me to try today (and I needed this)


Surrendering to the Holy Spirit! What an awesome relationship we can have with Him. I have honestly been working on this for many months now as I've read more and more on the Holy Spirit, talked to several here at the Oasis, and even felt His presence here Also the idea that He is REAL... I started understanding that from reading Mr. Oasis's testimony, his book Spirit Within and the Beast Without. It talks a lot a bout how he got to know the Holy Spirit in friendship and love. The Holy Spirit is real, a real feeling entity I do believe now. I think the problem is sometimes because peeps can't physically see the Spirit he is not REAL. Yet He is active and alive in everyone, everything, everywhere!

This Step made me think of the song "Alone" by Barlow Girl. I think I shall put it on my COOL space but the Bridge and the Chorus of the song goes like this:

We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though you're invisible
Trust the unseen

I cried out with no reply and
I can't feel you by my side
But I hold tight to what I know
You're here
And I'm never alone

Now for that little white flag smiley

Luv y'all,
Susi

[---]

Totally awesome song. I have the video on my Coolspace.