Christianity Oasis Forum

[Desperatelyhopeful]

Dear Friends and Saints.

I have not been in many relationships but the two I saw marriage potential in - where there was a proposal and the other, mention that there was an interest in getting married to me, I quickly gave away myself - exposing my nakedness both times. In the first instance it did not lead to marriage. In the second instance it happened again with no guarantee again that I will be married to this person. Is there anyone who has gone through this? Did you and gentle man get married after this exposure? Will this new person want to marry me or will he just leave me like the first time because he sees my lack of godliness strength and haste in doing this for him?

[dema]

Your shame and embarrassment can drive him away. There is more to the relationship than sex. I think people make sex too important - including making it too important in the way that they treat not having it. There is a lot more to love and intimacy than sex.

God forgives. God makes the rules for you. Sabbath was made for man. Sex was made for man. (And woman.)

And also, your boyfriend did it too. You didn't do this alone. I doubt that you seduced him like some character from a soap opera.

Focus on other parts of the relationship - don't let this define you.

That's my big advice - don't let sex define you - whether you did, whether you didn't. You can talk about how you feel about this when it is pertinent. But please, don't let this be all you talk about. Don't let this determine what you say and do all day every day. Move on.

Will he marry you anyway? Most marriages aren't consummated in the wedding bed anymore. I know it is the right way. But it isn't what happens. Is that best? No. But obviously a lot of men do marry the woman that gave in too soon.

So, again, get to know this man. Find out how he feels about God in general, what he likes to eat and do, what his dreams are. Move on.

[Desperatelyhopeful]

Thank you, Dema. Appreciate you taking time to respond to my post. I feel very much encouraged by your response and advice. Thank you. This situation showed me the need to hide myself deeper in God. I am praying and building my relationship with God and I trust God to take care of everything.
DH