Christianity Oasis Forum

[abbrachelle]

ok...all honesty here... I started going out and 'messing around' (doing sexual things but never having sex) with guys when I was 16 ... I was two months away from turning 17 when I lost my virginity... it was the biggest regret of my life because the guy told me he loved me and then left me .... and now any time that I'm upset I go out and have sex... I want to stop without a doubt but I just cant seem to....can someone please help me ???

[Parcy]

its all regrets fault that causing you to seek others out for sex when ur upset now.
God said to cain: if thou doest well will thou not be accepted, but if thou doest NOT well, sin lieth at your the door. And unto you shall be it's desire, but thou shalt rule over it.
your sin is that of murdering the abstinate personage in you, whenever you get upset at things you faulter towards it; by giving rule to the one who is sexually active outside of marriage in a dose beyond normal terms.
You just have to learn to say no to satan, and ok to God, by letting this regretful event of yours pass, and be forgiven of it; I see no charge in it; but personally this is a female occurance that i cant perhaps really understand tho me being a man.
Perhaps u think of virginity as a one time thing, but i see it as an ongoing occerance with terms of forgiveness when faultered therein.
What you should do; as other scriptures perscribe it to; is to kill the guilty ones among you; in which case it is the one who goes out and seeks sex to patch a fallen mistake.
Meditate and Contemplate about this event; like it or not, it is a event of the past;.. your past and is part of your now present and will be future; But.... you have a choice to let it be a blessing or a curse to you, either way you will live on, but one holds the key to spiritual happyness and the other to constand torment and more perhaps regrets

a broken and a contrite heart, the Lord will not forsake.
he is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

find your center again, your purity and chasisty. and Draw near unto God and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. make a choice (even if you faulter here now or then) continue on.
Till you free of this regretful event;... find virtue, and be truthful to yourself for God knoweth all things (and things already)

perhaps forgiving this guy might be part of it, but whatever the path he chose, with or without the nightclub scene; you should submit to him and prayer and supplicate unto him

1st edition, read by the writer

[evangelist1]

ok...all honesty here... I started going out and 'messing around' (doing sexual things but never having sex) with guys when I was 16 ... I was two months away from turning 17 when I lost my virginity... it was the biggest regret of my life because the guy told me he loved me and then left me .... and now any time that I'm upset I go out and have sex... I want to stop without a doubt but I just cant seem to....can someone please help me ???

One thing the devil will use against you is your guiltyness and unholness actions, and satan job is to point you to your sins, but the best way to win over satan is to point satan to your righteousness in Christ, knowing that God is with you even when you do sin time after time, and God will never leave you or forsake you no matter what.
The first thing is to get your mind renenewed in the word of God and remond yourself you are Christ loving daughter, and remind yourself God gave you the fruits of the spirits:Ga:5:22: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Ga:5:23: Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
Ga:5:24: And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
Ga:5:25: If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

also start thinking on these things:Ph'p:4:7: And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Ph'p:4:8: Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Ph'p:4:9: Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
Ph'p:4:10: But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity.
Ph'p:4:11: Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
Ph'p:4:12: I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
Ph'p:4:13: I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

You must know where the mind goes the body will sooner or latter follow so your battle is getting your mind renewed, on the good things of Christ, and who you are in Christ.
Don`t beat yourself up when you fall back into to sexual sins , just never start having the lust desire to willfully down right with all your heart want to continue in that sin!
If you are born again and saved, you will not have the same desire to sin like sinners do because sinner love with all their heart to cheat , run away from a person they said they loved like the guy who used you for his own satifaction, and love of sins and lust.
God knows and you know the most you don`t feel good when you do such things and you are not desiring to commits these sins of sex, you admitted this by crying out for help to stop so this is a great sign of your desire not to sin this way and your body a dnmind might like it but you don`t love it with all your heart like other sinnner does so you are on the right road.
But just because the grace of God is still on you helping you to stop before you get some kind of desease or aids or be misused and abuse , Don`t think you can sin and get away from the principle of what you sow you reap and you can reap depression, a short life, and maybe sooner or latter just give up and renounce Christ because you and satan will be talking through that open door you open up everytime you do your lust sins to hear satan say you are not worthy, and what the heck just give up on God and go all the way and become a lustful person or whoremonger and sign your life over to satan as a child of satan and be against God, that is a contract to hell and death eternal!
So stay on the right side of the wall and keep saying and believing you are the righteousness of God , you are holy, you are justified meaning as if you never sinned, and you are sanctified, before God, but please just because that is how God see you, please don`t use that as a excape goat to freely go out and sin!

Paul warn about this my sister:Ro:6:1: What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?
Ro:6:2: God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?
Ro:6:3: Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?
Ro:6:4: Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
Ro:6:5: For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection:
Ro:6:6: Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.
Ro:6:7: For he that is dead is freed from sin.
Ro:6:8: Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him:
Ro:6:9: Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him.
Ro:6:10: For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God.
Ro:6:11: Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Ro:6:12: Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.
Keep looking that you are dead to sins, like your body is in a grave yard ok?
Can a dead person sin?
You are alive in Christ perfection keep believing that and you will be alright, let it become a reality to you and meditate on those scriptures I gave you for starts please do that!
Every time you sin confess it to a sister in the Lord you can trust and have that older sister pray with you, and confeesion everytime you do fall short of the glory it will close the doors you have open to satan to come in and destroy and condemned. Don`t speak to your pastor unless it is a women about this speakto a women who is mature in the word of God and has a open heart towards you in this issue and be one to guide you through your down falls and buld you up in the grace of God which is the power to over come sins ok?

I know you have already won so now go for the golden crown my sister!

Enjoy your blessings
Shalom!
PS:God is with you even when you sin, so don`t put him to shame He still love you!

[Dlias Felixia]

Abrachelle, i agree with evangelist 1, by repenting sincerely in your heart and confessing the sins to your sister in lord,believe me, the devil will release you as Jesus Christ will wash your sins away and the chains will be broken.

[dema]

Replacing the urge works better than fighting the urge. Sex is more than just a sinful act. The man expects to have to tell you pretty things- to make you feel like a worthy object of his attention. When you feel low, that kind of talk lifts you up.

Sex also requires touch. So if you are feeling isolated, or your skin is just hungry for touch, then sex fills that need in the short run.

And sex is a physical escape and release.

Realize what it is. And where you have needs. And find other ways to meet them. Many churches hug a lot. Or maybe you have young relatives and you can babysit or just visit and romp on the floor and get some physical activity and touch from the young children.

Try to get people and touch into your life. Give others compliments and they will give you more. Fix yourself up. do nice things for others. Make connections.

Knowing what's right and doing it can be worlds apart. It can be a relatively easy thing to do what's right or it can be as difficult as telling yourself it is a sin to ever eat again.

Ask yourself what feels better after your nights of shame. And find other ways to treat that part that feels better.

[dema]

And do pray and ask God for guidance. And know that he always still loves you. God loves you and forgives you. So come back quickly if you slip.