Christianity Oasis Forum

[EllaMay]

Hi this would be my first post in this forum, but I personally thought it was appropriate. If there's a better forum for this type of discussion I would love to hear about it and be steered in the right direction

Me and my boyfriend fell into sexual sin pretty fast into our relationship and my question is twofold. What usually changes in someones heart to make them accept sex even when they know it is wrong and what are the consequences of the sin?

I'm looking for straight forward answers even though I know they often hurt . I know what I have done is sin and I have repented, but I can't understand what led me to this sin and I just want to know what are some consequences of it. I've already felt/feel a ton of them guilt, shame, separation from Jesus, loss of trust, bitterness, separation from family, flash-backs, addiction just to name a few.

Mainly I want to know the root cause and I realize that can be different for everyone.

Any help would be so kindly appreciated. Even if it hurts to hear.
Ella

[dema]

Jesus died for your sins. When you repent and ask for forgiveness, you are forgiven. Your sins are washed away. Satan will try to keep you in guilt and shame, but the guilt and shame from Satan can be worse than the sin itself. Satan jumps on anything we do or imagine we did to try and make it a wall from receiving the grace of God. Jesus died for our sins to remove that wall. That is why he died for us - to remove the wall. When we don't accept his sacrifice, we are separated from God and that is really the worst sin - or at least worse than a sexual sin or any sin that is over.

Sex is a natural urge. Nature and spirit do war with each other. Having desire is a normal part of life. Being ruled by the desire separates us from God. To keep from falling into the sin, you need to make it more difficult to do that. Choose activities wisely. Don't put yourself in situations where it is easy to do.

But if you fail, then ask forgiveness and return to the loving arms of God. Being close to God is the most important thing there is. If we could do everything correctly all the time, we wouldn't need God and we wouldn't need the sacrifice of Christ.

But we do.

[EllaMay]

Dema sis you are such a blessing!

Thank you again for answering my question and thank you for reestablishing some spiritual truths. We all do need the Lord and I am thankful every day for his amazing grace and love for me.

Is it not true though that God will Judge me for what I have done and that I still have many consequences to face as a result of this decision? Especially when/if I ever marry? I'm so terrified that because of what I've done I won't have a blessed marriage anymore.

I know what you mean about making it harder to fall. Since we live about 4 hours away we stay pretty far from each other. We have decided on many precautions such as limited physical contact giving someone a heads up when we go somewhere (accountability) and only being out in public. Even still I am so so scared of messing up and being separated from God. I know it must be a silly fear, but I really don't want to be so far gone that I am no longer in the palm of His hand. I definitely don't Feel ruled by my desire, but feelings change so often and I know this too well.

I guess this is all the guilt and shame talking through me and I just need to accept God's grace and pray. I will do my very best, but when I fall (for any reason) this time I will run to God immediately instead of hiding in shame (as Adam and Eve did).

Thank you so much for helping me again and for lifting my spirits.
I am so blessed to know you,
Ella

[dema]

You are forgiven. No judgement. You are washed white as snow with the blood of the lamb.

Consequences are a different thing. Bonding with someone intimately has consequences. Breaking a bond like that hurts. I tried to let my children know about the emotional involvement that comes with sexual intimacy - the vulnerability, the affection and desire to please that comes as part of the physical act that may not be appropriate. And then there is the desire to legitimize a relationship that may be totally inappropriate. There are so many consequences. But these are human consequences. Spiritually, you have accepted the blood of Christ and God has forgotten it. As far as the East is from the West - infinitely far - God has put your sins from you. God will not judge you for it.

There is the exception - if you judge others. So be careful with that. Remember the parable about the debtors prison.

God loves you. And God wants your love.

Bless you too.

[EllaMay]

Thanks Dema!

We are trying our best to live in God's will and we know all about those consequences first hand unfortunately. But God in His infinite loving mercy is leading us through this individually with Him. We want God's best for each other and for ourselves Thank you so very much... I can't even understand how Jesus has forgiven so completely and has washed me clean it's incredible!

Praise God!