Christianity Oasis Forum

[mellixx_heatwave]

Hello, I've just joined this site and wondering if there are any grounded christians that would be willing to talk with me about some of my problems. I would be very greatful if you could send me a message if you feel you can. God bless.

[FaithCW]

You've asked for Godly help, you yourself are grounded. Pray to God before you ask anything from someone else, and always make sure answers line up with His Word. When the scriptures say to trust in God with all your heart, part of the understanding is that you invite Him in first, which helps to assure where He leads you is where He wants you.

[mellixx_heatwave]

I am constantly praying to God which is probably the thing that is depressing me the most. The lack of response from God just adds to the rejection I already feel. I can't remember the last time I prayed to God without it ending in tears. I never hear from God not even in my spirit. I am baptized and attend Church but it just seems God is chipping away at everything good in my life. He won't listen to me- perhaps i'm not holy enough but maybe he will speak through someone else so I stop feeling so worthless and destined for failure.

[dema]

It is very important to realize that emotional hurts are every bit as serious as physical hurts. If somebody got hit by a car and their bone was sticking out of their arm and part of their arm was flat, you would NOT just tell them to pray and Jesus would make it better. You would pray over her while the ambulance took her to the hospital and a surgeon operated. You would pray with her while her stitches itched under her cast. You would pray over her while she went through physical therapy. And while she had the second surgery. You would rejoice with her when she could finally mover her thumb and finger until they touched.

Emotional injuries need the same care. Being ignored as a child, being sexually molested at any age, being hit or trapped in any way are serious injuries. And the process for healing takes months or years. And even then there will be pains similar to the pains people get from a broken bone when the weather changes.

Yes, Jesus heals. But Jesus guides the surgeons hands. He comforts while you revisit abuse and cry and rage.

And Jesus is essential to the last step - notice the LAST step in a long process. In the end, you forgive - which means giving it to Jesus. Forgiveness, look it up online or in the dictionary, means to let it go. Forgiveness does not mean restored relationship. Forgiveness does not mean letting him hit you again. And then again. And then again. That is stupidity. And the Bible teaches wisdom - not foolishness.

Those are two common fallacies. The truth is:

If you do not fully realize how you were hurt - you CANNOT forgive. Saying the words thousands of times will not make it so. You MUST deal with the hurt before you can truly forgive.

Forgiveness does not involve any contact with the offender. The offender doesn't even need to know. Unforgiveness doesn't hurt the offender - it only hurts you. Forgiving doesn't heal the offender - it only heals you.

Look these things up. Also look up repent if you are doing it.

[FaithCW]

Your first message touched my heart. When I read your response this morning, I really wanted to reach out to you. Hopefully, you have prayed, even though you mention the difficulty in doing so and rejection from a feeling that God is not answering you. Now that you've prayed, I hope you can find courage enough to trust by writing out one specific difficulty. satan is the author of confusion, do not allow him to speak louder than your God.

[mellixx_heatwave]

Thank you both for your support, I've prayed and decided instead of asking God for things and being upset when nothing happens I'm just going to trust in him.It's not all about what I can get it's about what I can give. Afterall, if the son of God can come down to earth to serve how much more should I be serving. Thank you again it's nice to know there are Christians I can turn to in times of doubt. God bless.

[dema]

If you have hurt you are stuffing down, if you are wanting God to heal it instead of dealing with it yourself, then you will have less feelings about everything most of the time. Nothing will excite you like it should. You won't feel love like you should. And at odd times, for odd reasons, you will have rushes of emotions. Tears or anger that embarrass you and cause you to run from the room.

Expecting God to heal you from emotional trauma is like expecting him to heal you from bad physical injuries from a car wreck. When a friend is in a car wreck, you take her to the hospital and pray for her there - while she is in surgery, while they are putting on the cast. It is EXACTLY the same for emotional injuries. God heals you as you are treated. But you need to be treated.

What is the treatment?

The first and hardest step is to get past denial. You need to learn about your injuries and how bad they were. Read about recommendations. Talk to others about the injuries. And then you need to weep and mourn for the injuries. For a while -not forever. You need to realize that you are still wanting that love you will never have. You need to get angry about that. And then you release.

What you said in your message is very true and very wise. Like, "I need to eat right and exercise more." But if your leg is broken, your wrist is sprained and you have three broken ribs, that isn't the word of the moment.

Hugs.