Christianity Oasis Forum

[Honey girl]

so whats going on with me today? I'm just so emotional, especially when it comes to my husband. we've been together since 1990 and married in 1997. we have 2 handsome young men, 9 & 12 years old. they are my life. my husband is away right now visiting his family because his mom had a heart attack. this might sound selfish but for some reason i've been upset at my hubby since he left. it's just a lot of little things that add up that get to me. I tend to let all that stuff build, and build and build and then i explode. I carry a lot of old wounds with me and i cant seem to let go of them. i tell myself, what the hell is wrong with you? why do you let it get to you? and I can never answer that question. two years ago my husband was away for work and I caught him talking to his old girlfriend from high school(20+ years ago) on FB. he talked about how he fell in love with her back then and how beautiful she was. that hurt me so bad. I said i forgave him for that but i dont think i really did. there's just a little part of me that doesnt completely trust him anymore. i love him but i dont know how to move on from that. i dont bring that up but i do pick on little stuff that he does that annoy me, but i know deep down inside it probably stems from that. i feel like he doesnt put me and my boys first on his list of priorities. i guess i expect a husband to be a certain way and he's not that way. for example: its 12:24pm right now and he has not called me. he forgets to call his boys to tell them hi, or goodnight, nothing. i have to scold him and remind him that he has a family here too. I totally understand his mother is not doing well but dont forget us, how hard is it to make a 5 min. phone call to your kids? idk, am i being ridiculous? i feel guilty because im upset with him especially because his mom is lying in the hospital. i want him to call but i dont want to talk to him because im probably going to start something. I'm so sad, mad, scared, confused, etc. with him and myself.

[xxJILLxx]

Hi honeygirl,

Welcome to Oasis!

Glad you are embarking on this healing journey.

If we do not forgive, it festers and probes and all sorts of not nice feelings are aroused inside of us. I think this path will be able to help you with forgiving your hubby if you apply it and practice it to your life. And the end result will be miraculous.

See you next step!

Praying for you, your husband and your mother-in-law.

God bless