Christianity Oasis Forum

[popples]

My husband and I have been married 18 years this Monday, and before I knew God which is only recent it didnt seem to matter what path we were both on because most of those 18 years it was two different ones....but now Im on the path to a recovered drug addict and the path with the Lord. I feel my husband is holding me back, I feel I always have to choose between him and the Lord. Should there be a choice??

[Christnundrconstruxn]

I am so sorry it is going this way for you,
And to answer the question...no there shouldn't be a choice BUT when and if things do not fall into place with the Lords lead then yes unfortunately choices MAY have to be made, You do as He commands of you, first it takes time to pull some from the darkness, I walked that dark path of drugs, alcohol and many other bad things for 20 some years but my then wife and my kids kept working on me asking "are you coming to church with us today" and praying along with half of the church that I would come back to the Lord, but the biggest problem I had was I felt I had to be "clean" as well as "good" to return to the church and our Lord, I didn't realize HE was the one I needed to help me become clean.
Next you pray for the Lord to show you the path and people to help you, You then explain to your husband how much he means to you and that there is nothing you want more than his recovery and healing so you both can walk with the Lord, then the ones brought by the Lord need to explain and make clear to him that you ARE going to continue on the path you are on.....with or without him.
I know some will not agree with this but it is my OPINION that satan uses some to pull others away from their walk with the Lord BUT the Lord is STRONGER than satan and if given the chance He will show those doubters just that.
I think your husband has a secret yearning to come to the Lord he's just scared, he started to open up here a few months back, I along with others saw it I'm sure, but he then backed away and that was satan doing what he does best....destroying.
Please let eric know just as we are with you we care very much for him and the path he chooses and we do NOT judge him for being where we all HAVE BEEN and some still are, the Lord wants us just as we are, He knows all about us and our problems and addictions that does NOT change His love for us, He loves Eric just as much as He loves anyone here or anywhere for that matter, He loves us ALL unconditionally AND equally.
Please let Eric know he can private message me ANYTIME ABOUT ANYTHING, I would be honored to be one the Lord chooses to help open his eyes as well as be a true friend and stand with him through his trials and tribulations.
Please let him know I will not throw a bunch of scripture at him (not that there is anything wrong with that) it's just a little intimidating sometimes, I am possibly more like him than he knows, I hung in the bars and pool halls I done just about any kind of drugs, I even had moments that I scared myself due to the things I was into, and just for the record some say it sounds as if I am bragging of these things............NO just remembering where God has brought me from, and no I do NOT want to forget it because it reminds me of His love as well as His power.
Good luck Gwen I pray you recieve the right answers from the Lord and you BOTH are able to escape satans grasp.
May God bless you both and wrap His loving arms around you both and keep you safe.
Cuc (Larry)

[popples]

today I learnt of hope,thankyou I will ask him to church again

[HelloMyNameIsSimon]

Popples, if Eric wants to talk to me again, I am here. Although I am at sea at the moment, internet access isn't great, but I can still send PMs. I had a good chat with him a few months ago and it would be great to speak with him again.
May God bless you both

Simon

[MrPopples]

I am sorry gwen that you feel this way and I know you have tried talking to me but Im not a good talker i enjoyed church I must say but now look since going to church our world turned upside down. Let me ask you a question...Was our life that bad before you found GOD????

[popples]

All I want you to do is to stop sitting on the fence hon choose God with me, come and I CAN HELP YOU get clean but only if thats what you desire.

[MrPopples]

Can you ever forgive me?? Is it too late?? Did I go too far??

[popples]

Eric isnt this amazing that we can come here to strangers and talk? Cant you see Gods hand in all this? Why are you so blinded. You cant make me love you by hurting me, that pushes me away. You cant hold onto me if I want to go. Fear is Satan, and I no longer can be bribed by fear, you can cause me what pain you wish but I am walking with God and that alone has more power than you or anything you may try. I love you but hate your actions.

[MrPopples]

I remember before you came to Oasis, we seem to be a happy couple, going through our daily stuff. Nothing seem to matter to us. I guess I cant fully comprehend what changed you, because your not the same person anymore. Its like you climbed this hill that Im still at the bottom off. Gwen I am seeking help here please be patient with me and even though I have hurt you dearly please find it in your heart to forgive me, just once again as you have many times. I guess the hardest thing for me to come to understand is you arent going back hey to how you and I once were. You have changed you are moving on. I miss how we were and Im trying to understand this new wife, one that you say is walking with God.

[popples]

Hon right now I think wouldnt it be great if we could say this stuff in person to one another but for now this is what is helping us.
First Eric the difference is I gave my heart to God, which means I handed all the old me over, yes I will still sin because I am human but I am learning here too that we can go back to God and ask for forgivness.
Eric we may have seemed happy before but that was worldly happiness and only lasted for a short time.
I am trying to not be angry at you for I remember I once was selfish too. I am hurt so you have to give me time and Im sorry hon I will never be the old Gwen because yes Im still walking with GOD.

[MrPopples]

I dont know what to think Gwen Im trying to climb up there with you but seem to keep slideing down. I will pray and ask God to help me, thats all I can do.

[Christnundrconstruxn]

This is to you both, I myself am able to speak better through paper and pen or typing because I am able think before speaking but yet it still comes from the heart.
Maybe it would be a good thing for you both to try to list the things you miss or want from the other more than anything else, list what you love most about the other, list the things you cherish that the other does or use to do for you.
And talk about these things in good ways DO NOT ATTACK or degrade ONLY POSITIVE!!!

Do this privately between yourselves, not here.

Eric you are exactly right

I will pray and ask God to help me, thats all I can do.
I dont know what to think Gwen Im trying to climb up there with you but seem to keep slideing down. I will pray and ask God to help me, thats all I can do.

Just continue to go to God and ask for guidence as well as forgiveness, He knows your heart and knows if you are serious about loving and holding on to the love of your life, and if it is faught for from BOTH sides then it WILL be!!

drugs come and go, pictures and movies come and go, NOTHING is forever.....except God's love!!
If you both decide to put God first in your marriage and treat each other as God designed us to do then your love will be as His.
I along with others here will continue to pray for you both as well as the healing of your marriage
Cuc