Christianity Oasis Forum

[realtmg]

One of the greatest gifts that God ever gives people when they begin down the tough road of recovery is the ability, the freedom, and the permission to feel again. In recovery, we learn that everyone has emotions, that feeling are neither "good or "bad", and that feelings are not to be feared or rejected. Instead of being disconnected from them, in recovery we learn to be unaware of them, to connect with them, and to experience them. Instead of feeling numb most of the time, recovery means experiencing – both intellectually and emotionally – the joy and peace and that are an essential part of this Christian life.

Grief, one of the first feelings to return to emotional health.
A sure sign that a person is beginning the process of genuine recovery is the return of the emotional life. They begin feeling again, and much of what they feel is pain and grief. With a clear mind they begin to experience reality, often for the first time in years. And, the reality they find themselves in is usually terrible. By the time they reach out for help, most addicts have lost all that is dear to them – family, career, and self-respect. After drowning their feelings with drugs and/or alcohol for so long, they can experience feelings very intensely. The feelings of grief and loss can be profound. They may find themselves grieving the death of a loved one or some other loss that occurred years ago. In these cases, their grieving process has been cut short through use of mood altering chemical (which includes alcohol). Adult children of alcoholics and others who have experienced abuse in their lives usually feel totally ripped off. They may sense for the first time the deep loss of not having a family where they felt safe and loved. Many grieve a childhood where they were never able to be kids because of the adult responsibilities that were trust upon them by parents who were out of control.

The key to working through all of this is to avoid using alcohol or drugs to turn them off their feelings again. This is a common cause of relapse for those in recovery. Instead, the recovering person needs to "feel the feelings" with a clear mind in order to work through them – and eventually leave them behind.

Some final thoughts.
A necessary part of reconnecting with their emotional selves is to begin to grieve what they've made of their lives, how they've destroyed the relationships. And this is one of the greatest gifts that we will ever bring to our program participants, so we need — but it is not going to happen on its own. It has got to be actively programmed into our activities. And that is when they need to know we are going to be committed to them as they work through this process. Time must be set aside to give them the opportunity to talk freely about what they are experiencing. There is a tremendous therapeutic value in verbalizing feelings instead of stuffing what is going on within them.In order to keep moving forward in recovery, participants must feel supported in the process of reconnecting with their difficult feelings, including grief. It is the responsibility of the program staff members to create an environment where participants sense that they can safely and freely express the struggles they are experiencing.
God is Real so take His Hand and walk with Him.

GBU

Real

[zeffer65]

not sure if this is the right place for my question but here goes. I lost my mother to cancer a yr ago April when she was gone we took care of dad who was in the final stages of cancer and lost him in december, he was already an invullid when mom went so we (my sister her husband and my wife) were left trying to take care of dad along with working and such anyway I dont know how to regroup emotionally. I'm a christian and dont drink or drug but I just feel empty and dont know what to do.

[ServeGod]

As a christian, never think your parents are dead, but know that they are alive with Jesus. Jesus died, rose the 3rd day, and was witnessed by many. Why.... to show and prove to us that those that believe in him will not die but will rise in Christ. Your parents are alive, and you might be separated for a while, but that Love you carry will never be taken away. Jesus will come and destroy death...
Feeling empty at the moment is normal, but they are waiting for you. They want you to be happy, and to continue to look after your family. Seek God and He will give you strength. Call out to Jesus and let him fill that void, invite the Holy spirit to comfort and guide you through these days of grief.
The day will come when your saddness will turn to Joy.
God bless you.

Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

[popples]

thankyou no I really mean thankyou your post helped me.

[realtmg]

Hello,
I knew I had posted about Grief in this forum.
My grandmother passed and I no longer have to go to the rest home Sunday's before Church and Wednesday's nights.
It was her time to go and she was at peace. I am too.
But, I thought in order to keep a positive attitude, I would share to this myself as a reminder. I also wanted to share with you in case you have grief.
ServeGod's reply to my original post was what I needed this morning.
It's beautiful how God works month's later.
Thanks Serve.
Thank You Holy Spirit for showing me.
Thank You for not wanting a drink to soothe the Grief.

GBU

Real