Christianity Oasis Forum

[notjustanumber]

Well I knew this was going to come at some point.....forgiveness.

I thought I was doing pretty good on this one but as I was reading this two people did not stop coming to my mind.

You hit the nail on the head when you said that I have no problem forgiving the most awful things but extremely difficult time forgiving things that even I admit I should be able to just let go of.

My husband is crack addict and yet I have so much mercy for him. If you can imagine all of the atrocious things people on crack do....it has been done to me. It has been a reality in my life. But I truly love him. Love him like Jesus. Maybe that is what makes the difference. I can forgive anything with him. I mean forgive to the level of forgetting it has happened....the most awful things! I hope that I am not actually blocking things out but I feel as if I have forgiven.

Yet there are two ladies who really, I feel, destroyed everything in my life. They did reasonably small "offenses" but they set off a chain reaction of destruction in my life from hell. Literally. To make matters worse they were at one time my friend and the other one was someone who, I know this is wrong to begin with, but she made me feel like I mattered....like I had value because she looked up to me. (This is partially why I have the user id...notjustanumber) They both turned their back on me. It was already a terrible time in my life. Things were going on that they had no idea about....very hurtful and painful things.

These are the ladies who came to my mind when I was reading stone 4. Obviously I still need to forgive them. I don't think about that hurt all the time anymore like I used to but when I see them I literally wish I could pull out their hair. This makes me very angry with myself for even thinking about these things and gives me a reason to not forgive myself. Set up from hell isn't it.

[Dora]

You really are not just a number. In His eyes you are worth dieing for. How sweet is that.

I'm sorry you were hurt. Can you take what you learned from the experience and move on? Maybe with some practice and prayer. The words Jesus said to our Father when He hung on the cross comes to mind. Father forgive them for they know not what they do. These people really don't know what they were doing when they did those things. Perhaps even thought they were doing what was right.

I appreciate your sharing and I can tell you are taking this study in deeply and examining yourself fully so to remove what is a hindrance in your spiritual life. You will be blessed for it. May God continue to be with you and bring these seeds he is planting with you to full fruitfulness.

[notjustanumber]

You are right...about all of that. Thanks for the reminder and thanks for responding.