Christianity Oasis Forum

[crystna26]

I just got done writing a letter to god and i wasnt going to write it out here but i think it will be a good step toward healing.I grew up in a christian home but never truly got saved until 2007. god really spoke to my heart through a friend and i knew then and there it was time. i started going to church,i was tithing,god delivered me from smoking cigarettes,and for once i was living my life right,although ive never really felt whole. I've had a social anxiety problem for most of my adult life and I dont know what it feels like to belong. I feel alienated anywhere i go,even at church. I always feel like people are judging me and i dont feel like i fit in anywhere. last year i had a falling out and it spiraled downhill fast. i started partying,i went back to smoking,i wasent talking to god anymore,it was almost like i was mad at him. the drinking got pretty bad. i would drink alone...most days when my husband got home from work i would be drunk. about 2 months ago i hit rock bottom. I made a bad mistake...that was when i knew it was time to get right with god for good. i asked for forgiveness but i still live with the guilt,people around me are saying nasty things about me and it really hurts. I'm tempted to get angry but i know god has a better plan,I believe god uses bad things for good and im just thankful im on the right track now.

[mlg]

Hello crystna,

Welcome to the counseling steps...you know hun, things happen sometimes that are "bad" ...because we have taken to sliding back from where God wants us to be. Often the "event" can be somewhat devastating....but I want you to know that God can use these types of "events" to draw us back to Him. Like you stated, it's not til we hit rock bottom...that He can actually begin to work...because before hitting rock bottom, it sounds like you were doing everything on your own, without any thought for God...once you hit rock bottom...you were able to realize that the only way to get back up was with help...help from the Lord. He's here with you now crystna, and He wants to show you that you can be renewed in the blood of the Lamb. All it takes is to repent, ask His forgiveness, and believe that Jesus is His only begotten son. It's that simple...yep it's often harder for us to forgive ourselves than it is for God to forgive us. God loves us...and He's willing to restore us, as long as we are willing to allow Him to do so. Looks to me like you have begun to take the first step in doing just that.

My prayers are with you.

Take care and God Bless

[Grace0713]

Crystna,
God Bless You, what a lovely letter to Him, your honesty and openess is heartwarming, Jesus loves you unconditionally...I was blessed to have read your letter today...Thank you for sharing it with us...and YOU do fit in here...You are on the right track keep going....You will be in my thoughts and prayers...

[Dora]

I just want to wrap you up in my arms and give you a gentle hug.

I'm sorry people are hurting you. The guilt is prison enough with out them heaping more on you.

I'm glad to see you're getting back with God. He truly is the way.

He's forgiven you.

Love you!