Christianity Oasis Forum

[xxJILLxx]

Cuc,

I can understand your pain and frustration, I too felt that void and anguish after my divorce. I thought it would never end. 5 long years of heartache and confusion and depression. I dont wish it on any and I'm sorry you are going through these trials. *hugs*.

Start putting some funds aside that are exclusively for your bankruptcy. And don't touch it . Be reasonable at the amount you put up. Maybe even a part time side job? Just until you have enuff? I know it's hard to find work nowadays , but when God is for us, things start happening. Doors start opening. Hang in there brother we are praying for u . Are there any lawyers in your church that will help you out as far as making payments n such ?

Love you much
God bless n keep u all
Jill

[Christnundrconstruxn]

This is something I wrote and put on y facebook page for some friends and felt as if I should share it here too.

You know we ALL talk of how we want this earthly life to be a better place but what do any of us really do about it?

Sure we talk of how we do our part in raising our children with the right values, we talk of how we do our part to "save the earth" by recycling, and even how we try to be the best friend someone could want.

BUT then we drink or do other things we shouldn't in front of our kids, we drive big suv's, buy and use things not earth friendly, and turn our backs on that person because they hurt us or did something we didn't like.

John 8:7

So when they continued to ask Him, He lifted up Himself, and said unto them, he that is without sin amoung you, let him first cast a stone at her

I'm just so tired of "Christians" (myself included) talking about what everyone ELSE is doing wrong, so as a way to stop it in myself I want to take a minute everytime I want to complain about what this person did or that person DIDN'T do and think about something good that I saw them do or remember them doing and if that doesn't work then think about something I may have done wrong to them and it was brushed off or forgotten.

You see we are ALL DIFFERENT and what one may consider not so bad or uncontrolable the other may see as very bad or lack of responsability and either or BOTH could be right BUT the point....IT'S NOT YOUR PLACE TO JUDGE!!!!!!

I just as you will one day answer for all I have done wrong OR right...and when we do it will NOT be to any human on this God given planet!! it will be to our maker, so lets all try to leave the judgement up to Him and forgive as we should because in the end you hurt not only yourself but the entire world around you because your actions spill onto those around you in ways you do not even realize.

So if I have ever done or said anything to hurt anyone reading this I am sorry from the bottom of my heart, and please know I ask the Lord every morning to show those that have not forgiven the same mercy that I beg for, because He expects you to forgive just as He forgave you!

Matthew7:3

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your on eye?

Matthew 7:5

You hypocrite, first take the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye

"Lord I ask that all who may read this has blessings poured down on them from You and to be given the strength and ability to do as you wish, I ask that you protect them all as they are not only Your children but my friends and relatives and brothers and sisters also, I ask for your forgiveness for ALL of what we have done that is wrong in Your eyes and to one day give us the strength to walk upright and without sin so that we may show You honor

Amen"

So for those of you that know and like me, much love to you, and those of you that judge and don't like me...I will pray for you and show you love anyway.

[Mackenaw]

Hello Cuc

I was blessed in reading this. thank you and Thank You Holy Spirit.

God bless and keep you, Cuc.
Love,
Mack

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Thank you Mack,
And it was so good to hear from you.
God bless
Cuc

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Well satan has torn me down AGAIN!!
I just feel like I am not supposed to climb out of this darkness, almost like this is my punishment for all I have done
I don't feel like God has abandoned me but I just cannot keep pretending and putting on a happy face, I once again am back to the wondering of why? why am I being spared? what is it that God wants of me?
It's as I said before, I sometimes feel I'm very glad it is the ultimate sin to take ones own life due to I think that is the one thing that has stopped me before when at my lowest points, I really don't want to be here anymore I'm just tired of the pain, hatred and loneliness,
I was struggling with getting my money for bankruptcy because I would try to help my (seperated) wife any time I could with bills and the kids, everytime I saved she would need help, she has already filed and is clear so now they will come after me, I have an older car that will not last much longer (she bought a almost brand new $15000 one) I struggle to keep it on the road so when my mother was blessed with another car she ask if I wanted her old one so I took it which as I said is an older one but I figured now I have 2 and can keep one running, mine gave out and I didn't have the cash to fix it so I registered and tagged the one that was given to me only to drive it less than a week and IT BROKE DOWN!! so I now have 2 broken cars and then find through the famous _-_-_-_-book that my sweet once mine is filing for child support, even though I have done all I could to help her, HECK I TOOK a DAY OFF to drive her around to look for a car!!!
After running to her rescue on the side of the freeway when she failed to keep oil in her other one!! I bought anything the kids needed and gave her money when I was able and she asked, she makes TWICE what I make (and THAT was thrown up in my face a couple times too (even though I went to her and ask what SHE wanted when I was making $2 more an hour but working nights...she wanted me to take the cut and work days)
So here I sit with NO car and cannot get either of them worked on, the dogs I got forced into taking are out of food and cannot get to the store, NO money saved for the bankruptcy (and they will be coming after me soon for a $150,000 loan), and now going to be taken for everything I got left through child support, AND I'M ALONE!!! what a great life this is!!
I'm sorry I put this out there like this but I just needed to vent some where and this is all I have left!
I just ask for your prayers that I stay focused and strong enough to withstand this storm
I know I should put my faith in God and I do, He is ALL I have left to hold onto and I have NEVER gave up on my trust in Him, I know the verse that says he will not tempt you beyound your strength but He is for sure allowing that limit to be tested right now.
May God bless all who enter here
Cuc

[xxJILLxx]

wow this is the second time i am typing this! I hate when that happens!

Dear cuc,


You got to hang in there. I feel your pain brother. It wasnt too long ago for me that i was right where you are.

Was i stressed? YES! Was i suicidal? You BETCHA! Was i lonely? ABSOLUTLEY!!!!

Divorced, Car repoed, lost my job from lies of coworker, food lines, welfare, no clothes for my kids for school year, scrounged to pay lawyer ( thank God He led me to one who took payments) borrowed money from family, depending on others to take me places,lights getting shut off, counting pennies to buy a loaf of bread... and thats isnt the end of it either! Just the tip of the iceburg. I felt so much pain and loss, i didnt want to wake in the mornings, i hated going to the mailbox and answering my phone..... anxiety to the max! I clung to whatever the wind blew my way to my dear life. I thank God HE WAS WITH ME, if it were not for Him and this website... well lets not go there,ok? YOU ARE NOT ALONE! AND WE ALL LOVE AND CARE ABOUT OUR BROTHER!

I survived by taking it ONE day at a time. Yep the ole song and dance. But if i just survived the next 24 hrs, til the next daylight... How do i do that? Make a short list of 3 to 5 things that you have to do TODAY, not in the next month and so and so and ( i got my self sick handling way to much at one time) First rpioroty at the top of list. AND once you have made your phone calls and done your running around to get list accomplished to the best of your ability... you did your part, for that day... now let Him do His. All you can do is the very best on your part. Once you have done that dear brother, LET IT GO! Put the list aside and dont think about it. Continue your day and surviving the best way you can and try not to worry about it. TRUST HIM , and remember His ways are not always going to be the way we thought it would be, or the most comfortable for us, but His ways are best even when we dont understand the who , what, when, wheres and hows. Because He is the Who WHat When Where AND How. Next day try again, after you tried again, you did your part, there is nothing else you can do to change the situation, you gave it your best. Accept that you did your best and move on with your day. Without worry and fear.

God i hope this helped, because this is how i got through it.

We love you cuc and are praying for you
We are only a pm away

♥Jill n vahn

[Christnundrconstruxn]

I know this poem will not go over well but it is about feelings from the heart, please forgive if it offends anyone this is the first poem I have written in a long time, I will try if I ever write another to make it one about something more cheerful but this is what was on my heart so this is what I wrote....sorry

Today I gain the age of another year

I'll try to look happy and hide the tear

I've done and said everything wrong

Hate and disappointment oh so strong

Wish it had a rewind or fastforward even

I could fix it or this world soon I'd be leavin

I pray for God's mercy and His love

And beg He take me to heaven above

Because here on earth I failed Him in everyway

To be here I cause pain and don't want to stay

I have hurt those I love and changed thier life

My 3 wonderful children and a loving wife

So to them and everyone else that's involved

Sorry does nothing nor anything has it solved

I cannot take the past or change it's way

So in this pain and misery I must lay

Due to the failure that I became

The life I live shall be that of shame

[gabrielle1965]

Cuc's
there is hope, and GOD has a purpose for your life and remember forgiveness is the key and forgiving yourself is a start. Listen Brother, none of us is perfect and will never be, Jesus knew that and that's why he went to calvary. You haven't failed him and you haven't failed your family. Your children need you! I know that children need both parents, even when the parents split, the kids need the foundation of love from both. Sometimes it's hard when there is unforgiveness with the parents but they need to see your strength especially in GOD, oh! do they ever need that right now. You are loved especially by GOD and I know by your children. Keep your head up and keep walking in GOD, things will get better even when the enemy is messin GOD is blessin.
Love your Sister in Christ

[mlg]

Hello my friend...something I wrote in response to your poem:

Thoughts of the troubled soul:

This life you gave me...I made a mess
Lord I can't believe you still bless.

What I feel I have destroyed
You Lord have come to fill the void.

I often think back on what if I had
And Lord you say, son I'm still your dad.

His reply:
The lives I have touched through your past
just in this time we've grown closer so fast

Souls you don't even know that I have reached
because you have used your past to teach.

Sharing your trials and the attempts by Satan
to defeat you and try to cause you to go hatin'

But you are standing strong in your love for me,
And I am faithful in return, I hope you see.

So don't throw in the towel yet my child,
I will never leave you nor forsake you even when life gets a bit wild.

luv ya CUC hang in there my precious friend.

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Good morning to my 2 awesome sisters gabrielle1965 and mlg
Thank you for your responses and yes I know you are both right, I just tend to let satan take me to the lows and show me all the uglies in my life but then God sends me angels like you 2 to remind me it's not as bad as I feel it is, but it is very hard to stay focused on the Lord and all the good, this reminds me of one of my favorite songs (lets just say there ain't no dust on my speakers after I play this one once or twice ) Randy Travis "Through the fire" there is a few to sing it but if you haven't heard him sing it I highly suggest listening to it he brings me to tears every time.
You both probably didn't know it but you have made what I thought was going to be a dark lonely birthday a little brighter

Mlg please let me know if you don't want me to but I would really love to add your poem to my collection (with acknowledgement to you of course), you brought me to tears with it you did an AWESOME job writing it, I did not know you wrote poetry but you for sure have a knack for it I hope to hear and see more from you, this really tugged at my heart I think you have that certain Someone that sometimes pours His words through your fingers just as He does me sometimes, I write some that are just of me BUT I have written some that I had NO doubt He was giving me the words as fast as I could type them...It's an AWESOME feeling, I want to print yours and mine and add them to my book, I dream someday of putting a book of poetry together and using it in the sales for something good (all the profits) because I feel it is a gift He gave me and I want to use it to give back

Thank you BOTH soooo much for being there and knowing just what to say to make my birthday a better one
I pray God will pour His blessings upon you both and show you the love like no one else can.
Cuc

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Hello all,
It has been too long since my last post here but I have been here posting in other area's
I guess some of that is because I do something that is good but bad, I choose to ignore what is going on in my life because it depress's me to get into it so I try to look for ways I may be able to help or comfort someone else and not think about my issues, which is good for reasons of that is what God expects of us, to help and love one another as ourselves
But the bad part is and this is NOT what God wants, I ignore my issues because I at times feel helpless or why bother just forget it and it sinks me into depression and then all I do is lay around and feel sorry for myself or hate myself, SO I'M WORKING ON THAT! I know I shouldn't base my heart on another but being alone just does not sit well with me and that is part of it also, my youngest daughter posted something on her fb page the other day that kinda stung alittle, some of you remember I have the dogs (driving me crazy but it's for my daughter) ANYway she posted she was watching some movie about a dog and started crying...she missed her dogs.....now what if it was a "dad" movie would she have started crying and missed me?? OR not I miss my DAD AND my dogs.....ouch. I know my kids love me but it wouldn't hurt if they would remind me every ONCE in awhile.

OK OK ENOUGH!!! NO more wah babying!!!
I did have a good sunday I was sitting in the balcony at church and a new person walked in and sat in front of me, part way through the service I notice he wiped a tear from his eyes no big deal I've seen it before....God put this man on my heart as I sat there I felt the need to do something.....WHAT! and as if it couldn't be any clearer my eyes focused on one of my fellow church brother's standing at the alter and I knew THAT'S IT HE WANTS ME TO BRING HIM UP TO SPEAK TO THIS NEW PERSON!! I jump up and go down the steps and as I do who is ALREADY standing at the bottom of the steps...my fellow brother I told him of the new guy and told of the urge to bring him to speak to him, we went up and I just kinda faded back into my seat until a few minutes later my brother motioned me to them and we talked I found out this man was alone "broken marrage" but also had been 4 days free from the alcohol that had controled him for years, we prayed for him but here is another awesome part the brother I spoke of taught a class in the church that I attended a few years back and one of the things ask of us in the class was learn one bible verse that touched us personally and try not to use one of the common ones, I chose 1Corinthians 10:13 and had the awefullest time learning it but chose it because of the "temptations" in my life but here 2-3 maybe even 4 years later here I sat with the one that encouraged me to learn this particular verse about to use it in ministering to this soul reaching for help, I met a new brother sunday and his name is Paul, PLEASE lift Paul in your prayers that the dirty tool of satan called alcohol be removed from his life for good and that he finds the path Jesus wants him to follow and he be blessed with God's love
GOD IS AWESOME ALL THE TIME, it is an awesome feeling when you feel Him using you to touch someone else!!
God bless all of you!
Cuc

[Mackenaw]

Hello Cuc

God bless you this day.

You said:

But the bad part is and this is NOT what God wants, I ignore my issues because I at times feel helpless or why bother just forget it and it sinks me into depression and then all I do is lay around and feel sorry for myself or hate myself, SO I'M WORKING ON THAT! I know I shouldn't base my heart on another but being alone just does not sit well with me and that is part of it also, my youngest daughter posted something on her fb page the other day that kinda stung alittle, some of you remember I have the dogs (driving me crazy but it's for my daughter) ANYway she posted she was watching some movie about a dog and started crying...she missed her dogs.....now what if it was a "dad" movie would she have started crying and missed me?? OR not I miss my DAD AND my dogs.....ouch. I know my kids love me but it wouldn't hurt if they would remind me every ONCE in awhile.

I'm not sure what your "my issues" are that you are ignoring, but if they are things you are praying about and given to God, then you aren't really ignoring them, but trusting God with them. The thoughts of our circumstances that we don't consider ideal will at times try to hound us a little, but, that's more reflex than anything else, plus the enemy of our soul toying with us. The enemy of your soul is definitely toying with you in regards to your daughter and her facebook comment about missing her dog. You know our kids are not here to entertain us nor for us to be their focus nor their burden, but instead have been entrusted to us by our Lord to love, care for and lead by example, soooooooooooo, don't take Satan's bait.

Keep encouraging others as you do, Cuc. And during those times when you are alone, take the time to spend in God's Word, listen to uplifting and inspirational sermons/messages, and come in here and respond to more posts, and/or come into Chat and inspire your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

Cuc, you are a very sensitive soul. God made you that way for His purpose, so allow Him to use you -- to put it to His work / for His purpose, ALL THE TIME.

Prayers are rising to our Lord on your behalf. May God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you, Cuc.
Love,
Mack