Christianity Oasis Forum

[Lia1Luv]

It is only by the grace of God that I'm still alive. I feel like David when he is grieved becuase one who he saw as a brother sought to take his life. Someone I called best friend turned around and hurt me to the inner most core of my being. This experience has taught me many truths about life, about myself , other people and most importantly I realized the love of God is not like man's conditional love. I realized I am weak and earthly minded and my biggest enemy is my own thoughts....I am myself a traitor, the reason why this experience was so difficult is becuase I had a hard time concentrating on God (like Peter trying to walk on water) I kept looking at my problem(s) at the person to change their ways and thought my relief would come from that, but the truth is God wanted me isolated to show me that he is enough. I am still struggling but I'm seeking help. It got to the point where no human philosophy could help me because I lost hope and was becoming cold...I knew I needed the quickening word. Praise be to God for his faithfulness inspite of my wrong. I dug the hole and I jumped in but his arms are not to short he is bringing me out. I am so grateful to have found Christian oasis, I am a college student, I can not afford to pay some shrink and besides I do not need something to appease the symptoms, I want to be healed, I want to be free...I dont mind having the scars but I am done losing. I feel the faith building inside of me...but the thought of complete deliverence seems so far away, but I am not afraid...since Christ defeated death, I too can resurrect out of this. I pray in time it feels more natural to think of my self loose from the chains and abyss of co-dependency. I am so grateful to have had this experience, now I can help someone with my testimony and even help them get out by God's grace but I am so over it. It can no longer remain in my life. I have been fasting all day. For too long my emotions have overpowered my logic and those things I will not are what I do. well my body must be starved today because my future depends on me getting out of this. I must nourish my soul and the God given victor, head and not tail spirit in me. I must be more than a conqueror through Christ, I believe this spirit of codependency is a demonic spirit from hell on a mission for my life but no weapon formed against me can prosper. I am under the Rock and it is higher than all. I admit my actions got me into this, I leaned unto my own understandings, I failed to ask God what his will was for my love life...I assumed it was his will for me to be in the relationship I was in. I will no longer repeat that particular offense, it almost cost me my life. I will not make any excuses for it. I was wrong and it caused me to fall and great was this fall but where failure and sin and weakness abounds, grace is more. I have faith and confidence that by the end of 14 days, I will be amazed what some asking, knocking and believing through Christ can achieve. Since God is not restricted through time, I believe that the healing is even now, for by his stripes I was healed. I am grateful to not be going through this alone, I have Christian Oasis, Eltwaun and so much support, no stronghold or power of darkness will hold me down any longer. Thank you Jesus, I plead your blood over this and you will cause me to be triumphant.

[dema]

Glad to have you with us.

[Lia1Luv]

thank you Dema. I'm glad God lead me here!

[Dora]

God bless you on this journey Lia.

I to struggle with co-dependency. I can understand the drowning feeling it brings and the anxiety.

Keep standing firm.

Here if you ever need a friend.

God bless and keep you.