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Day 3 - Faith to believe for emotional breakthrough
I'm thinking over yesterday as this encompasses yesterday and today. I had a breakthrough from God regarding my attitudes toward a friend. He set me straight that the negative thoughts were indeed thoughts from satan against my "Jewish" friend. I commanded satan to take that thought directly to Hell with him where it belonged. I asked my God to forgive me and cleanse me. I really felt clean and swept out.
Then...
I went to give some soup to my elderly neigbor who is doing so-so after a hip surgery about six months ago. She used to be sharp as a tack, but in the last few years she has been losing more of her memory. It grieves me so (not only for her but selfishly I am worried that will be my demise as well as I have been having problems with my memory as well). Anyway, I took the soup in and put it down and talked to her for a little bit. then I noticed she had a bruised and purple discoloration over her nose, forehead and cheeks. I commented on it. She told me that the night before she was sitting on her couch and must have fell asleep sitting up but woke up when she hit the floor face down. With her hip problem, she was unable to get up and didn't have a way to get to the phone but managed eventually to get herself up. She now looks worse and is hobbling more. It makes me think about how God must hate what sin has done to the world. It put fear into me about the reality of death and what is on the other side. About what is that last breath like? So, again, I find myself struggling with fear. Again, I need to read God's promises to be of good courage. I am finding it difficult to keep hold of them. I catch moments of strength but then they escape me again. The bigger picture outside myself, is that I should be sharing Christ with her. Yet I am feeling convicted because I have not lived a life as a neighbor that would reflect Christ. So how could she take me seriously. On not being a good neighbor, fear again is the primary reason I don't engage neighbors. The breakthrough which I am desiring is from this emotional bondage that keeps me from engaging people. Also, I wonder will my elderly neighbor, Dorothy, even be able to grasp when I am sharing Christ because of her failing mind. I pray for courage and the Holy Spirit to illumine me for the words to speak and for her mind and heart to understand and receive Christ.
Another different thought I had was that in my Bible study group we have each other's emails. Sometimes there are emails to all of us, but then sometimes individuals email other individuals to encourage or share what they may have on their heart. I had the thought that I may be left out. Panic! I also know that to be encouraged you have to share your heart; and that I have to be listening to God for when He wants me to share with other individuals. But I want "that" not to be of me (for a pat on the back) but from God so I can give Him the glory He deserves.
Then...
I went to give some soup to my elderly neigbor who is doing so-so after a hip surgery about six months ago. She used to be sharp as a tack, but in the last few years she has been losing more of her memory. It grieves me so (not only for her but selfishly I am worried that will be my demise as well as I have been having problems with my memory as well). Anyway, I took the soup in and put it down and talked to her for a little bit. then I noticed she had a bruised and purple discoloration over her nose, forehead and cheeks. I commented on it. She told me that the night before she was sitting on her couch and must have fell asleep sitting up but woke up when she hit the floor face down. With her hip problem, she was unable to get up and didn't have a way to get to the phone but managed eventually to get herself up. She now looks worse and is hobbling more. It makes me think about how God must hate what sin has done to the world. It put fear into me about the reality of death and what is on the other side. About what is that last breath like? So, again, I find myself struggling with fear. Again, I need to read God's promises to be of good courage. I am finding it difficult to keep hold of them. I catch moments of strength but then they escape me again. The bigger picture outside myself, is that I should be sharing Christ with her. Yet I am feeling convicted because I have not lived a life as a neighbor that would reflect Christ. So how could she take me seriously. On not being a good neighbor, fear again is the primary reason I don't engage neighbors. The breakthrough which I am desiring is from this emotional bondage that keeps me from engaging people. Also, I wonder will my elderly neighbor, Dorothy, even be able to grasp when I am sharing Christ because of her failing mind. I pray for courage and the Holy Spirit to illumine me for the words to speak and for her mind and heart to understand and receive Christ.
Another different thought I had was that in my Bible study group we have each other's emails. Sometimes there are emails to all of us, but then sometimes individuals email other individuals to encourage or share what they may have on their heart. I had the thought that I may be left out. Panic! I also know that to be encouraged you have to share your heart; and that I have to be listening to God for when He wants me to share with other individuals. But I want "that" not to be of me (for a pat on the back) but from God so I can give Him the glory He deserves.
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dabs316 - Posts: 53
- Marital Status: Not Interested
Dabs what a good caring heart you have. I'm sure your neighbor was blessed by your company.
Consider showing your faith in a simple way by just mentioning that you pray for her. Opening the door to deeper conversations.
There is no reason for those who love the Lord to fear death. Check out this study. I'm sure it will help open your eyes to more truths.
http://www.christianityoasis.com/endtim ... fDeath.htm
God bless and keep you.
Consider showing your faith in a simple way by just mentioning that you pray for her. Opening the door to deeper conversations.
There is no reason for those who love the Lord to fear death. Check out this study. I'm sure it will help open your eyes to more truths.
http://www.christianityoasis.com/endtim ... fDeath.htm
God bless and keep you.
Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Dora - Posts: 3759
- Location: In Gods Hands
- Marital Status: Married
dabs, you know where the fear and the anger is coming from...and strength, courage and love comes from...one is of the enemy...the other of God....choose God's strength, courage and love. This will make the difference...renewing your mind with thoughts of the Lord...and this too will strengthen your faith. I know you are struggling...but it's all about learning to have control of your mind and your thoughts...you will get there...one step at a time.
luv ya
luv ya
Do you know my Jesus? Do you know my friend? Have you heard He loves you? If not, I'd like to introduce you.
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mlg - Posts: 4428
- Marital Status: Not Interested
dabs, it is interesting that you are seeing your faults and changing them right away. So this may be a reason that the enemy is attacking you more with doubts and fears. You are working on them and that is great!
Don't worry about the e-mails. Alot of times, what we think isn't
Don't worry about the e-mails. Alot of times, what we think isn't
It is better to light a candle then curse the darkness
No fear... just freedom
No fear... just freedom
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deetu - Posts: 937
- Location: New Jersey
- Marital Status: Married
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