Christianity Oasis Forum

[Guest]

So today is day 1. i'm here because my mum forwarded me a promo e-mail for this site. It bacame all to obvious a week ago just how depressed and broken i was. Refusing to talk to family or friends i told mum i really needed help, needed a counsellor, but than realised at 180 a visit i just had to find a way to deal, the same way i've been dealing for the past 18months, silence. . . . when i got her e-mail i was reluctant to do this programe, in case someone knows me, fear, silence, same place i've been for so long until today.

i decided if i'm gonna do this thing i'm not gonna hold back, i'm not gonna be reluctant, and its gonna work, cause if it doesnt i dont doubt that suicide seemed like a very strong possibility.

There is no condemnation in christ jesus right. and we are called to be like him even if we fail. well i failed. i've had a life of jumping from one relationship to another, being the best me i could be but not determining if they were the best guys for a girl like me, drug addicts, criminals, immature and the list goes on. always looking for the good in everyone with blinders on. 2 years ago i was accepted into the police academy, they were filming a show called the recruits which i was a part of. my concerntration and focus on my goal became blurred with attention, popularity and excitement bluring my vision. i had a massive crush on the producer, and before long i was rejected from the academy and star eyed for this guy. now he didnt want a "relationship" but i hung around anyway long enough to be used for a few months before i got in my car in sydney and headed back to the gold coast. ON the drive home i had a call from a guy, i had met on myspace. he was the producer for some big shots and worked with names like angus and julia stone. all i needed was a friend and here is this guy calling me, i hadnt thought much of the friendship for 6 months while away, and heres me broken hearted and in need of a friend. After 10 hours of driving i was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. Still reading? then your gonna hear it all now. he took me to a gig the following night, he didnt drink but brought me a beer, just one beer, and in the excitment of the music i went to kiss him on the cheek to thank him but he turned for my lips and an accidental awkward pec happened. we ended up being best of friends, so i thought, we went walking together every day for about 2 months, he told me he was separated from his wife and stories about his life. we ended up becoming romantic. everything he told me was a lie, he was still with his wife, and she was pregnant. when i found out i felt silenced, it was little drips of information over a period of a time. my family and friends didnt even know i was seeing anyone. eventually the baby was born, i had a boyfriend i saw once a week and i just cried and felt so crap all the time. in Jan i had been with him a year and broke my silence and told his wife,,, because he didnt choose me! selfish hey. totally broke her, i told her details and dates and times, and spared no thought for her. she kicked him out and for another 7 months i continued him, this time they were going to counseling and i wasnt his girl, just the girl he "saw" every week. a week ago that all changed, he met someone else, i told the wife and she realised even counseling was a lie, she is shattered, so am i, and he says he has met the girl of his dreams. i knew it was wrong, i always knew, but i couldn't leave, i couldnt find the strength, and now i am an emotional mess in serious need of forgivness and grace. i know i have it, i know god loves me, and when ever i am going to cry now i just capute my thoughts and thank god that my ex met somone else so i wouldnt be in the same mess for the rest of my life, i thank god for jesus stripes and my healing and forgivness. i thank god for health (the last 18 months i have had every illness due to my sin i believe, and before i had never been sick). i thank god for an education and a better financial position. and i'm claiming a well deserving husband who values me and really loves me. i claim a high esteem and the ability to walk away when its right to even if its hard too. no one feels for the mistress, but i do, because i wore her dress and walked in her shoes and i know how it can eat up the girl who was once just a miss.

[UpSide413]

Hi Tules84
Way to go Girl!! You are on your way to healing!

I just started the program 4 short days ago and I've already felt major changes in my life. You will too. God loves you no matter what! AND!

1 John 1:9 (NIV)
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

NO ONE is left out from that verse!! wooooo weeeee!! PTL

John 3:16 (NKJV)
For God so loved TULES84 that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Tules, now you need to love yourself!! Open up and let God's Love fill up and run your cup over! He will. He's like that, pretty Awesome!

So Glad you're here! Be seeing you around!
UpSide

[Dora]

John 8:10Jesus straightened up and asked her, Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?

[deetu]

hi tules... glad you decided to come
the study is great and you will get alot out of it

looking forward to seeing you in chat