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A MIRACLE IN MY HEART

Postby Guest » Mon Jul 26, 2010 8:36 am

DAY 1-Today, I woke up @ 3:30 or 4:00 am, my heart was hurting so bad and begin to cry. The more I cried the more the pain intensified. It hurt so bad my muscle in my back begin to tense up. I felt like I was dying from the inside out. What has caused such pain? It is my unwillingness to let go of my past love. Yes, a man, the one I thought would be my husband, the love of my life, my friend, my joy and my mate. I have loved him for so many years. I was betrayed by him years ago with another woman and I forgive him, only four years later, to be betrayed again. I must admit that I have betrayed him as well. He has forgiven me and moved on with his life. But, I feel like I am stuck. I love him, but I am constantly remained of what he has done to me the lies, deceit, cheating and he continues to say that he loves me and he wants to be with me. Although, his actions-where he spends with quality time, who he talks to, laugh with, share with is not me. It is with someone else. I want to forgive him and move on with my life, but I don't how. I have tried: I blocked his phone number, I wrote letters of apologizes, closures, and even tried to sit down and reason with him. Only to come up short and continuously hurt. I have prayed and I have ask other to pray for me. I asked God to take it away and it seems like nothing is happening and I am getting worse. My chest hurts so bad. I can't think clearly. We started talking again and it became an argument, I decided that I could no longer try to work things out knowing that he is not in love with me any longer. It really hurts to love someone who doesn't return the love in the same manner. I just want to be whole and right again. I still believe in love. I believe God has appointed someone to be my husband. I want to be ready to receive him when God send him my way. I want to be healed. I want to release any unforgiveness, anger, bitterness and replace it with love, joy and peace. I want to love him as God intends for me to love him, not my will-but let your will be done, God. Show me the way, teach me how to and what to say. I am in your hands. I need You God, My Father, to work a miracle in my heart.
Thank you, Father. In Jesus Name, Amen.
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Postby Bloodstone » Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:43 pm

Praying with you, Sis. *hug*
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Postby mlg » Mon Jul 26, 2010 7:12 pm

Hi tthay,

Welcome to the Oasis. We are so delighted to have you here. Tthay, I want you to know that there is healing for your brokeness. Sometimes we allow people to become more to us that God is to us...and we may not see it at the time...but if we could step back and look at the whole picture we will see this. If you will allow God to become first in your life...He can help you up and help restore you.

Praying for you tthay...glad you are here...and you are now on your way to healing.

Take care and God Bless you
Do you know my Jesus? Do you know my friend? Have you heard He loves you? If not, I'd like to introduce you.
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Thank you for praying with me and for me.

Postby Guest » Sun Aug 01, 2010 6:12 am

Good morning, I have been completing the online christian counseling and it has brought somethings to my attention that really need to be dealt with. I am grateful for your prayers and I pray that God will repay you with his goodness. I as stated I am using the counseling session of this site to help me heal, but unfortunately, yesterday I failed miserably! I got a call from his phone number which I have blocked out, but went to my voice mail and I can hear his conversation. He was away from the phone and then he came close to the phone. It was as if someone else had call and was playing on the phone. I want to talk to him so bad so I called him. He wouldnt answer so I went to where he said he would be to confront him, in spite of my spirit telling me not to go. It was the worst thing that I could have ever done. I felt so low and like a complete fool for even bring myself to this point. It hurts so bad, until I could not sleep at all last night. :cry: It made me want to quit everything. I am a few assignments away from completing my masters degree and my deadline is fastly approaching. I feel that I can't do it. I cant think clearly, nor can I see beyond my circumstances. My heart feels like it is about to burst...my muslces ache in back, I am so weak and I have given up. I am suppose to move in 14 days to a new city with a new job and promising career. I dont think I go forward. I feel like such a failure. I want to go to sleep and be with me Lord. I am sick and tired of this world. *help* *help* *help* *help*
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Postby mlg » Sun Aug 01, 2010 8:48 am

Now my sister, if I may speak truthfully with you...what you did...as you know made circumstances worse....but hindsight is 20/20 and now you have to get up and move forward....sometimes what we see is a tragedy is often a blessing...but we spend so much time looking back we don't see what is ahead....sis it's time to look ahead...to put your focus on the Lord and His plans for you...and to fully commit yourself to Him and His will in your life. I can assure you that God has the best of plans for you...but it requires us not to be selfish...and it requires us to be obedient to Him...and yes it takes work...but it is worth it....come on sis you can do this...finish the race strong.

My prayers for you continue.

luv ya
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